So what do you do the day after you are laid off? Do you lie in bed longer than you ever have, resting your sense of utter emptiness? Do you daydream of the nice job that shall, of its own accord, find you presently? Do you put on a false sense of cheer to roof the yawning pit in your stomach, as you think of the dark days ahead? Do you dunk your head in cold water to help clear the cobwebs that are intent on stopping you from thinking of the next step? Is there a next step at all? Do you try meditation? Do you try reading? And having read a page-and-a-half, do you suddenly sit up realising you have registered nothing? Do you throw the book away in rage and switch on the TV... equally in vain? Do you think of the numerous youngsters who were laid off along with you? Do you empathise with their predicament? They, so ill-prepared to face this new reality, so much worse off than you. Or do you feel good that you are better off? In reality, are you? Do you call those youngsters, do you try to counsel them? Or do you simply leave them to their own devices -- after all, they can call you if they want to, can't they? Do you call a close friend? Or, knowing fully well that you will only end up misdirecting your anger at him, do you wisely decide not to? For how long can you keep your own company? Do you try positive thinking? After all, you are not at fault -- it's the economy, right? But who will believe you? Do you try writing, and then rewriting, your CV? How do you express in a couple of pages the living vibrancy of what you represent? Do you talk about the situation with your cousin who just calls so that he does not misunderstand your responses? Or do you merely hint that things are not well and leave it at that? Or maybe you hide it altogether, to ensure that you do not have to talk about it with all your relatives who are otherwise bound to call? Do you discuss it with family members? What of your carefully nurtured man-about-town image? Do you let your vulnerability show through? Do you call all the headhunters whom you have dealt with for recruiting, this time with a request that they find you a job? Do you call your friend who has just joined another firm to try for an interview there, knowing fully well that they will lowball you? (It is really surprising how die-hard British English spellers like us in the software industry, who intensely believe in the stabilising influence of time-honoured traditions, still fall prey to the insidious influence of the occasional Americanism.) Do you regret all the missed chances when you were too conscientious for your own good and refused perfectly meaningful offers simply in order to feel good about your own loyalty? How do you vent your rage at your former bosses, your fate? Do you exercise it off? Do you rant in frustration? Or do you quietly wipe a tear off as you put on a brave face for your dependants at home? Do you rue the shortsightedness that throws away perfectly good value in a careless act of economic stupidity? All the great work you did, now laid waste? What, if at all, do you do? You wonder. And then you know. You write a Diary. Good luck to you, Dileepan, in your quest... Illustration: Uttam Ghosh Tell us what you think of this diary Be part of an exciting venture! Write a Diary!
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