Location: A party My husband and I were at this party thrown by an acquaintance a couple of weeks ago. Having just moved to a new city, we are still in the process of making friends and a party seemed like a great way to do it. So there we were, three or four other couples and us, making the usual small talk and getting acquainted, so to speak. All the women were working in various capacities in different fields. Sure enough, when my turn came, I was telling them about myself, how I'd come to the US as a newly-wed two years ago with my software consultant husband, that I wasn't working yet... At which precise point, I was, as expected, interrupted by a volley of questions... "What, you don't work???!" "What do you do all day, then?" "How do you spend your time?" "You poor thing, you must feel so bored sitting at home all alone!" Now, I don't mean to offend these good women; they were just being 'concerned' and feeling genuine 'sympathy' for me and my apparently 'miserable' existence. It took a whole lot of explaining on my part to make them understand (I still wonder if they did!) that I have no qualms whatsoever about 'staying at home', 'all day', 'alone'. Especially since I stay at home by choice! And enjoy it. Tremendously!! It isn't like I won't work or anything or even that I'm underqualified -- I have a Masters in communication, no less. It's just that I'm having too good a time taking things easy. I'm not yet ready to settle down to the regular hours, responsibilities and demands that come with a full-time job. I do intend to work someday, when I'm good and ready for it. Till then, I'll sit back and have a jolly good time. And no, I have no ego hassles whatsoever about it; I'm pretty content with the way things are going. No one, unfortunately, seems to be the least bit convinced about what I say! Location: The Immigration and Naturalisation Service office, New York We're waiting in queue for our fingerprinting to be done. My number is called and a young, friendly African-American accompanies me to the booth. Throughout the process, he keeps up a steady stream of conversation. Not being such a bad talker myself, I join in. Everything seems to be going great. Then comes the zinger. "It's been just so much fun talking to you... So what do you do? Uh, lemme guess, you're studying, right?" "Well, not quite. I did do a couple of courses at the university some time ago but, as of now, I'm doing nothing in particular," I chirp brightly. Silence. He lets out a sigh and, when he speaks, he sounds pained. "That's too bad," he says. "I know a lot of women, especially of your race (before you cry, "Now, that's discrimination!!!," let me assure you he was a sweet guy; he didn't mean it like that at all) who don't work. Maybe it's the culture, but I feel so bad for them. Just stay at home, look after the kids, cook dinner, keep the husband happy... Makes them seem so... so... whaddayacallit?... subservient, somehow. Now, me and my girlfriend... blah, blah, blah.... blah... blah." Needless to say, I butted in (whenever I could interrupt his passionate soliloquy) and did all I could to assure him it wasn't like that at all, we have no such cultural dictates imposed upon us, that practically every young Indian woman I know is either working or in school and is really serious about her career. And that I, too, would get a job someday, in the not-too-distant future. (God, what did I get myself into? Maybe I should've just said, "Yeah, I'm studying." What was I thinking?!!) I hope he was listening. Anyway, to get back to the point, is it a crime to be young, educated and jobless? If so, then I, for one, am revelling in it. I love the luxury of being able to wake up late in the mornings, of savouring my morning cup of coffee with no other thought on my mind than simple, mundane, even boring things like what to make for dinner (with due apologies to my friend at the INS office) or what movie to watch on cable (maybe doze off for a bit on the couch while I'm at it), to sit down in the patio with a good book (and then doze off again, maybe...!). I like sitting for hours together at my computer, thinking up ideas for the book I'm going to write someday, the book that's going to be a huge bestseller; I like having my husband come home for lunch and having tea together in the evenings; I love that we're able to go on walks or long drives, that we can just take off on little trips now and then without having to worry about clashing schedules and tensions at the workplace. Yeah, go on, call me lazy, call me a couch-potato, call me a doormat... I'll take no offence whatsoever. Really. To all those working women out there, hats off to you. I admire you and what you're doing and aspire to be just like you one day. But, for now, just let me be my lazy, boring, predictable self. Location: Home I'm on the phone with my dad and, as always, he enquires about our goings-on and what we've been up to this past week. Just as I launch into a highly animated description of another pleasant, though not particularly 'eventful', week, my dad goes, "Priya, kiddo, it's been two years now. How about looking for a job, huh? I'm sure there're a lot of opportunities out there..." Aaaaarghhh!!! Priya Krishnan aspires to be like all those working women out there. Someday. Illustration: Lynette Menezes Do tell us what you think of this diary
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