Sukanya Verma in Mumbai
Sukanya Verma looks back at the year 2013, and lists the worst Hindi films that came out.
Butchered classics.
Repulsive humour.
Bollywood’s best actors reduced to duds in moronic fare.
Films so irredeemably bad, they’re actually, well, just that.
If suffering them once isn’t torturous enough, year-end specials call on to revisit those appalling memories by listing the worst movies of 2013. And here they are:
Besharam
Just when you thought the Kapoor prince can do no wrong, he (and family) come together for this Abhinav Kashyap abomination, which embarrasses their collective talent in a manner most brutal.
Ranbir and his parents Rishi and Neetu Kapoor’s first outing together deserved better than this instantly disposable script and its dross humour. And so did the ticket-paying audience.
.
Grand Masti
Call it ribald or raunchy, Grand Masti is mostly just cringe inducing fare that stoops ceaselessly for effect.
More than the awful performances and a cheesy storyline, it’s disgusting to witness its demeaning treatment of women.
Himmatwala
After sitting through the original, I sure didn’t have any expectations from Sajid Khan’s Himmatwala.
That doesn’t mean I was prepared to watch Paresh Rawal nibble Mahesh Manjrekar’s ear, Ajay Devgn trying to emulate Jumping Jack, Tammanah squealing I hate Gareebs or dialogues like ‘Aaj ek maa ek bete ke pair chuyegi.’
Yamla Pagla Deewana 2
You know you’re in for a really lousy time when its one leading man spends most of the film’s duration on the porch drinking whisky with an orangutan, the other struts around with a Salman Khan cut-out to get noticed and the third one delivers the loudest scream in Bollywood history.
Yamla Pagla Deewana, phew.
Policegiri
Some films are so loud, they should make it mandatory for theatres to hand the spectators a pair of ear plugs like 3D glasses.
Policegiri is one such ear-splitting exercise.
Sanjay Dutt looks much too haggard, dull and dispassionate to work this rehash of Tamil hit, Saamy that pits against the poster boy of this genre, Prakash Raj and his grating punch line -- Sur Mohammad Rafi ka hai ki nahi power Mohammad Ali ka hai.
R...Rajkumar
Speaking of poster boys, can the poster girl of this North-South remix be far behind?
Sonakshi Sinha single-handedly demolishes the serene memories of Lootera to team up with Shahid Kapoor and Sonu Sood for Prabhu Dheva’s leave your brains/bones/bucks at home brand of baloney bearing an equally rubbish title, R...Rajkumar.
A hackneyed plot ranks among its least offensive crimes given what this over-the-top junk -- with its line up of endless gore and pelvic thrusts -- has to offer.
Chashme Baddoor
David Dhawan acquires rights of Sai Paranjpye’s light-hearted gem but COMPLETELY misses the point in this cruel joke of a remake.
What’s most unforgivable though is the extent to which he dumbs it down. The sweet tone of the original is replaced by humour that’s so seedy, oh it’s too heart breaking to discuss this any further.
Let’s just say, there’s a reason why you see a ‘bad’ in the new one’s title.
Zila Ghaziabad
People beat each other up.
Talk violently.
Deafening background music.
Then some more people pop in and beat each other up.
Talk violently.
Deafening background music.
Repeat.
Insert a couple of bawdy item songs.
And that sums up 143 obnoxious minutes of Zila Ghaziabad.
Zanjeer
Zanjeer may not be the best film of Amitabh Bachchan’s career but its intensity is unforgettable for obvious reasons.
Its remake is unforgettable too. Like how most things horrifying, nightmarish and appalling are.
It scores a steady zero in every single department the original flourished be it acting, direction, writing, background score or songs.
Jackpot
What can one say about a movie where Naseeruddin Shah’s dreadlocks are the coolest thing about it?
Forget any signs of zip or edge, Kaizad Gustaad’s post-Boom offering is much too convoluted and clueless to exploit Shah’s talents, justify Sunny Leone’s presence or conceal Sachin Joshi’s limitations.
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