I read in the papers a few days ago that the mayor of Palwal in Haryana has banned meat. That is good news for the vegetarians who found the thought of all that blood and gore revolting, but chilling for the butchers forced out of their livelihood. As a near vegetarian myself I find the concept of not eating animals pretty humane. I would have lauded the mayor had it not been for the fact that I'm convinced a vegetarian is severely handicapped to stay alive these days -- for instance, in the wake of a devastating famine. Let's take the example of China. A few thousand years ago, it seems, there was this huge famine and all vegetarian stuff dried up. So the people killed their livestock, and soon the supermarkets had to shut down -- there was no bread, milk and steaks left to sell. The only thing left for them to do was either eat each other, which being civilised they didn't, or start on insects and other creepy-crawly, which being smart they did. A fall-out of this indiscriminate choice of food is that one can actually start liking it. Therefore, here in Hong Kong you see dried cockroaches being sold to put in your tea. Good for colds, you are told. Turtles and snake blood heat the system and boost vitality. Pickled lizards are a delicacy, preserved mice and other rodents cool the liver, locusts are full of protein and slugs are delicious if one is not close-minded about the appearance. Now of course when this 'Staying Alive' campaign started there must have been some vegetarians who were close-minded about the appearance of their food and preferred to perish. I'm not sure any of us should choose this path, and therefore I will produce two scenes titled 'Dinner in the time of famine' to make us vegetarians see the seriousness of the situation. Scene 1: Meat-Eating Husband to Meat-Eating Wife. MEH: Hi honey, I'm home. MEW: Dinner's ready. MEH: Wow. Snake blood, mice entrails, locusts and lizard pickle. It's a feast! MEW: For dessert there's liver-cooling slug. Scene 2: Vegetable-Eating Husband to Vegetable-Eating Wife. VEH: Hi honey, I'm home. VEW: Did you bring the food? VEH: I dug and dug and finally came up with this dried twig. It only looks two years old. What's for dessert? VEW: The last of the cushion stuffing. It's a serious business all right. The mayor of Palwal is going to have to do some hard thinking. If he truly cares for vegetarians he will ban vegetables and force meat upon the residents. When the Great Famine comes -- as Nostradamus predicted it would -- it's going to be that much easier to swallow newly hatched cockroaches. Sujata Prakash is yet to take to lizards and cockroaches. Illustration: Uttam Ghosh Tell us what you think of this diary
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