The 10 WORST Saif Ali Khan Films

The reviews are out, and both director Tigmanshu Dhulia and leading man Saif Ali Khan are being bodyslammed by critics for Bullet Raja.

The new film is certainly not the first Saif disaster, though, and far from being the worst.

Here, just to make you cringe at the memories, is my list of Saif’s most colossal cinematic failures.

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One of the basic benchmarks for a film is to see how much time and effort the producers put into the right casting.

In the case of this Deepak Shivdasani drama, for example, Raza Murad plays a judge with Suniel Shetty and Saif Ali Khan as his sons.

The defence rests, even without pointing to Robin Bhatt’s awful script.

Saif didn’t have top billing in this monstrosity, that honour going to the always-unwatchable Aditya Pancholi.

That should pretty much say it all, but this cringeworthy mess of cliche -- directed by Dayal Nihalani -- typifies all that was wrong with Hindi cinema in the mid-1990s.

It’s embarrassingly bad, and I bet Saif agrees.

If you thought director Sriram Raghavan deserved applause for casting Saif in a negative role with Ek Hasina Thi, well, hold that thought: Vikram Bhatt got there first, and made Khan play a don in this awful, awful film.

Khan was nowhere near gangster enough, his feebleness even apparent in the film’s poster. 

Lawrence D’Souza directed this love triangle with Madhuri Dixit, Akshay Kumar and Saif, and while the actors appear to be valiantly trying to be earnest in a few scenes, the rest of the film makes it clear that they’ve given up on the atrocious script.

I dare you to sit through this film in one go. 

Also known as The Sooraj Barjatya Film That Was So Mindnumbingly Boring That The Actors Decided To Go Kill Some Animals Instead, this melodramatic family-heavy mess proved to take quite a toll on its massive cast.

More people ended up acting in the film than actually watching it.

In his quest to work with successful directors, Khan often clambered onto blockbuster bandwagons — except he did it crucially late.

Just like he hoped to capture Hum Aapke Hain Koun sized success with Barjatya’s Hum Saath Saath Hain, he thought JP Dutta could do another Border with LOC.

LOC Kargil, ladies and gents, which is 255 minutes long and which should have been 240 minutes shorter.

Aargh.

Right from Jaaved Jaaferi mispronouncing Michael Schumacher’s name, it was clear this racing-car movie was going to be a travesty.

And so it was, a take on Will Ferrell’s hilarious Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby that chose to suck out the humour and play the spoofy story sans irony.

And don’t even get me started on Khan’s self-conscious hamming.

Between Rani Mukerji bouncing around as a relentlessly Punjabi angel and Ameesha Patel constantly gunning for a wardrobe malfunction -- all while director Kunal Kohli thought he was making Mary Poppins -- there wasn’t much for Saif to do here except look constipated.

Which he did like any self-respecting method actor would, possibly in consequence of not chewing over the script before he signed on.

No matter how big a Saif-fan you may be, it’s hard not to admit that his voice isn’t his strongest suit. Sure, he uses it better now and it isn’t the nasal whine it once used to be, but still.

Everything about Disney’s foray into Indian animation (in partnership with Yash Raj Films, by the way) was ill-advised, and so Khan came aboard as the titular Romeo in a film with neither bark nor bite. 

It’s all very well to cast against type, but the Nawab Of Pataudi isn’t the best choice to play a backward-caste Dalit -- and it’s not (just) because of his acting range.

Casting a high-profile blueblood in the role of a downtrodden Dalit in a film about discrimination is very problematic indeed, and would have been a huge talking point if only Prakash Jha had made a film that was any good. 

As it stands, Aarakshan isn’t even worth discussing.