'I don't really miss this world as much when I was away.'
'But when you face the camera, you realise how wonderful this world is too.'
After 13 years, Sharmila Tagore returns to the movies this week with Gulmohar.
The film sees her opposite Manoj Bajpayee and tells an emotional story about family bonds.
Sharmila opens up to Rediff.com Senior Contributor Roshmila Bhattacharya, and says, "From the moment you hear, 'Start sound...,' you become someone else. You may have had an argument with someone before the shot, but as a performer, you are more generous with others and nothing matters anymore."
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It's been 64 years since your first film and you have evolved into a National Award-winning actor since. What was it like working with Manoj Bajpayee, a three-time National Award-winning actor who plays your son in Gulmohar?
I'm happy we got to spend so much time together.
Manoj is such a wonderful actor and I have learnt so much from him.
It was a very close-knit team with Rahul (V Chittella, Director) at the centre.
He is silent, only conversing with his DoP (Director Of Photography), so much so that at times, you were not even aware of his presence, but he was always there.
You have won two National Award yourself, for Mausam and Abar Aranya. What memories do they bring back?
Very pleasant memories. Mausam was with Gulzarsaab and I was wound up about playing the younger character, Kajli, who is a sex worker.
What should I wear?
Should I do it?
All those cuss words...
You pulled it off brilliantly...
Well, I had never studied acting. I have no formal training, having never been to a film institute.
So I didn't know the craft as such. What you see on screen is mostly what came from within and what I learnt from the directors I worked with.
Asit Sen taught me about the camera; from Gulzarsaab I learnt the language and how to speak it.
I wasn't expecting either of the two awards, but it felt good when I won them.
Do you ever watch your films?
(Laughs) During the lockdown, I did.
The good, the bad and the ugly, everything.
I really liked Gulzarsaab's Namkeen, a sweet, lovely film.
Haribhai (Sanjeev Kumar) was so good in it.
Going by my assessment of my work, I would say that Nimki is a more mature performance.
You are returning to the screen after 13 years; your last film was Break Ke Baad in 2010 in which you played Deepika Padukone's mother.
Did you enjoy the Gulmohar experience?
I've enjoyed every moment!
It came at an age when I'm a little detached from the industry.
It is Rahul's beginning and my ending. He's looking forward while I was more of an observer, looking at everyone from a world of experience that comes from getting older.
We hope Rahul is able to persuade you to do another film.
It's not that one wants to do more films.
Even when I was working actively, there was a big world outside our little world and I have always been engaged with it.
All my relationships have been outside of films.
So I don't really miss this world as much when I was away.
But when you face the camera, you realise how wonderful this world is too.
From the moment you hear, 'Start sound...,' you become someone else. You may have had an argument with someone before the shot, but as a performer, you are more generous with others and nothing matters anymore.
I feel blessed that Rahul came to me with this script and I got to work with a great star cast.
I knew Manoj was a brilliant actor, but I had no idea how wonderful the others would be, be it Simran, Suraj or the parallel track of the domestic workers.
Everyone has acted really well.
There's this one scene in which Suraj's Aditya, who is looking for a place, goes to meet an estate agent.
It's a small role, not really needed in the script, but the actress who plays the estate agent is so good; she makes the character special.
I hope the audience will like the film too.
