'My In-Laws Judge My Cooking Skills. Help!'

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March 18, 2025 10:06 IST

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Showing interest, praising you mother-in-law and actually learning a dish or two the way she makes it isn't going to hurt you or put a dent in your work life, advises rediffGURU Anu Krishna.

  • You can post your questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE.

Illustration: Dominic Xavier/Rediff.com

Are your in-laws constantly judging your cooking and cleaning skills?

Are family expectations causing tension at home?

How should you handle criticism from family members?

What is the best way to set clear boundaries without letting it affect your peace of mind?

rediffGURU Anu Krishna, the co-founder of Unfear Changemakers and a mind/life coach and NLP trainer with over 18 years of experience in helping people understand and solve their problems, can guide you.

  • You can post your questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE.

Anonymous: Dear Anu, My father-in-law dislikes my cooking.
My husband also feels I can learn a thing or two from my mother-in-law.
Honestly, I am not passionate about cooking or household chores.
I can make my tea, fold my clothes, keep my room organised. Beyond that I cannot contribute because I also have a day job.
I don't like being compared to other women who can cook, clean, do the dishes and also manage their work.
This conversation always leads to arguments at home. What should I do?

Dear Anonymous,

Integrate yourself well into the family; showing interest in cooking and actually doing it are two different things.

At times, family members just end up testing you through what you do or not do.

Showing interest, praising you mother-in-law and actually learning a dish or two the way she makes it isn't going to hurt you or put a dent in your work life. In fact, they will appreciate that you tried and leave you alone.

Going on a tangent to prove that you have a day job and that you don't like to be compared, etc, leads to unwanted conversations and arguments. But what is it getting you other than putting you in a spotlight where they target you again?

Instead take the spotlight off of you by integrating better; they will leave you alone and in fact even support you.

Right now, all this nagging is only to gain your attention and you are giving into it... Integrate!

All the best!

  • You can post your questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE.

Please Note: The questions and answers in this advisory are published to help the individual asking the question as well the large number of readers who read the same.

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