Is there anyone on god's green earth and the heavens above who can beat me? I have the dubious honour of -- save a couple, and those were because they were delayed! -- missing all the flights I have been scheduled to travel on. I've gotten tired of defending myself to all those who know me. But then, since you guys out there on the e-world don't, I'll give it my best shot. It is not by design. At least not one that I have divined. Take the time I was to go on assignment to Bangalore recently. My flight was at 6.30 am. I was up all night. Insomniac tendencies apart, I was paranoid I'd miss the flight. So I was ready and out of my house at 5.10 am. Considering the airport is a 20-minute drive at peak hours, I thought I was well in time. We were about 15 minutes from the airport when a loud splat! rent the wide open road. My cab shuddered and coughed to a mortifying stop. At 5.15 am, which I consider dead of the night, with no vehicle nor sign of life in sight and a flight to catch, it was not the most auspicious of times to have a flat. I couldn't just sit inside or hang around waiting. I got out. Hauled my suitcase out of the trunk, threw myself into the forces of the night. The going was tough. You see, my cab had stalled at the incline of a flyover. I had to crest that, follow it down and then onward to the airport. The minute hand played a mocking game of tag with me. 5.30. 5.40. 5.50. The hour hand shifted slowly. 6.00. 6.10. A loud honk. A lorry in sight. Throwing caution to the winds, I flagged it. The driver stuck his head out. Looked at my suitcase and my dishevelled panic. Smiled patronisingly. Barked a command to his flunkey in the passenger seat, who shifted to the back. I clambered in. And was at the airport inside of five minutes. It did not help. It was 6.20 am. At the check-in counter, the staff laughed at my pleas. It was ridiculous, they said, that I could think I could board a flight 10 minutes away from departure. That was that. I finally caught a flight, after much pleading and sweet-talking late in the afternoon that day. Then there was the time I was to fly back with my colleagues from Bombay to Cochin for a conference. We were all to converge from around the country at Bombay. Then to Cochin. And I was at the airport well before time. Only, some of the correspondents' flight was delayed. And we were stranded. We did end up having a conference, though. Sat ourselves down in a circle and conferred at the scheduled time we were to have met in Cochin. Santa Cruz airport was witness to a rare sight. Have you been sent back from a plane halfway up the steps? I have. Calcutta. 6.10 am. A colleague and I had a meeting in Bombay at 11 am. We couldn't miss it. I had one foot on the steps when the airline person stopped me. "The flights are overbooked ma'am," he said, grimly. "But our tickets are confirmed!" I exclaimed. "Why would you issue a boarding pass when you don't have seats available?" "I understand, ma'am. I apologize," a more unapologetic voice I have yet to hear. "There's been a mistake. You'll have to catch the next flight. I'm sorry." I was turned out. But the day I spent in Calcutta with my friend was the most enjoyable I have had. Maybe it was to do with stealing moments out of time. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to get on a flight. On time. Without a minor heartbreak. Success (read getting on those flights) has always eluded me by a long whiff of a short breath. So is there on anyone who can beat me? Speak now or forever hold your peace. One of these days when Sita Menon does get on a flight "without a heartbreak", rest assured that we will let you know about it. Illustration: Uttam Ghosh Tell us what you think of this diary
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