'We Sometimes Underestimate Our Parents'

'But when we actually express ourselves, sometimes our parents can surprise us, because they just love their children.'
'Sometimes it's just that simple. That is what I wanted to show in this film.'

For the past many years the Sundance Film Festival has been recognising Indian cinema, from narrative films (Girls Will Be Girls, 2024) to documentaries -- some that have gone on to receive Oscar nominations (Writing with Fire, 2021 and All That Breathes, 2022).

This year for the first time Sundance programmed a Marathi language film Sabar Bonda (Cactus Pears), that explores same sex love between Anand (Bhushaan Manoj), a man working in Mumbai, and his childhood friend Balya (Suraaj Suman), a farmer in a village in Maharashtra.

Director Rohan Parashuram Kanawade's debut film is a quiet, heartwarming tale of two men who give comfort to each other during a 10-day mourning period, and their parents who accept their sexuality without creating complications.

Kanawade has previously directed a couple of short films -- U for Usha and Khidkee.

U for Usha was Kanawade's first exploration of the LGBTQ narrative where a single mother in a village finds herself drawn to a female school teacher.

Sabar Bonda has a number of producers attached to it including actor Jim Sarbh, music composer Naren Chandavarkar and film colorist Sidharth Meer.

London-based Neeraj Churi is the film's lead producer. MPM Premium, based in Paris has signed up as the international sales agent for the film, ensuring its festival run and also theatrical distribution.

Aseem Chhabra spoke to Kanawade and Churi about the making of the film and their hopes for the film's post-Sundance festival screenings just before Sabar Bonda won the World Cinema Grand Jury Prize: Dramatic at Sundance.

Rohan, you have said the film is inspired by your own personal story. I understand there was pressure on you to get married and it's really beautiful how your parents were so understanding about your sexuality.
But how easy or challenging was it when you brought your own story to the screen?

Rohan: Writing this story was actually reimagining the whole experience of grieving my father's death in 2016.

When I was in his village, I was trying to find escape from the house. That's when I thought, what if I had a friend over there who knew about me and I could just sneak out for a while the way Anand does with Balya?

I thought of exploring this idea and make that whole journey of 10 days a little tender and warm for the central character.

Actually 90% of the film is complete fiction. Only the setup of the mourning ritual and the family background of Anand is from my life. But the romance drama, everything is fiction.

But still putting some of your personal story on paper, how was that experience?

Rohan: I used some of my experience because I wanted to tell this story from my gaze and how I experienced queer life in the city, as compared to whenever I was in the village.

I had stopped going to my village since the 10th standard because even then everyone would talk about my marriage.

So I wanted to use my experiences, to normalise queerness, the way my father and my mother accepted my sexuality, it felt so normal for them, because there was no drama.

When I came out to my father in 2013, he instantly said you know about yourself, that's most important. That's what I used in the film. Even Anand says the same thing to Balya.

I had this impression of the coming out stories that I had heard before, and I was so scared.

My father couldn't finish his schooling. My mother is illiterate, and Usha's story (from his short film U for Usha) was inspired from my mom's story.

When she got married in the city, my father taught her to write her name, and that's when she practiced. Since then, she's been writing her name.

When I told her about my sexuality, she accepted me without any problem. I know for some people there is a struggle. But there is this other aspect also wheresome people are accepted, even when they arefrom the economically lower-class strata.

I know two people from rural areas where their parents accepted their sexuality without any problems.

I thought why don't we see these stories? When we start from these stories, that's when we will change and start feeling it normalising.

You talked about life in rural and lower income background, as opposed to queer life in urban areas. Tell me little bit more about that.
Why do you think things are easier in rural areas sometimes, as compared to bigger cities?

Rohan: I don't think it's easier. I think in both areas there are some positive stories and there arestories of struggle.

But when I was talking to some of the guys while I was writing this script I realized that most people had not imagined that two men could stay together. For them being gay meant two men having sex.

Which is what you show in the beginning of the film when a guy comes on the motorcycle to have sex with Balya.

Rohan: Yes. But now there are some guys who have that exposure and awareness.

One guy -- he's actually from the same area where we shot the film -- would say to me that he was scared.

He had told his sister and Jeeju, but he was worried his parents wouldn't accept him. He went home one Diwali and he was very depressed.

When his parents asked why he was so sad he told them that they had been pressurising him to get married for a long time. But he didn't want to get married. And he told them about his sexuality.

His parents response was "We don't understand what all of this is, but if you don't want to get married, you don't like girls, it's fine. We will not pressurise you anymore."

We sometimes underestimate our parents. But when we actually express ourselves, sometimes our parents can surprise us, because they just love their children. Sometimes it's just that simple. That is what I wanted to show in this film.

Neeraj: If I may add, it's also a Catch 22 situation right?

Since we don't hear stories like this, there is nothing look up to. And since there's nothing for people to look up to, stories like these don't get made.

It was a risk in that we put the story outside the confines of a big city, which is where most of LGBTQ stories are shown, closer to the Western way of lifestyle.

The fact that this story is so rooted in our own culture, in a village, with day-to-day routines, we hope that this inspires people to understand that there is a possibility and it helps us break that cycle of sorts.

Rohan, I believe it was hard for you to find the two main actors. You finally found two theatre actors. There are very quiet, very beautiful and tender in the intimate moments. And there is also a little bit of nudity. How did you get them to do it?
Because I know, nudity is something which is very tough, especially for actors who have not never done something like it before. And they were out in the open area. It was not like the scene was shot in a room.
How did you get that naturalism in their performance?

Rohan: As you say I was going for naturalism. That scene was already in the script in detail. Whoever would read it, they would know about it. There was no hiding it.

We have often seen two men fighting with each other, the toxic masculinity that many films show. But I wanted to show that two men can also be tender with each other.

Showing them having sex was not important, but having them lie in each other's arms, looking into each other's eyes, that was important for me.

I had told my casting director, whenever you call actors for this film, tell them everything. Tell them there's going to be nudity. Because I didn't want it to become a problem later.

Only if they were okay, then they could come for the audition. Actually very few people came for the audition. And on top of that, for Balya I wanted an actor from that region because his language, accent and look was important.

If people wouldn't believe that the person was born and raised in the village, everything would collapse.

One of my actor friend shared Bhushaan's Instagram profile and looks wise, we liked him. That's when we called him, told him everything, and he said he had no problems.

After we had locked Bhushaan, I met Suraaj. I asked Bhushaan if had any other actor friend and he shared Suraaj's photo. And we cast him after talking a lot with him.

Neeraj, as a producer, you were obviously involved in bringing the finances and putting together the whole package. It's a story in Marathi, set in rural India, without any big stars. How do you raise money for a project like this?
And honestly I love the film, but beyond the film festival circuits what are your hopes for it? I know that in Maharashtra, a lot of Marathi films get released because they get tax breaks.

Neeraj: My hope is that this film is riding on the new wave of some amazing Indian talent that is shining internationally like Payal (Kapadia) and Shuchi (Talati).

We hope that the success they have enjoyed internationally also helps us all. This film has come out of the NFDC Film Bazaar script lab.

We also have the India Cine Hub (run by the ministry of information and broadcasting) helping us for our Sundance exposure. We do hope that we get a broader audience.

Let's hope the international reception and international distribution opportunities that we get amplifies the result for this film in India.

At the heart of it all, it's about how the death of a loved one changes the relationships between all of us, not just Anand and his love interest, but his mother, his family around him, his perspective of seeing the world, the vulnerability of his dream about meeting someone.

These are common themes which should resonate with all of us. All of us have loved and all of us have lost. And many of us have had all these things happen at the same time as well.

So we sincerely hope that we get a warm reception in India and are able to release the film theatrically and then bring it to an OTT platform.

IMAGE: Sabar Bonda Director Rohan Parashuram Kanawade. Photograph: Kind courtesy Rohan Parashuram Kanawade

Rohan: I want to share this small story. When we were shooting in the village, we didn't tell the villagers what the story was.

When we finished the film, we had a private screening where we invited the villagers. I didn't know how they would react to the film.

After the screening, the teacher at the village school raised his hand and he came on the stage. He said that he had no idea what we were making, but after seeing the film, he said, "Thank you for shooting this in our village, we loved it."

He was so sensitive and happy.

And that's when I realised how you tell the story makes a difference.

If I had made Anand a victim where he questioned his sexuality they could have reacted differently.

So no matter what kind of story, if it's emotionally engaging and impactful, I think people would watch it.

Feature Presentation: Ashish Narsale/Rediff.com