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'I’ve got what it takes'

Despite being a newcomer, you had the opportunity of working with some great directors.

My directors have been wonderful. They have never treated me like a newcomer. With Mani Ratnam, I started with the best school. I’ve always admired Mani and, when he called me, I was not sure if I wanted to let it pass. I think that was sort of the crux. He signed me on without even taking a test. So, I thought if all these makers are asking me, then it’s probably meant to be.

What you’re seeing in the last year did not happen overnight. They all happened before or during Aur Pyar Ho Gaya. It’s not the question of a hit or a flop that made them decide. I decided that if I don’t enjoy the medium, I always had the option to get up and leave. But if I let it pass, maybe the thought would linger.

I don’t like to regret anything and I had taken my time to decide. It was not as if I jumped when the offers came in. I had taken two years -- a year of Miss India and a year of Miss World. This was enough time for me to interact with people, to talk to people. I found myself discussing stories which I eventually did not do. But then, I was discussing them, I was enjoying this whole creative world.

Today, I’m really glad I made this choice. I have no regrets whatsoever. I thank God for the kind of experience I’ve had. People look at it as fairy tale like, I guess, because of the kind of directors I’ve got to work with from the onset. But there are two sides of the coin. It’s been very hard work and that’s what I’ve enjoyed the most. If it was a cake walk, I would have probably found it boring.

Didn’t it hurt your ego when your films flopped, considering you had tasted success at the world level?

It depends on what you are focusing on. I’ve learnt my lesson very early in life, in my tenth grade. Like I said, I’ve always been a good student. I’ve always got a first rank except for my seventh grade mid-term when I stood second. I was head girl and was good at co-curricular activities.

There was this ‘good girl,’ this ‘achiever’ kind of aura around me. I’m not saying I was egoistic, but there was a certain level of confidence in me. My parents never pushed me, but it was taken for granted because I always came first. It never was a big issue for me to get the first rank.

When I came to the 10th grade, my seniors, my juniors, everybody thought I’d top the ICSE board exams. But I came seventh or eighth in class and that was a huge ego blow. That’s when it hurt. It really hurt because I had not valued my first rank until then.

I realised it was an ego thing. I got into Jai Hind and I did my 12th grade in Ruparel eventually. My percentage was not poor, but it was only a trivial ego thing. Although I came eighth, there was only a 0.5 percent difference between the girls. It was then that I realised I was trying to live up to other people’s expectations and not my own. I’d never set any goals for myself.

That was the only time in my life that I really cried. Thankfully, I had my parents and friends who kind of put things in perspective for me. Then came the 12th and I got 90 per cent in my PCB, which was not that great. I would not get into Bombay's medical colleges, although, for architecture, it was a very good percentage. But I took it better this time.

I’ve always had this middle path perspective since the 12th. I never got swept away by success or bogged down by what people perceived as failure. By the grace of God, I’ve really not tasted failure from my perspective, in the sense that I’m learning constantly. There is a broadening of perspective and a better insight into life. I feel I’m more in touch with me as a person, with the reality of life around me. That itself is a very positive energy.

When I stood second in Miss India, my modelling graph was getting better despite of the so-called ‘fall.’ People thought I did not become number one. But what would the contest do? It would take me to an international pageant and I was still doing that. I went for Miss World as opposed to Universe. No big deal.

So what people perceived as failure didn’t really affect my life. I got better assignments and better business deals and I went for the international pageant. The icing, thank God, was the Miss World title.

Suppose that didn’t happen and I had decided to join films, I had plum projects even then. It just got delayed by a year and I had this great experience of Miss World. I guess it’s just the ‘right place, right time’ syndrome.

I had the best of the makers. Mani was making a different film like Iruvar. It was not a box office hit, but I got critical acclaim. People said I’ve got what it takes. If you look at it from a clearer perspective, that was just what I needed. I needed critics to say that I could act. I didn’t need a hit because a hit would get me films with good makers which I was already had, a good price, which I was already getting, more covers, which I already had whatever be the headline.

Aur Pyar Ho Gaya was not a box office hit. But the whole industry said it was a typical Hindi film, showcasing a typical film heroine. It’s just that, because people interacted with you through your interviews, they expected a little more intensity. They suddenly expected a little more from Aishwarya Rai.

A typical launch Hindi film showcases everything a Hindi film heroine needs to do -- laugh, cry, dance, sing, do all emotional scenes, be outrageously garrulous. Aur Pyar Ho Gaya had all of that. Although the film was not a box office hit, the industry told me I’ve got what it takes.

At that point, I had already signed Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, Aa Ab Laut Chale, Albela… I had eight films already. What the media saw as was, in actual terms, just one film at the box office.

For that matter, take the newcomer’s award. Only Screen gave it to me. At other award functions, I didn’t get Best Newcomer. It’s a very good feeling to get awards or even a box office hit but, despite not getting those so-called awards on the mantelpiece or box-office hits for some time, I still had what I wanted -- working with great directors and good scripts. That’s the best award for me.

A newcomer’s award is only supposed to have the industry welcome you and accord you with those opportunities. But I already had those. So I think it’s all about what you focus on. That’s why I’ve always been very, very positive.

Last year when I had those two hits, people said, “Finally, after all this wait, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam and Taal. But I haven’t been here that long. Jeans was a hit in Tamil, however much you would want to deny that. Jurassic Park didn’t run in Hindi, but you did n’t run down Spielberg. So why run Shankar or me down when it was a hit in the original language?

Aur Pyar Ho Gaya was the only Hindi film that did not do too well at the box office. And then I had Aa Ab Laut Chale, Hum Dil… and Taal. That means my third and fourth release were hits. Aa Ab… also did reasonably well at the box office. It was not a flop. By the grace of God, it’s not been that bad at all. Since I’m aware of the truth, I’ve never had a negative perspective.

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