ELECTIONS '98
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Déjà vu

A feeling of deja vu sets in when you observe the happenings in Bihar. A threat to dismiss the government. A threat to 'fast unto death.' Then the President says 'No!' Yawn...

And Clinton's ratings have gone up since the release of his testimony on National Television. Looks like most American have identified themselves with their beloved president.

There was a proposal for a port in Vadhavan, Dahanu, Gujarat. The environmentalists protested and the government relented. That's fine but the reason the environmentalists gave was extra-ordinary. It seems the port disregarded the CRZ regulation -- 'no construction within 500 metres of the high tide line.' But then what is the point of constructing a port 500 metres away from the sea? Search me.

The 'kill joy' Shiv Sena has put a tax on the 'Dandiya' dances in Bombay. It has given the fun-loving Bombay-ites -- or should I say Mumbaikers? -- one more reason not to vote for it in the next election.

The Maharashtra chief minister has said he cannot build houses for the slum dwellers nor can he supply drinking water to every village because there are no funds. Tsk... Tsk.... Tsk... Joshiji the art of governing means finding funds. Imagine a politician who doesn't know how to get his hands on money. Time to go home.

And while on Maharashtra -- where people can be let out of jail if Bal Thackerayji says so, much like a king of yesteryears... what happened to the law? The courts? And the IPC?

And if anybody arrests the great man, Bombay will go up in flames. In Bombay language they would call it 'Bap Ka Maal'. Just like in those days when the husband died they used to set the wife on fire. Now they are going to set even his property on fire. Now don't say it ain't his property. Remember ' Bap Ka Maal.'

Prime Minister Vajpayeeji goes to Rajasthan for an election rally in an Indian Air Force aircraft. Somebody objects that you can't use government planes for attending election rallies. The BJP will immediately announce 'we'll pay'. Three years from now a report will appear that the BJP owes the Air Force so many millions. Again a feeling of deja vu.

Two things are becoming regular in our country. Accidents on unmanned crossings, and rape. The Railways should appoint people at every crossing. I know this will add to the wage bill and the Railways will run at a loss. The Railways has never run on profit. So, what difference does it make? The bottom line is that human life is more important than profit line. As for rape, the only solution is public castration -- and let them bleed to death. If they don't die -- all the better.

And the person who is really hungry, he can surely fill his stomach without onions.

Whether its is Chidambaram, Manmohan Singh or Deve Gowda. I wonder why all ministers make more sense when they are out of office.

After the AIADMK it is now the turn of the Akali Dal to threaten to withdraw support. And Jayalalitha is going to spend five days in Delhi. Poor Vajpayeeji. The man should've stayed a little longer in Paris or New York.

In Tamil Nadu the caste clashes, have started again. Usually caste clashes start with stabbing of individuals and end up in rioting and looting. This time they've started with looting. Definitely planned with an eye on the law and order situation. Sad, that in the naked pursuit of power politicians pay scant respect to human life. Once the police withdraw, the revenge killings will start -- ie the actual caste clashes.

Sonia Gandhi has asked all Congressmen to revive the party. In Tamil Nadu her message has been misunderstood. Here the sole aim of TNCC president Tindivanam Ramamurthy seems to be 'Retrevial' of the TNCC property from the TMC.

Everybody is cribbing that China gets more FDI than India. The collapse of the South East Asian Tigers obviously hasn't taught us a lesson. When the FDI starts moving in the opposite direction, all hell will break loose. We should be thankful that we are getting so little FDI.

The VHP has asked all foreign missionaries to leave the country. 'If they had balls' as the Godfather would say they would target the 'foreign mecernaries' in Kashmir. And if the forward caste Hindus treated their lesser brethren like human beings they wouldn't convert to Islam, Buddism or Christianity. The simple fact of course will not dawn on the VHP or Bajrang Dal.

While on Kashmir, India-Pakistan talks are a sheer waste of time, money and energy. As long as there is a proxy war on in Kashmir -- one cannot trust the Pakistanis. And if the Pakistanis trust Indian politicians -- they must be out of their minds. And where there is no trust -- talks are pointless.

In Gujarat -- school calendars have pictures of Vajpayee, Advani, Kesubhai Patel and Mrs Anandiben Patel. Why are they trying to scare school children?

The computer major Hewlett Packard has come out with a calendar that starts in August '98 and ends in July '99. So the next one will obviously beat the YZK problem. Also shows that if you have money, you can decide when your year begins and when it ends.

And I always wondered how we would solve our population problems. Looks like AIDS has come to rescue us.

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