You may have been forced into the marriage but it's just three weeks. Give it time, advises rediffGURU Anu Krishna, mind coach and relationship expert, while counselling a new bride.
Have you recently got married?
Are you struggling to get intimate with your partner?
Are your in-laws and parents interfering in your new relationship?
Most important, how do you start your life and communicate effectively with a life partner arranged by your parents?
rediffGURU Anu Krishna, a mind/life coach and NLP trainer with over 18 years of experience in helping people understand and solve their problems, is the co-founder of Unfear Changemakers.
She offers expert advice about how you can take charge of your life and relationships.
- You can post your questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE.
I have been married for more than three weeks. And I don't like my husband.
I didn't like him before the marriage and it was very clear to my family that I didn't like him. But my parents forced me to get married to him and it was my fault that I couldn't prioritise my feelings.
I considered what would happen to them if I called off the engagement.
And after being married I have been more than depressed.
My parents keeps telling what I should do. I don't let him touch me.
Since I don't like him I asked him for some time and on the second day he made a huge issue in my family telling them that I don't let him touch me. I started to resent him after this.
Everyone around me keeps on telling me that he will go abroad in two weeks so I should do whatever a wife does.
It's been three weeks and there are continuous arguments.
I'm so sad. I'm scared of what would happen if I leave this marriage.
I can't stay in my own family because they would treat me so bad. I would have to stay alone.
When I think about the uncertain future and consequences, I am not able to do anything.
I am stuck in this miserable situation.
Dear Anonymous, For sure, it's difficult to be physically intimate with someone who you do not fancy and he is being silly in making this public.
Rather than winning you over, he's making it a public issue to gain sympathy which is highly immature.
Now, I am going to give you an example that you may not like. Imagine, you have to live in Japan for two years and you do not like that cuisine.
Eventually, you realise that two years is a long time and then you actually start enjoying the food by looking at what's nice in it -- it's healthy, light, good for the heart, etc.
It's the same here.
You may have been forced into the marriage but it's just three weeks. Give it time.
NO, you do not have to engage in any physical intimacy with him right away; but at least try to get to know him. Maybe someday you might start to appreciate his good qualities, yeah?
See, if this is possible in the short time that you have.
It's just about having an open mind. Marriages are easy to break. Think hard on this one.
- Need expert advice to fix your relationship? Ask rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE.
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