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Batting and bawling

It’s tough to get exciting cricket when there is nothing at stake and both teams had a role to play in making this a forgettable cricket match.

And so it was that on the last day Tasmania, much to the annoyance of the Indians, continued to bat on. The bowlers were really only turning their arm over at this stage and doing a remarkable job of showing how much effort that involves. Oh, yes, they got a wicket too when Daniel Marsh, he of the famous father, found Rahul Dravid at deep mid-wicket off Vijay Bharadwaj. Dad would have been pleased with his 157.

He is only of medium height (do we now have to call that "vertically challenged"? And therefore, if a bowler bowls on the leg side with an off side field, is he "mentally challenged"?), but he is a strong man and on the evidence of this match, is a far better batsman than he is a bowler. You must be a brave man to choose to be a finger spinner in this country. Their last was Gavin Robertson, a lovely man, but before and after that tour of India, his status in a full strength New South Wales side is the same; on the bench. It is unlikely Marsh (jr) will pitch on leg and hit off.

Tasmania did declare, finally, a little after a drinks break that saw the Indian team sprawled on the rather impressive outfield. Only, they forgot to tell anyone about it! And so Shaun Young strode off, followed by his partner, while thirteen rather stunned people on the field wondered what to do next. We were delighted…at last something was happening here. Was this a walk out? Did the Indians sledge the locals to cause them to do this? Did the batsmen interpret a signal for "over" to be a signal for "lunch"? Did they suddenly realise they needed to be in coloured clothes? Or did Young spot the Chairman of the ACB (and the TCA) distributing Christmas goodies and decide he wanted to join in?

A couple of minutes later, the umpires invited the fielders to walk off and for want of another way to spend the next few minutes they did. And on his way out, the umpire was heard to mutter, "Either Young wanted to go to the loo or his captain has declared!"

The Indians did a reasonably good job of staying awake though later in the day Vijay Bharadwaj chose to demonstrate that Calmpose is his favourite millenium creation. He made 15 from 106 balls as Tasmania made 11 successive bowling changes. The wicketkeeper got the longest bowl after tea and the groundsman’s dog was barred on the grounds that he could not say "right arm over" in a manner that the umpires could understand.

VVS Laxman got a half century and some of those runs did come against good bowling. He will open at Melbourne and Kanitkar’s first innings half century might win him a number six slot. Prasad will bat at number seven but that is if the surgeon in Sydney who said he was fit to play in Adelaide, can now say he is fit to play in Melbourne before he shuts shop for Christmas.

But hang on, didn’t Prasad look fit enough in Adelaide? Hasn’t the team physio said he is fit? Too bad. We need a certificate from that man in Sydney who thought Prasad was fit twelve days ago. Does he need to see Prasad again? Oops…..but Prasad is going from Hobart to Melbourne……can he just fax a certificate again? Or can we put some Kores whitener and change the date on the original certificate? And send it along with some proof that it was indeed Prasad keeping wickets in the first Test?

Meanwhile, Mongia has just received the news, via the chairman of selectors, that his teammates didn’t want him in the first place.

It is a great party this….so what if the cricket was a bit of a drag.

Harsha Bhogle