Hollywood's creative bankruptcy has never seemed quite so evident. This is a year full of sequels, and here are twenty -- yup, we said twenty -- we could think of.
Some we're really looking forward to, while some others just look like painful franchises past their prime. But they are all sequels nonetheless. Check them out:
Pirates Of The Caribbean 4
Pros: Penelope Cruz as Blackbeard's daughter, Ian McShane as Blackbeard, and we can always do with Jack Sparrow.
Cons: More of the series even after that disastrous Pirates 3? Gulp.
Hangover 2
Image: A scene from Hangover 2Pros: Galifianakis, baby. Todd Philips' uproarious original and Due Date just prepped up for a Zach attach. We've loved him in Bored To Death, and can't wait for him to be the bizarre Alan Garner again.
Cons: Too much of a good thing? The Hangover was a blast but a tad too long, and we just hope the sequel doesn't overstay its welcome.
Sherlock Holmes 2
Image: A scene from Sherlock Holmes 2Pros: Bob Downey Jr in top form. And then there's Brad Pitt, possibly coming in as the nefarious Dr Moriarty, Holmes' archenemy.
Cons: The first was an occasionally fun but regrettably silly film, and the second might not be much smarter.
Mission Impossible 4
Image: Tom CruisePros: Lakhan shows Tom Cruise how to jhakaas it up! Our very own Anil Kapoor stars in this time's installment, which is reason enough to wait for it.
Also, it's the live-action debut for director Brad Bird, maker of animated aces like The Incredibles and The Iron Giant.
Cons: Remember the last M:I movie? We wish we could forget.
Zombieland 2
Image: A scene from ZombielandPros: The first was a smash, and after The Social Network, we'd eat up anything with Jesse Eisenberg. Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone and the crew are all attached to return, so this sequel could build on the original. And they're already searching for a new superstar cameo to match the original's great Bill Murray scene.
Cons: They haven't written it yet. They're planning to have a shooting script ready this summer, though.
Cars 2
Image: A poster of Cars 2Pros: John Lasseter returns and so does the great voice cast of Pixar's original, with Michael Caine hopping aboard as Finn McMissile, an Aston Martin DB5 who obviously plays a secret agent.
Cons: Perhaps the most niche of Pixar's offerings, the only boy-movie franchise out there.
Kung Fu Panda 2: The Kaboom of Doom
Image: A poster of Kung Fu Panda 2: The Kaboom of DoomPros: Po the Panda proved to be an unlikely, awesome hero, and now his Kung Fu gang joins forces with one more. Major new voice talents coming up this time include Jean Claude Van Damme, Harry Shearer and Gary Oldman.
Cons: Jack Black overdose? Gulliver's Travels was such a pain.
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows 2
Image: A scene from Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows 2Pros: Fanboys and fangirls around the world can't wait to see the conclusion to Harry's longdrawn battle finally come to an end in this 8th film. The characters have grown up, and the effects look spectacular.
Cons: Well, it all ends. At least until JK Rowling decides to start writing prequels.
A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas
Image: A poster of A Very Harold and Kumar ChristmasPros: Harold. Kumar. Neil Patrick Harris. And this time the stoners are in 3D!
Cons: Well, let's face it, that last Guantanamo Bay thing was rubbish.
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
Image: A poster of Transformers: Dark Of The MoonPros: Loud noises? Much will go boom as Michael Bay finishes off his Tranformers trilogy.
Cons: No more Megan Fox, the popular pin-up girl being replaced by English model Rosie Huntington-Whitely. This might not be such a bad deal, actually.
Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn part 1
Image: A scene from Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn part 1Pros: The teenage world's best loved vampires go to Rio De Janeiro, and Edward finally makes Bella an immortal.
Cons: More Twilight? Really? Marriage and childbirth are issues even for the undead, as all hell breaks loose as soon as the Cullens have a daughter.
Happy Feet 2
Image: A poster of Happy Feet 2Pros: New characters! Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Hank Azaria and Sofia Vergara are all set to join returning castmembers Elijah Wood and Robin Williams.
Cons: Do those dance-happy penguins really have something new to say?
Scream 4
Image: A poster of Scream 4Pros: The pretty Alison Brie joins the cast, with returning franchise members Neve Campbell, David Arquette and Courteney Cox. And Wes Craven is still at the helm.
Cons: Strictly for those who still believe Craven can do no wrong. Which means about two dozen people, at last count.
The Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
Image: A poster of The Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick RulesPros: That Zachary Gordon's kinda cute, gotta admit.
Cons: Jeff Kinney's lovingly doodled book didn't translate well on screen at all the first time around, and this sequel just looks scarier. Even Chloe Moretz has jumped ship.
Paranormal Activity 3
Image: A poster of Paranormal Activity 3Pros: Yet more haunted hidden-camera shenanigans.
Cons: The first was great, but as the second showed, the same trick gets old pretty quick. Will the third bring something truly original to the mix? Doubtful.
Final Destination 5
Image: A scene from Final Destination 5Pros: At least you know what to expect: a group of horny youngsters being slaughtered in elaborate ways as Death comes after them.
Cons: The films are getting more and more tiresome. One reason to avoid this one is actor Tony Todd's threat that the success of this one will mean shooting FD6 and FD7 back to back. Groan.
Spy Kids 4: All The Time In The World
Image: A scene from Spy Kids 3-D: Game OverPros: Still directed by Robert Rodriguez. Plus Joel McHale, Jeremy Piven and Tony Shalhoub, three of the coolest men on TV right now. And lets not forget Antonio Banderas.
Cons: Spy Kids 3 sounded okay too, but only on paper. Ugh.
Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son
Image: A poster of Big Mommas: Like Father Like SonPros: It'll probably not hit theatres close to you, and if it does, it shouldn't be around too long.
Cons: More Martin Lawrence in drag? Anybody still excited by the prospect of this third film should really consider therapy.
Fast Five
Image: A poster of Fast FivePros: Fifth in the Fast And The Furious franchise, this one's directed by Justin Lin -- who does such fine work on Community episodes -- at the helm. Also, Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and Dwayne Johnson are all aboard.
Cons: This time there's some convoluted cops-versus-corrupt setup, which means more than just bad actors racing cars, there'll be bad actors racing cars and pretending to act. Sigh.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked
Image: A poster of Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-WreckedPros: Singing and dancing chipmunks, in 3D! Wait, is that a good thing?
Cons: Possibly one of the stupidest films you can send your children to watch.
Comment
article