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The only family Meghana lived with for 13 years after losing her parents and brother in the tsunami was her dog, Alex.
When Alex died, she took her ashes to where her own family lay under the ocean.
'I wanted her to join the rest of my family. That is one of the best things I have done.'
For someone who lost everything to water, Meghana Rajsekhar feels she has been chased by the sea all her life.
At 12, she lost her parents and brother to the 2004 tsunami.
Then she was caught in a super cyclone -- and has found herself in multiple situations where she has felt that the sea is there to just get her.
Yet, the sea that took away everything has also given her back -- it has brought some measure of healing from grief.
In 2018, fourteen years after the tsunami orphaned her, she found courage to return to the Car Nicobar islands where she had lived with her family at the air force station when the tsunami struck on December 26, 2004.
She miraculously survived by clinging on her bedroom door and was washed ashore the following day. The distraught child was handed over to the next of kin, and only came back to Carnic to look for the tribal man who rescued her when she was 28.
One of the things she carried with her on the plane were casurina seeds. The seeds were planted and have now grown into a thick cluster around the edge of the air force station, not far from where her father's residence used to be.
Meghana had come for a few days, but went on to stay in the island for three months in 2018. The days gave her a chance to grieve and deal with her incomparable loss that continues to this day.
On her way back, she went to the beautiful Neil and Havelock islands where she tried diving for the first time.
"I nearly drowned. It was a terrible experience, but I thought if I leave it, I probably will never go back to the water again," says Meghana, now 32.
She pursued it for a week and has never looked back. Every year since then, she has done a diving course in India or abroad and can do a breath-hold dive up to 32 metres deep.
"I like the idea of romanticising the ocean. Everything I have ever loved is in water."
"It is a big womb," she says.
Facing up to loss has been a long and arduous journey, but Meghana has walked the path as best as she can.
One of those who provided her comfort along the way was Alex, her dog for 13 years.
"She was quite literally the only family I lived with. Her loss was too harsh," says Meghana, an architect and deep-sea diver.
"As a kid I didn't really get to process the loss of my family, but as an adult you can contemplate and understand. To be able to grieve, to have the time and space for it is also a blessing."
"I wanted that opportunity and I took it when my dog, Alex passed. I thought I don't have to be in a lull about it ever again."
Meghana kept the dog's ashes in a pot with a garland of shells wrapped around it. When she came to Car Nicobar last December to attend the 20th remembrance of the tsunami, she brought the ashes along with her.
"I thought it would be very wholesome if I could introduce her to my family and drop her ashes in Car Nicobar," she says.
The ashes were immersed during a three-day Tsunami memorial swim organised by the Andaman and Nicobar Command. Meghana took special permission to participate and was the only girl in the group of 8 seasoned swimmers which included expedition head Group Captain Paramvir Singh. Before the swim, she did a puja at the Shiva temple and made offerings of flowers and rice to the sea.
After the team had finished their swim on day 1 with the permission of Group Captain Paranvir Singh she got off the ship and boarded another dinghy. She then dove into the water to immerse the ashes as the crew and team watched with the sun setting on the horizon.
"I wanted to leave her down because that is where the rest of my family was. I wanted her to join them and that is just one of the best things I have done."
She also did the ceremony in memory of the 111 who died on the Car Nicobar Air Force station that day.
"There is a memorial for them on land, but nobody had ventured into the sea to make an offering."
In that deeply emotional and private moment, Meghana found strength and comfort.
"I actually put in the effort in dealing with my grief, and it is all very genuine," says Meghana who has done underwater clean ups and worked among tribals in Car Nicobar.
She does a lot of art work related to water and is also planning to write a book on her experience. Shortly she is planning to start applying to universities to study marine biology.
"There is literally nothing that makes more sense to me than the sea," says Meghana.
"It is the origin of the origins and also my own origin."
Photographs curated by Manisha Kotian/Rediff.com
Feature Presentation: Aslam Hunani/Rediff.com