Print this article

The Worst Performers of Bollywood in 2011

Last updated on: January 3, 2012 11:05 IST

Raja Sen lists the 10 things that did not work in the movies in 2011.

I've spoken about the year's best -- from Directors to Actors, Actresses and Soundtracks, and even how the year belonged to the Big Players in the industry -- but now it's time to look at what didn't work, at all.

Instead of another worst actors and actresses list, I thought it might be fun to take a look at the year's inanimate failures, 10 things that not just refused to do their job but proved too groanworthy to overlook. Enjoy.

Ram Gopal Varma's camera in Not A Love Story

Voyeuristic enough to make the Bigg Boss producers blush, RGV's camera snaked around the poor Mahie Gill in this hideous looking film, looking down her top and sneaking up her kurta in its unfortunate and ceaseless attempts at titillation. Tastelessness aside, this was a remarkably ugly piece of work.

Also read: The review of Not A Love Story

The moustache in Mausam

Last updated on: January 3, 2012 11:05 IST

Consider the evidence. Young, freshly plucked Shahid Kapoor, warm and energetic and entertaining, even effervescent.

Then enters the moustache, and Kapoor, as if his lips are weighed down, turns into a stuck-up frowner, too busy sucking his cheeks in to actually act or tell his girl he loves her.

Nope, not everyone can handle a big mouch, son.

Also read: The review of Mausam

Prakash Jha's 'message' in Aarakshan

Last updated on: January 3, 2012 11:05 IST

The kurta-clad director-politician went on promoting Aarakshan as this film about the reservation issue, about a film that stirs up a debate and brings to light questions previously unasked.

What it turned out to be -- once characters posed the predictable, obligatory is-reservation-good-or-bad questions we saw in the trailer -- was a hacky story of a sobbing principal.

Also read: The review of Aarakshan

Ranveer Singh's wardrobe department in Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl

Last updated on: January 3, 2012 11:05 IST

What we liked about Ranveer Singh in 2010's Band Baaja Baaraat was the jagged edge to him, the fact that he wasn't another cookie-cutter hero and seemed to have some texture.

Here, he was buffed to boring perfection and became yet another dispensable hero walking around in shirts open till his navel. Hrithik-lite? Yeah, right.

Also read: The review of Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl

Shah Rukh Khan's item song in Always Kabhi Kabhi

Last updated on: January 3, 2012 11:05 IST

Shah Rukh Khan in an item song in Always Kabhi Kabhi

It is probably sound business sense for an actor-producer to throw himself into a song for his film, but, like Aamir Khan did so well in Delhi Belly, SRK might have read the words.

A 'they don't really care about us' style song talking about how the older generation doesn't quite get generation Y lingo sounds creepy coming from a man past his mid-40s.

And to make matters worse, the song plays during the end credits, ten seconds after it's already bored us in the climax.

Also read: The review of Always Kabhi Kabhi

Asin in Ready

Last updated on: January 3, 2012 11:05 IST

Because this is a list of inanimate objects. Even if they can make faces.

The background score in The Dirty Picture

Last updated on: January 3, 2012 11:05 IST

Don't get me wrong, I dug the 'a-ha!' and the 'ooh-la's the first time I heard them and I understand the need to make this a crassly commercial picture in every way, but as a friend recently pointed out, the background score inexplicably and constantly pays homage to Hans Zimmer, stealing music from The Dark Knight, Inception and several others.

Or did we just not get that The Dirty Picture was one long and wet dream sequence?

Also read: The review of The Dirty Picture

People who thought up roles for Omi Vaidya

Last updated on: January 3, 2012 11:05 IST

Playing Chatur Ramalingam in 3 Idiots won Omi Vaidya many a fan, but most would have been disappointed to see the humdrum way in which Vaidya's being treated by Bollywood.

Trying to exploit his hapless-geek image to the maximum, Vaidya -- who appeared in two unwatchable films, Dil Toh Bachcha Hai Ji and Desi Boyz in 2011 -- was turned into a caricature so annoying it feels offensive.

Also read: The review of Dil Toh Bachcha Hai Ji

Prateik Babbar's voice in Dum Maro Dum

Last updated on: January 3, 2012 11:05 IST

I get it, you know. I get that he was supposed to play a teenager, and needed to sound a bit nasal. Or like his voice hadn't cracked yet, even. Except I do believe he wasn't playing a girl.

Sounding like a particularly whiny high-school girl, Babbar undid a lot of his Dhobi Ghat cred in Dum Maro Dum, and the fact that the role needed him to cry a lot didn't help things much.

Also read: The review of Dum Maro Dum

The poster designer of Force

Last updated on: January 3, 2012 11:05 IST

What the hell, man? We regularly see hideous posters every year, but this bizarre monstrosity needs to be singled out and ripped apart.

A very buff John Abraham wears a monkey cap and Aviator sunglasses and has a gun tucked into precariously lowslung jeans. And that would be ho-hum were the gun not pointing straight between his own legs.