Watch out for vague relationship statuses, reluctance to share personal details or a pattern of disappearing on weekends and holidays, warns Ravi Mittal, CEO, QuackQuack, an online dating website.
- Looking for dating advice? Ask rediffGURU Ravi Mittal HERE.
The online dating world is full of endless possibilities that can surprise you at every step of the way.
Have you dated someone who refused to meet you IRL?
Or talked to someone for days together only to realise that the person you are falling in love with is already committed to someone else?
While online dating can be an amazing way to meet new people and find a genuine connection, you must be aware of fraudsters, imposters and married men and women as well.
Here are five tips to keep yourself safe while keeping the excitement of online dating alive:
1. Scan the profile thoroughly
Before diving head-first into commitment and daydreaming about going for long vacations and posting 'couple pictures' with your match, make sure to comb through their profile and look for anything unusual with a keen eye.
For example: Do their pictures look too good? Almost as good as a stock image?
That should raise a red flag.
Even if it means nothing, it's always best to make a mountain out of a molehill when in the process of finding a partner to avoid any future regrets.
An incomplete profile and a vague bio should also tingle your Spidey senses.
If your match dodges basic questions that are not intrusive, like what they do for work or who's there in their family, it is best to tread with caution.
A quick cross-check on their social media can partially confirm if their life matches who they claim it to be.
2. Slow down
Even if the chemistry is off the charts and they say all the right things, it's always best to take things slow.
Be mindful of subtle signs that someone may not be as 'single' as they claim; this is applicable to all forms of dating, regardless of the mode.
Do not rush; get to know your match well before you start carving your name on a virtual tree.
Watch out for vague relationship statuses, reluctance to share personal details or a pattern of disappearing on weekends and holidays.
If they hesitate to agree on virtual dates, meet in public spaces or insist on keeping things discreet for longer than natural, it is safe to consider their actions as red flags.
It is not absolutely necessary that your match is 'not single' or hiding their relationship status but it can be one of the possible reasons for their suspicious behaviour.
Here are some other things to keep in mind:
- Do not hesitate to ask questions as long as you are not prying. Listen to their response. There's a lot to learn about people from how they respond.
- Check for inconsistencies. For example, they mentioned something about their family one day and, the next day, it's slightly different. It's not always necessary that they are lying but, again, it's best to identify the inconsistency and clarify it.
- Mystery schedule: If a match is constantly busy during the evenings, only free on work hours or weekdays and mysteriously vanishes on weekends -- there might be more to it than just a 'hectic schedule.'
- Additionally, if a match seems too pushy or impatient to meet offline, it is time to take a step back. Love at first text sounds perfect but it should not compromise on safety.
3. Virtual date, then IRL
One of the best ways to filter out any wrong match is to have a virtual first date before taking things to the real world; consider it a screening process.
Plus, keeping the interaction within an app until you are comfortable will add an extra layer of protection with in-built safety features and options to report any unwanted situation.
Suggest a casual virtual date. If they refuse, trust your instinct.
While it does not definitely mean they are scamming you, it is advisable to rethink a real-life meetup.
A virtual date does not only work as a safety check; it is also perfect for gauging their personality and checking if the real-life chemistry matches the one you have in texts.
4. Personal details are not up for discussion
It is natural to overshare with someone who seems to be a perfect match but control the urge.
Some personal information, like home and office address, financial details, etc, should be off the table till you have met a match in person and established solid trust.
If a match fishes for personal information and tries to drive the conversation toward finance, it is a big red flag.
Daters are also recommended to avoid sending personal photos prematurely.
Remember, keeping some elements of yourself a mystery will not only keep you safe but will also keep things fresh and exciting.
5. Social media cross-check
Most people are on social media and, after matching and chatting for a while, almost everyone shares their social media handles with each other.
If your match's social media presence is equivalent to a ghost town, it is better to keep your guard up till the matter is clarified.
It does not immediately translate to 'scammer alert'; there are those rare people who are still not on social media. But, still, it isn't abnormal to have your doubts about them.
Ask them directly and notice how they react and respond.
Also, if their social media accounts look like they were created yesterday, that should be more concerning.
Dating apps are safe and efficient. But that does not mean users should throw caution to the wind.
Staying vigilant will ensure that your dating experience remains as safe as it is fun.
- Looking for dating advice? Ask rediffGURU Ravi Mittal HERE.
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