'After Chandni And Lamhe, Darr Would Have Been An Ordinary Character For Me'

'If I'm playing Shah Rukh Khan's role, then of course, I would have loved to do it.'

Even when she was at the top of her game, Sridevi never took it for granted.

"I was busy with my films. I never relaxed. I never thought, 'Aah I'm at the top and nobody is there behind me. All the time I used to be on my toes," she had told Dinesh Raheja, then the editor of Movie magazine.

We look back at Sridevi on her seventh death anniversary on February 24 with a throwback interview from 1994.

This was when Sridevi could look back on years of domination over Hindi cinema but also a time when she was fighting to keep her career at an even keel.

You have already achieved today, what most people aspire to in a lifetime. Now what? Are you complacent and coasting or still in the midst of the battlefield, fighting against the odds and seeking creative fulfillment?

My attitude is not that I have to be here, so let me do films.

Today, if I wanted to do films just to keep myself busy, I could have signed 15, 20 films.

But I don't want to do that. I want to do very good films, not lots of films.

Rekha was No. 1 only for a short while during '80-'81, Hema Malini reigned from '73-'79, while you had the longest spell: '83-'91. How did it feel to be on top for so many years?

To be very honest, I never thought about it at all. Maybe you don't believe it.

Because I was busy with my films.

I never relaxed. I never thought 'Aah I'm at the top and nobody is there behind me. All the time I used to be on my toes.

Are you still on your toes?

Yes, of course. Till I am in this industry, I have to be on my toes.

How would you react if they were to say that Madhuri Dixit and Juhi Chawla are racing ahead? Would it spur you to prove a point?

No, I've no points to prove. Right now, all I am interested in is signing a good film.

If I ask you what's your number today, what would your answer be?

Why should I say? Everybody knows where I stand now (laughs). I do not bother about these things.

In a recent interview, Anil Kapoor has gone on quote to say Juhi is No. 1 now.

He is entitled to his opinion.

At one time, Boney Kapoor said he would never plan a film with anybody but you.

I am flattered.

But now, he has signed Juhi for his latest home-production (the film Loafer).

That's fine. See we made \Mr India, it took three years. Then we made Roop Ki Rani... That look five years.

So now let us give each other a break, so he can make a quick film and I can make a quick film too.

Do you lament the fact that when an actress has matured and is in peak form, like you are now, she doesn't get the kind of roles she deserves? There is a lot of emphasis on youth and new heroines in this industry.

Look, there is a phase in one's career, the song and dance phase. It's over.

It is followed by the phase performances ke liye, when they write the characters only for you.

I don't think that's wrong because if in the beginning itself you start crying and doing roles that call for histrionics, later there's nothing challenging left to do.

You've done a lot of challenging work with Yash Chopra in Chandni and Lamhe. Why didn't you do his Darr?

Look, after Chandni and Lamhe, I feel Darr would have been an ordinary character for me.

If I'm playing Shah Rukh Khan's role, then of course, I would have loved to do it.

The character Juhi played was new for her and so it was good for her.

But for me, it was something I had done many times before.

Talking about challenging roles, you know I feel you've never really played a strong woman like Mother India, Bandini or Damini.

I too wish I could. I haven't.

I feel a little bit of Sadma continues to linger in all our other characters...

Oh no, don't tell me (laughs).

A little bit, just a shade. Like when you roll your eyes. Do you think it peeks through in other films too, especially while attempting comedy?

Well, no. I could do Sadma so well because I was immature at that time.

Even after I grew up, I was more or less treated like a kid.

At home, everybody made fun of me, 'You are a mature girl, behave like one.'

Still, I kept holding onto my mum's pallu and was very dependent on her.

Now, are you dependent on your mother?

Yeah, definitely. Even now.

On and off screen, your whole persona is that of a child woman.

Child woman, that's true. I also think it's high time I dropped the child in me.

Childlike you may be, but I think you have the killer instinct. You don't know what killer instinct is? Killer instinct is the ability to cash in on an opponent's weakness and move in for the kill.

I don't know if I have a killer instinct (laughs). I don't know at all.

If I put all that in the role, it's because that's the only thing I know (laughs).

There is nothing else I know how to do.

So, all the time, when I sit, I'm thinking about my character or dresses.

It's the only thing I know from the beginning, since childhood.

Don't even personal incidents distract you?

When my father died, I thought everything came to an end for me.

I had thought I will not shoot anymore. I will not work.

It was a shock, I was really shaken. I didn't know what to do.

Slowly, I came out of it. Life has to keep going.

It may be difficult for you to reconcile to an idea of an arranged marriage, you have passed that age.

My mom is very worldly and understanding.

She knows my taste and she knows the kind of a person who will be right for me.

And now, she says it's high time I found a man.

It's so difficult to find a boy for you... so find one yourself.

She tells me, If you find anybody, let me know.

Are you searching?

Um, no (laughs).

Why?

My life revolves around my make-up man, my hairdresser, my assistant, my brother and my family.

That's a headache I'll leave to my mummy.

But you just told me your mummy's saying you have to search a boy for yourself. So how do you solve the problem?

(Laughs) You've given me something to think about.