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Reeta Sinha |
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It's just a dream. It's not really time to wake up. That obnoxious sound was the door buzzer. Maybe Shekhar Suman has come to your home with a box of detergent and a trip for two to Thailand. Before you know it, you're lounging on the white sandy beaches of... bzzzzzzzzzzzzt! Aaargh. Whoever invented snooze alarms ought to be shot. What's the point of a snooze that lasts barely five minutes? I don't feel refreshed, I still don't want to wake up, I just don't want to get out of bed. The game continues. This time I try to hide so cracks of sunlight don't hit my face. If it's winter, I build a wall made of blankets and burrow myself under a pillow for good measure. It's still dark so I don't have to get up, right? Yeah, right. It's hopeless. Eventually I realise there's no stopping the worst part of my day -- morning. So, we change the game. Now it's called 'How Long Can I Stay In Bed And Still Make It To Work On Time?' I start negotiations and go through deals in a matter of seconds. If I skip breakfast, I can sleep another 10 minutes. Maybe we'll wear jeans today, that shaves a few minutes off of getting dressed. Do we really need to take another shower barely eight hours after the last one? I was sunbathing on a beach, for God's sake, not running a marathon in my dreams! Personal hygiene-guilt kicks in at this point and I drag myself out of bed. If I don't leave by 7.30, I'll be late for work. So what else is new? Technically speaking, I am on the premises around 8 am. But it takes 10 minutes to get my tea, because the only thing worse than morning is a morning without a hot cup of tea. Look, I think even researchers have started saying we all have different sleep needs. Some of you are bright and perky at sunrise. In my case, 'morning' is defined when I feel like getting out of bed, okay? If I had my way that would never, ever be before 10 am. I tell friends that I sleep my deepest and sweetest between 7 am and noon. "You're on your own if you try to reach me during that time frame. I may be alert, I may be rude, I may just ignore you." But, if the phone wakes me up, chances are I'm not going to let the person on the other end of the line off the hook. The other day, someone actually called at 8.30 on a Saturday morning. Do you think they will try that again? I doubt it. I spare no one. When I left home for college, 11.30 on Sunday mornings was the established time for my parents to phone. It still is. Yes, there are some days when my morning starts at 9 o'clock and other days, like the four years after college, when it was 11.15 am. Or, after a really good night, I may get up at one in the afternoon. I'll usually spend the rest of that day cursing myself for having wasted it until I remember I'm also a night owl. Tea at the Taj at 1 am? Hey, I'm your gal. But a morning jog at 7 am? Are you nuts?
I'm only half-kidding about my day-ly schedule. In this day and age, who has the luxury of sleeping in until noon? I have done my best over the years, but it's been a losing battle for the most part, with only occasional small victories. For example, in college, my dorm meal plan offered several options. I selected "lunch and dinner with weekend brunches." Only the seriously insane, I thought, would get up between 6 am and 9 am just to eat cold cereal or powdered eggs. Not only did I save my dad money, I also stored up sleep time that wasn't to come my way again any time soon. I scheduled all my classes after 10.30 am, but by the time I entered the real world of full-time employment and part-time graduate school, I was at work by 6.30 am. Let me say that again (because I have a hard time believing it myself now). I was at work by 6.30 in the morning. This meant I was awake at five so I could catch a bus by six. I must have been desperate or crazy. Or both! I don't think I could reach work now at such an ungodly hour, even if I was paid triple what I was making then. Come to think of it, I am making that much and I know I can't. In my previous two jobs, I was lucky if I reached the office at 9 am. Of course, I was still there at eight in the evening and in on weekends, so I think it balanced out in the long run. The sad thing is that once your body and mind have had such rude awakenings, things just aren't the same. Now, no matter what day of the week it is, my eyes open around 6.30 in the morning. Even if I want to sleep until noon, I can't. I drift in and out of dreamland until about 8.30 and then the mental weekend-to-do list starts to interfere. "Get up, there's so much to do, you only have two days at home..." On and on until I'm wide awake anyway. It doesn't get any better when I go to India on vacation. No plans, no crazy schedule, no commute, no work, nothing to do but relax. Sounds like slumber-heaven, right? Wrong. What is it with India? Isn't this the land of khao, peeyo, aaram karo? Oh yeah, lots of eating, drinking and lazing around all day. That's because they wake up so early!! Have you noticed what time Indians wake up? Every day? Even when they don't have to? Even on my birthday? My day, the one that is not supposed to start until noon? Sleep 'til noon in India? Dream on, Reeta. My grandfather in Allahabad wakes up at 5 am to meditate. My aunt in Lucknow wakes her sons at 5.30 am so that they can study before they leave for school. I don't know who to pity more... myself for sleeping on the cot next to her or the kids who couldn't have registered much in their groggy state. Then there's the aunt in Dehradun who washes clothes at 4.30 am and the doodhwala everywhere who rings the doorbell at 7 am. People, people, people! I'm on holiday here, okay? R & R... rest and relaxation, must I explain the concept? It doesn't work, you know. It's pointless to tell them again and again that I am not a lazy bum, that I am there on vacation, you know, to get away from the hectic pace of life here? They aren't convinced. Quite the opposite. If they see me still in bed (wide awake, who can sleep with morning racket of India?), I hear them talking (they don't even lower their voices around someone who is sleeping!) "Reeta to bas soti rehti hai, kya baat hai, vahan kaise kaam karti hogi?" It's enough to make me jump up and scream! "What do you mean all I do is sleep? There's nothing's wrong with me! It's 7 am. Normal people on vacation don't wake up at 7 am. Okay?" Whew. I feel better now. I might have felt better if I'd said it to my aunt on my birthday, though. For hours I'd lain awake listening to her discuss my sleep-habits with a cousin. Unable to take it any longer, my aunt pulled the covers off me and wished me with, "Happy birthday. Now get out of bed, or do you plan to sleep the whole day away?" Whole day? It was 7.30 in the morning! Anyway, I mustn't obsess over such things. If you can't change someone, change yourself, I say. If that isn't possible (and it isn't, when it comes to mornings and me), just figure out another way to get what you want. That's why I build in a sleep-day after trips to India. No one here asks me why I'm still sleeping after 20 hours. "Oh poor thing. She's been travelling for 25 hours too, you know." Yep, I can usually milk that one at work for about a week too. In India, for peaceful mornings that start late, I escape to a place like Goa. A small, no-frills (read, dirt-cheap) cottage on the beach, no alarm clock, no television, no doodhwala. Pitch black nights that are dead quiet except for a dog howling somewhere. And the cricket under the Godrej. And the woman next door throwing up, after a night of drinking, I presume. Okay, so even Paradise has its minor irritants.
If you're a morning person, most likely you're too tired to enjoy what I consider to be the best part of the day -- sunset. Yes, I'll leave sunrise surya worshipping to the likes of Amitabh Bachchan and Shah Rukh Khan at a gurukul somewhere in England. I guess being paid big Bollywood bucks could make even me do something that crazy. But, mix a glorious sunset in with water; a river, an ocean and I think some of you will give up those sunrises too. Throw in the moon and you have my definition of 'perfection.' Here's what I mean. Swaying palms and sea breezes at Vagator. An impromptu evening game of cricket or a sunset stroll on Baga Beach. Late evening on the banks of the Ganga at Paramarth Niketan in Rishikesh. An ocean or two away, there's the simultaneous sunset and moonrise in Monterey, California. A while back, a friend sent me a Garfield cartoon. Garfield says, "I'm short and I intend to stay that way." A few years earlier, a cousin gave me a Peanuts poster. It shows a drowsy Snoopy flopped over his doghouse saying "I think I'm allergic to morning." How well these two people know me. If they ever stop making sunsets and oceans, I may consider changing my ways. But, until that happens, "I'm allergic to mornings and I intend to stay that way."
Reeta Sinha steers clear of anyone who uses the greeting, "Good morning!"
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Too bad the rest of the world doesn't work on my schedule. Ever try going to the bank at 11 on a Saturday night? There's nothing but infomercials on television that late in the night in the US, if you don't have the premium cable channels. You can't play your music loud because some people actually sleep at night and, if you e-mail friends in India, you have to explain why you're up at 2 am. "No, I'm not an email addict, I just woke up 12 hours ago. I've got the whole day... I mean, night ahead of me."
Goa is one of those special places suited to we who are not morning people. The day there starts off re-e-a-l-ly slow and the pace doesn't pick up much afterwards. It's where no one cares if I breakfast at 11, take a lazy morning walk on the beach at noon and then nap the afternoon away, guilt-free. I wake up in time for a cuppa (or something stronger) and then head to the water's edge again for the highlight of the day.