Stay firm yet respectful.
Over time, your parents will have to adjust, advises rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, founder of Let Us Talk Foundation, while counselling a young woman dealing with overprotective parents.
- You can post your questions to rediffGURU Kanchan Rai HERE.
Are you living with overprotective parents?
Does it bother you when your parents interfere with your life?
As you grow up, how do you establish healthy boundaries with parents and elders?
'Make them feel that you are still being responsible; at the same time, reclaim your space,' suggests rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation.
- You can post your questions to rediffGURU Kanchan Rai HERE.
Meanwhile, do check out Kanchan Rai's tips on how you can effectively communicate with overprotective parents who want to monitor your every move.
Anonymous: I am a 28-year-old female.
My parents are very over protective.
In a city like Mumbai, my job timings, including my arrival and departure, are monitored. I have been asked to keep my WhatsApp location on.
They always want to monitor my life and keep a check on my mobile phone and other movements.
Their behaviour has affected me mentally, and I want to break free from their clutches. I have tried all conversations to build their trust, but it's all in vain.
Please suggest how to get away from this situation by not breaking the ties and still get to enjoy my adulthood days.
Overprotective parenting often comes from a place of fear. But when it crosses into controlling behaviour, it can suffocate you emotionally.
Since conversations haven't helped build their trust, you may need to take a more gradual and strategic approach to gain your freedom.
One way is to slowly create boundaries without triggering their anxiety too much. If they demand to track your location, maybe start by saying your phone battery drains quickly so you'll only update them at certain times.
If they check your phone, you can put a password and say it's for security reasons as you have work-related or personal data you need to protect.
Make them feel that you are still being responsible; at the same time, reclaim your space.
A long-term solution would be to work towards financial and residential independence.
If moving out isn't an option right away, consider staying out more often with friends or taking trips that require you to be away for a few days. Show them that you can take care of yourself without anything going wrong.
If they see that nothing bad happens when you have more freedom, their grip may loosen over time.
It's also important to emotionally detach from their control.
They may always try to guilt-trip or pressure you, but if you stop reacting strongly to their monitoring, they will eventually lose interest in controlling every aspect of your life.
Stay firm yet respectful. Over time, they will have to adjust.
What's the biggest fear they have about letting you be independent?
If you can understand that, you might be able to address their concerns in a way that helps them ease up.
- You can post your questions to rediffGURU Kanchan Rai HERE
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