Facebook Knew More About Me Than My Wife

Facebook turns 21 today, February 4.
Most early Facebookers have migrated to other social media platforms, but A Ganesh Nadar continues to live on Facebook as he notes 'Real life friends are really not welcome on Facebook as they know that last summer when you said you were in Belgium you were actually in Belgaum'.

Twenty-one years ago nobody in my village had heard about Facebook but they knew about the Internet and they knew Rediff.

I used to visit Mumbai frequently and when I traveled there I heard about this new site where you could find all your friends and poke them.

The best feature I liked was 'Poke'. So nice to see a message, 'Margaret poked you'.

In real life I could not imagine poking Margaret and not getting my eyes scratched out but here she was poking me.

I used to play poker on Facebook and later on chess.

I used to post a lot of pictures and then count the number of likes.

As the years rolled on many new features were added and some deleted.

I used to have a lot of photos on Facebook but now I can't find them.

On the other hand Facebook is always willing to sell me an album of my photos which was earlier free.

Obviously there is nothing like a free lunch or a free album.

As the years passed I could see fewer friends on Facebook and more ads.

My friends told me that all my Facebook friends could not see my status -- only a limited number could do so.

If you wanted everyone to see it you had to pay for it.

I started buying a lot of stuff on Facebook until one day I bought clothes for my 5-year-old grandson.

When I opened the packet I realised that it was meant for a new born baby. I had read 3 to 6 and presumed it was years, it was actually months :(.

A lot of heartache is openly expressed on Facebook and some people could even abuse you.

You fight with your girlfriend and she blocks you.

You create another identity very easily, you can have as many Facebook accounts as long as you have another email id.

Then your girlfriend blocks that too when she realises that it is you.

Then came along Twitter and my actress friend Ayesha Takia told me that she had been tweeting all day.

I reserved my sweet side for Facebook and my nasty side for Twitter. Then along came Elon Musk who threatened to ban me.

I immediately paid for a blue tick and Musk forgot all about banning me.

A few years ago I realised that Facebook knew more about me than my wife.

Like all I needed to do is make a phone call and the next day under 'People you may know' the name of the person who I called the previous day appeared.

Also, Mark Zuckerberg appeared to know where I was at all times.

If I googled a particular object then the next day I would get all the ads showing me what I had searched for the previous day.

I was a fervent reader, I used to carry a book on me at all times.

Facebook changed that, now I am on Facebook all the time and not reading any book.

I became less knowledgeable as I was not reading enough.

I used to spend a lot of time with my friends. Now I spend more time with my Facebook friends than with my real friends.

Real friends are really not welcome on Facebook as they know that the last summer when you said you were in Belgium you were actually in Belgaum.

As I was walking home recently I tripped and fell down.

My neighbour picked me up, not my real life friend or a Facebook friend.

As I limped towards my house, supported by my neighbour, I asked her, "Are you on Facebook?"

"I am on Instagram," she said, "you can follow me there."

Feature Presentation: Ashish Narsale/Rediff.com