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The one-year ban could not waver her focus but Asian Games bronze-medallist boxer L Sarita Devi conceded that she did feel a moment of self-doubt while stepping into the ring for her comeback bout during the just-concluded training-cum-competition trip to China.
Sarita (60kg), who was banned for a year due to her emotional outburst at the Asian Games medal ceremony after losing a controversial semi-final bout, returned to the country from the Chinese city of Qian'an on Friday.
The Manipuri fought three bouts and won two of them during the competition which featured rivals from hosts China, Korea, Mongolia and Thailand.
"I have been competing for so many years but this was my first competition after the ban. So, when I went to the ring for my first fight against Mongolia's Sowoderden, I cannot deny that I was nervous.
"Somewhere in my heart, I did feel that could I do it like earlier? There was self-doubt but then it took me just a few seconds into the fight to get over it," Sarita told PTI in an interview.
"I had been preparing for this moment for the last three months and when I felt jittery, I told myself how hard I had worked to get back. That's how I fought the nervousness, which is natural when you are coming back," she said.
The former world champion and Glasgow Commonwealth Games silver-medallist had prepared for the comeback by training for a month in Liverpool.
"I had worked very hard to make sure that my punches had power. But during the competitions in China, I realised that I need to focus on my speed too.
The Mongolian girl I beat in the first bout is somebody I have fought almost eight times in my international career. This time, I realised that she had improved and I need to work on my speed because competitors will be younger and more agile when big events come along," said the 30-year-old.
Sarita said the biggest positive to be drawn from the China trip was the fact that Indian boxers got to train and compete in the arena, which will be hosting the Asian Olympic Qualifiers in March next year.
India had sent a 13-strong team of 10 men and three women for the event.
"We fought and trained at that same arena. So obviously, it would be helpful when we come here next year for the Olympic qualifiers. Familiarity with the venue is always helpful," she said.
After rigorously training for nearly four months now, Sarita says she plans to take a few days off to spend time with her children.
"After that, the national camp will begin in Delhi from December 13 and I will join it after the break. Then we could be going for another training-cum-competition invitational to Serbia in January but that's still not confirmed," she said.