'There is an eminently fertile ground that perpetrators must be finding in our society.'
It's not easy being an unmarried woman, and the pressure can make them quite vulnerable.
In her heart-breaking new docu-series, Wedding.con, Tanuja Chandra explores how such women fall prey to predators, who con them off their money.
Like our review says, 'They shut down their survival instincts and hold on to any little sliver of hope to get a suitable groom.'
"Imagine how unattended mental health issues of victims are. Money might still be recovered, but the years and years it takes to heal, to feel worthy, to stand up with one's head high, is daunting," Tanuja tells Subhash K Jha.
How did the idea of Wedding.con fructify?
BBC Studios had been researching this for a while before they approached me to direct.
I was so happy to have this come my way, but I was even more shocked.
I had no idea this was happening at this scale in India!
I was only too glad to come on board, but yes, it was challenging as heck.
What sort of research did the project entail? How did you zero in on the ladies who feature in your documentary?
It was a long research as well as dialogue with the victims that my producers had been doing.
There is so little in terms of news or archival material or even statistics on this subject.
It's as if this wasn’t happening at all!
So to locate the victims was not easy.
Finally, we decided on our contributors because they varied in age and communities, they came from different parts of the country and the individual cons they went through illustrated varying modus operandi used by perpetrators.
It is gut-wrenching to hear how these ladies were cleaned out by scamsters. How deeply were you affected by these encounters?
It was heartbreaking.
Several times during the interviews, I was moved to tears.
We had conducted mock interviews in advance, even then it was so sad to listen to them.
What crushed me was that they often felt somehow it was their fault. That they could have been smarter.
I'd go to lengths to explain that all of humanity seeks love and all of humanity makes mistakes.
But we are so quick to judge people that they feel like hiding. Not least because the Law, the police, even family and friend circles point fingers at them.
The very idea of predators out there on the Internet waiting to feed on the vulnerabilities of unmarried women is appalling. What was your biggest takeaway from this experience?
The scale at which this scam is operating is shocking and infuriating.
I have to say, there is an eminently fertile ground that perpetrators must be finding in our society.
Marriage is considered the most revered and important destination for women and men.
In such a culture, these men scamming women, looking for partners, would have countless potential victims. Especially when our young population is huge!
My biggest takeaway is that women need to be uplifted, supported, believed and given justice to.
Women have been in darkness for centuries.
If we are to be a modern, progressive nation, surely women must be equal to men in every way.
As mentioned in your remarkable series, it is the societal pressure on unmarried women that engenders such gross deceptions. What, according to you, is the remedy?
The government agencies need to mindfully, consciously and aggressively fight for victims of online matrimonial fraud.
Only when the Law protects citizens is there any real change.
This needs to be a really big deal for our government.
At home, at work, in social circles, the constant shaming of women needs to stop.
It's debilitating and humiliating.
Imagine how unattended mental health issues of victims are.
Money might still be recovered, but the years and years it takes to heal, to feel worthy, to stand up with one's head high, is daunting.
Now that Wedding.con is done, what are your plans?
I'm working on next projects, some scripts, some pitching to producers.
Fiction.
I would ideally like to direct a feature film next, but let's see what I can get to take off first.
A director's struggle is ongoing. (Laughs)
