Seeing spouses negatively might be positive: Study

Seeing our spouses negatively might not be that bad. In fact, research has shown that viewing our spouses more negatively over time might even be, well, positive.

"As we age, and become closer and more comfortable with one another, it could be that we are more able to express ourselves to each other. In other words, its possible that negativity is a normal aspect of close relationships that include a great deal of daily contact," said Kira Birditt, a research fellow at the University of Michigan Institute for
Social Research.

According to the research at the University of Michigan, while our relationships with children and best friends tend to become less negative as we age, we are more likely to see our spouses as irritating and demanding.

However, "viewing our spouses more negatively over time may not be all bad. In fact, it may be positive," said Birditt.

The researcher said that the increases in negativity over time may be indicative of learned patterns of interaction, which have been reinforced and tend to persist over time.

"Interestingly, as relationships with spouses become more negative, relationships with children and friends appear to become less demanding and irritating over time," the research fellow stressed.

Those in their 20s and 30s reported having the most negative relationships overall. For all age groups, including adults in their 40s and 50s, the spousal relationship was seen as the most negative and it tended to increase in negativity over time.