'To Have Your Husband Beside You As A Pillar Is Most Important For A New Mother'

'Mental and physical health is very important as far as new mothers are concerned. You cannot ignore it.'

Sonnalli Seygall, who gave birth to her first child, Shukar, on November 27, describes motherhood as "the most wonderful feeling".

The Pyaar Ka Punchnama actor broke the news of her pregnancy on Instagram in August last year featuring her husband Ashesh L Sajnani and her tumefied belly.

Sonnalli says she is a "hands-on" mother to her little daughter. While being a new mom is hectic, she adds, her husband makes sure he looks after her emotional well-being.

New mothers, she says, must understand how nutrition and fitness can help them through their post-partum journey.

"I feel like a lot of mothers neglect themselves when once their child is born and that's not right because if you are going to sacrifice your happiness and your health, you're not going to be able to take good care of your baby," Sonnalli tells Mayur Sanap/Rediff.com.

How have you changed after becoming a mother?

My life is so hectic! I have my hands full and life has never been busier. It's been amazing. It's the most wonderful feeling and I can't stress on it enough. It's spectacular.

Shukar is such a lovely name. How did you decide on it for your daughter?

Actually, her father did (smiles).

There's a very interesting story behind it.

Ashesh has had these tattoos on his hand, spelling... Sabar(patience) and Shukar (gratitude) since many years now. Shukar was even part of my kaleera (worn on the wrists by brides in certain parts of India).

When we started looking for names, we found one we liked if our baby was a boy but we were still struggling to find one if our baby was a girl.

One day, Ashesh said, "How's Shukar?" I was like, "Oh my God, it's been right there in front of us and we didn't see it!"

Shukar is something to live by, gratitude every day... it's a good reminder.

Has your dressing style changed since you became a mother?

Comfort has become even more important.

I've always loved wearing comfortable clothing. But, now, comfortable and sustainable have become my mantra.

Earlier, I would wear synthetic because of my work. Right now, though, I'm only wearing cotton. Comfort is key because I have to be agile and I have to be present. It is important to wear clothes that easy and comfortable right now.

I'm not stepping out of the house for 45 days and that makes it easier; in fact, these days, I'm mostly in my night clothes at home.

As a new mom, you must have discovered that some things you were told were actually myths.

Oh yes.

Everyone tells you that your life will change completely and you have to sacrifice all your happiness once your child is born.

No, life doesn't have to come to a standstill.

Yes, life does change drastically, 360 degrees even, but it's a step up. You can still do the things you love. You just have to schedule it or maybe do it after a few days/weeks.

For example, I'm someone who loves to watch TV when I eat.

The last time I watched TV was on November 26; Shukar was born on November 27.

After that, I managed to watch TV a few weeks ago for literally just 10 minutes. I was like, wow, this is luxury. Then I heard her cry...

But my point is that you can still do that. Maybe it took me three weeks to do something that I love but you can still do that.

The other myth is that you have to stop taking care of yourself because, as a mother, everything needs to change about you. No, you can still bounce back. Take your time but do it.

Mental and physical health is very important as far as new mothers are concerned. You cannot ignore it. You cannot ignore the fact that you have to take care of your body.

I feel like a lot of mothers neglect themselves when once their child is born and that's not right because if you are going to sacrifice your happiness and your health, you're not going to be able to take good care of your baby. You can't pour from an empty cup.

What happy movies or shows would you recommend for new moms?

I love Christmas movies; they are happy and cheerful. For me right now, they are the light kind of watches that I like.

I would also like to recommend this documentary called Babies; it's on Netflix. It is amazing and I think all new parents should watch it.

It's about babies obviously as the name suggests and it's beautiful. You not only get to see super cute babies but also how they develop, what their rhythms in life are and things like that.

They say it takes a village to bring up a child. Who all are part of your village and how do they help?

Yeah, it really does. (Smiles)

I'm very blessed that I have a lot of house help. We've also got someone else to help me with taking care (of Shukar). Apart from that, I really like to be a hands-on mother.

I prefer giving Shukar a massage and bathing her myself. I try and do as much as I can because I feel it's a great bonding exercise.

I like to play with her.

I take her out in the sun. Actually no, Ashesh takes her out in the sun; that's his duty (smiles).

We have this beautiful garden so we can make use of it.

Our village is like this little family that we have.

Ashesh and I live on our own, but the grandparents -- my mom and Ashesh's mom and dad -- and my sisters-in-law visit.

In India, we really have that sort of a support system where everybody is willing to help and everybody is super involved, which is beautiful.

What kind of physical and emotional support do you expect from Ashesh? How successful has he been in helping you?

I feel the role of husbands is very, very important.

Initially, they may feel left out since they can't really be involved with the child so much because the mother is the only one attending the child, like feeding and all of that.

I feel like the more important role is to take care of the mother and Ashesh is doing exactly that. He's so supportive and very well aware.

There is a condition called postpartum depression and many mothers, including myself, face it. If you don't take care of postpartum blues, they can become severe and lead to depression.

He was very aware about it. And he's been very sensitive.

He checks on me and can see on my face that I've not slept for days or I'm tired or I'm exhausted. If there are too many people visiting, he will stand as a shield.

If I need rest, he doesn't care; they have to wait. He is really taking care of my emotions and is giving me exactly the kind of support I need at this point.

To have your husband beside you as a support, as a pillar is the most important thing for a new mother.

If that aspect of your life is sorted, you can give so much more to your child because you are in a better, healthy space. Ultimately, whatever the husband is doing for the mother is actually benefitting the child.

Pregnancy comes with its own challenges, one of which is putting on those extra kilos. What are some of the ways to safely shed postpartum weight?

One can't be in a hurry.

Many people don't know that your belly doesn't go in immediately; in fact, it kind of hangs.

A lot of mothers may feel, 'Oh my God, what has happened to my body?' I felt it too.

I had proper abs before pregnancy so, after three months of being pregnant, I was like what has happened to my body? It's a completely new body; it's not my body!

I'm easy on myself. I know that I'm going to have to give myself time to bounce back.

At the same time, one can't be lazy.

I haven't started working out as yet but I am doing very light breathing exercises. I think everyone should start with that. You can't just jump into a heavy workout.

Fortunately for me, I had a normal delivery so it's easier for me to resume my routine. But I understand that mothers who have to opt for a C-section need to give more time for their bodies to recover.

I'm also eating right. I'm not eating outside food at all.

Start working out whenever you're ready because, right now, nothing's more important than your sanity. I'm doing exactly that.

I'm thinking I'll start with light yoga and stretching. It is important because you're feeding all the time and your upper back and shoulders tend to get tense so do your stretches.

As far as the weight is concerned, you'll shed when you have to. There's no timeline. Someone can take six months, someone can take a year, someone can do it in two months. I don't think anyone should judge because everyone has their own pace.

Everyone's journey is different. Everyone's children are different. Some children are more demanding so the mother may take more time to bounce back.

All I'd like to tell mothers is: Don't put pressure on yourself.

You have been a parent for a few weeks now. What is one thing that you love and hate about it?

I love everything about it.

Hate is too strong a word but maybe my least favourite part is the sleepless nights. I think this is going to be a unanimous answer from all the mothers and there's nothing you can do about it.

It is like even if your child is wanting to sleep, you still have to wake her up and feed her every two hours.

If you were to choose one parenting mantra for yourself, what would it be?

Be easy and go with the flow.