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This article was first published 10 years ago

20 things you need to stop doing in your 20s

Last updated on: August 04, 2014 10:57 IST


Photographs: Anurag Bishwas/Wikimedia Creative Commons Neeraa Srivastav

The 20s can be the turning point of your life.

Neeraa Srivastav, author of The White Crow, lists out the things you need to stop doing while in your 20s.

So you are through with the difficult, cranky teens.

Done with coping with the changes -- mentally and physically.

Done with being scolded at, monitored and cajoled!

Welcome to the 20s -- a time of freedom, coming into your own, college buddies, work buddies, crazy things, future dreams and night-outs.

But wait!

What you do and don't in the 20s could be the turning point in your whole life.

Your decisions, choices and preferences can determine the happiness quotient in your life.

So take charge of your 20s while you can.

Here are some quick 20 things to stay away from that can actually help you from wrecking your life.

Please click NEXT to continue reading...


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1. Compulsive relationships

Image: Being in a forced relationship will most certainly lead to heartbreak. So don't get into one!
Photographs: Benoit Tessier/Reuters

You don't have to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend just because you are in your 20s.

Do not force your way into a relationship because everyone else is in one too.

Rushing into a relationship can and will leave long-lasting scars.

So be patient! :-)


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2. Putting family last

Image: Always, always make time for your family!
Photographs: Shashwat Nagpal/Creative Commons

Those who nurtured you in your journey do deserve to be given priority.

 Your parents are a treasure to be cherished for life.

If you are married, your own family too deserves your kind attention.

Relationships are the real assets we have.

Don't ever forget that!


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3. Postponing career decisions

Image: Your time is now! Wake up!
Photographs: Nicky Loh/Reuters

Time waits for no one.

Don't put your career decisions for later.

You are young. And these years will define how the rest of your life shapes up.

Make the most of them.


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4. The 'herd' mentality

Image: Don't follow your friends blindly.
Photographs: Still from the film Mere Dad Ki Maruti

Follow no one but your heart.

Your friends may follow certain paths.

There is no need to follow them.

We all have the freedom to choose what we want to do so please exercise that right!

In the long run, you will be happier having created your own path.


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5. Taking parents for granted

Image: Don't take your parents for granted.
Photographs: Danish Siddiqui/Reuters

The ones who gave you life surely deserve to be more than just 'old folks' .

Respect and cherish the life-givers and express gratitude as often as you can.


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6. Not creating bonds that mean something

Image: Make bonds that will last a lifetime.
Photographs: Lori Thantos/Creative Commons

Kill the 'opportunist in you' as that can ruin all the good fortune in your life.

Create bonds with people because you want to, not because you can use them for your own benefit.

Use things, not relationships.


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7. Working for money, not for dreams

Image: Don't work just for money
Photographs: Vivek Prakash/Reuters

Your CTC sure is a good thing but working merely for that can deaden your fulfilment for life.

There are other aspirations that are more important than compensation which become clearer only in future.


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8. Blaming circumstances and people for what is wrong in your life

Image: Don't blame others/God for how your life has turned out.
Photographs: Rediff Archives

So and so did this to me'. 'My life sucks'. 'My parents didn't do enough'. These are the typical sentiments of a loser.

Take responsibility for each and everything in your life and empower yourself.


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9. Putting a full stop to learning and growing

Image: Don't give up on learning new things. Ever!
Photographs: Still from the film Rocket Singh Salesman of the Year

Eradicate 'I know it all' from your inner dialogue and pursue learning relentlessly.

That's the only and sure way to growth and success.

The greatest achievers are the greatest learners.


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10. Making generosity a barter game

Image: Spread the light and don't expect anything in return.
Photographs: Elvert Barnes/Creative Commons

Ever heard of random acts of kindness?

Well, put them into practice not for what you may get in return but for goodwill.

Goodness cannot be bartered. Ever!


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11. Investing in wrong values

Image: Give up jealousy, greed etc.
Photographs: Damir Sagolj/Reuters

Envy, jealousy, hunger for money, greed etc are values that may be tempting for a while but the sooner you junk them, the sooner your life's own luck begins to surface.

The right values pay the right dividends.


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12. Holding onto negative friends

Image: Let go off that negative friend
Photographs: Still from the TV show Girls

There are plenty of negative forces and people in the environment whose sole purpose is to bring our energies down.

Stay away from these irritants as negativity is very contagious and can slowly become your way of being.


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13. Subscribing to fads rather than values

Image: Find inner peace
Photographs: Abhishek Mande Bhot/Rediff.com

Fads come and go.

Holding on to them rather than your own intrinsic values can kill your unique self for life.


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14. Getting obsessed with luxury

Image: Don't make luxury your ultimate goal.
Photographs: Reuters

The world of materialism can swallow all of us in just a gulp!

So beware of getting used to too much luxury as it can soon begin to rule your sense of happiness.

Enjoy it without it taking over you.


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15. Being indifferent

Image: Stop being indifferent. Like now!
Photographs: Still from the TV show Hip Hip Hurray

Being carefree is different from being indifferent.

The subtle difference can define your personality as you grow into later age.

Prudence and far-sightedness are not such a bad thing after all.


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16. Enhancing appearance rather than character

Image: Don't focus too much on how you look!
Photographs: Hitesh Harisinghani/Rediff.com

It's great to look like a million bucks, but it's even greater to have an equally impressive character.

Inner fabric goes a long way in winning the trust and admiration from all.


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17. Thinking 'arrogance is cool'

Image: Arrogance is NOT cool. Period.
Photographs: Isaac Leedom/Creative Commons

Arrogance can never be a virtue.

This is a truth for all times to come.

To be arrogant is to sow the seeds of one's own ruin, without doing anything!

Plus it shuns people away as it makes for the least attractive personality.


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18. Regarding loyalty as old-fashioned

Image: Loyalty is a virtue
Photographs: Alex Kaiser/Creative Commons

Flitting from one job or relationship to another is a sign of lack of integrity.

For those who think loyalty is out of fashion, study the lives of great people and you'll know that loyalty was their most precious jewel.


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19. Spending without thinking

Image: Don't throw your money away!
Photographs: Bruce Evans/Creative Commons

So what if a premium brand offers you a 50 per cent off!?

Ask yourself if you really need it.

Spending mindlessly is the sure path to bankruptcy sooner or later.

Your earnings can be put to better and wiser use.


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20. Hoarding things rather than goodwill

Image: Don't hoard! Buy only something you want
Photographs: Dan Goorevitch/Creative Commons

We are living in an age where hoarding has become a national pastime.

So whether you need something or not, shopping has become a compulsive habit.

Try sharing instead.

And unload the burden!


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