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It may be tempting to draw parallels with other competitive children in the class.
Remember, comparison is the highest form of insult. Never do that to your child, warns rediffGURU Professor Suvasish Mukhopadhyay.
Based on my 34 years of teaching experience, I strongly believe that, along with students, parents need counselling too.
If parents are counselled in the correct manner, it will significantly help their child’s career in a positive way.
While competition is inevitable, I urge children and parents not to participate in the rat race.
I have put together a few pointers that will boost the mental health of our children and also improve the confidence of their parents.
1. Keep yourself updated about your child's academic progress
Whether your child is preparing for an exam, competitive or otherwise, it is important that you talk to her/him regularly about how they are progressing with their studies.
If both parents are working, each parent can take turns to sit with the child at the end of the day to know how s/he has added value to, and what s/he has learnt during, the day.
Even if your child is taking private coaching at home, do join in occasionally. You can set aside a few minutes every day to do this. There is no need to disturb their regular schedule.
2. Do not set unachievable targets
Children are often stressed because their targets are unachievable.
Intelligence, coupled with diligence and good decisions, produces the best result.
Do also remember that every child is different -- some are naturally brilliant.
It is unfair for parents to expect every child to deliver the same results.
3. Do not discuss failure too often
Constant discussions about the fear of failure may traumatise the child. For example, when you are driving a car, you must be careful but you cannot always worry about causing an accident.
Similarly, a student must not worry about failure and rejection.
Instead, you must talk to her/him in a way that that inspires her/him to clear the examination with good grades.
4. Ensure your child gets enough sleep
Children must sleep for at least seven hours per day.
Students who study for long hours during the day must take breaks and rest adequately at night.
If they cut down on their sleep, it will start affecting their daily activities and health.
Just like a plant needs both light and darkness to grow, a child has to go through the continuous cycle of hard work and rest to grow and function well.
5. Ensure your child is eating well
As parents, it is important to take proper care of a child's nutrition.
Putting her/him on a fat-rich or wrong diet can disturb her/his physical health and normal routine.
Healthy and timely meals play a significant role in a student’s overall development.
6. Avoid comparisons
It may be tempting for Indian parents to draw parallels with other competitive children in the class.
Remember, comparison is the highest form of insult. Never do that to your child.
If at all you want to use an example to inspire, let her/him compete with themselves. Ask yourself: Is your child performing better today than s/he did yesterday?
7. Make the right resources available
As parents, you must try and provide the best and updated resources available.
This can be in the form of guidebooks, question banks or a list of quick notes.
8. Avoid socialising just before the exam
The wedding season is upon us. However, if your son or daughter is preparing for an important exam, it would be wise to skip the event and extend an apology.
While taking breaks is advisable, attending a full-fledged event will affect the consistency of the child's preparation.
Similarly, parents can request relatives and friends to avoid visiting them or stay over for a longer duration because their presence will affect how the child is studying.
You can create a schedule where you can take your child out for a movie or visit a mall to refresh and reset.
9. Encourage smart work, not hard work
As parents you can explain the concept of smart study and guide them accordingly.
This strategy will help your child save time by focussing on the right chapters and tools of preparation.
10. Spend time with your child
It is not unusual for children to go for multiple tuitions and private coaching but parents must sit down and teach the child for at least half an hour twice a week.
You can explain a simple concept or help the child understand the solution to a problem s/he is struggling with. This will provide her/him with immense mental support.
The best thing parents can give their child is their time; unfortunately, this has become a rarity in modern life.
Putting your child in the best school and providing them with best tuition/coaching is not enough. Your timely involvement, as parents, will provide them with the support they need and ensure their mental health is not impacted.
