'When The Mehta Boys was offered to me, I wasn't very sure.'
'I was doing Bambai Meri Jaan and Khakee.'
'I felt I should do something bigger.'
'I felt a soft film is not what I would want to do.'
You know what they say about dreams? They must be realised with eyes open.
Holds true for Avinash Tiwary when he dropped out of engineering at 19 to pursue acting aspirations. His only backing to survive in the notoriously disorienting film industry was his belief in himself.
Looking back, Avinash admits, it feels "plain stupidity" but things worked out for him.
After a bumpy start in 2018 with Laila Majnu, as the actor's remarkable performance went off the radar just like the film itself, Avinash persisted to make his space in the industry.
In the last couple of years, he rose to fame and acclaim with projects like Khakee: The Bihar Chapter, Bambai Meri Jaan, Kaala, Madgaon Express and Sikandar Ka Muqaddar.
His latest outing The Mehta Boys, Boman Irani's debut directorial venture, puts him in a different light as a stubborn half of a complex father-son duo.
"For Mehta Boys, the amount of messages, the love that's flowing... You feel you're able to affect people and heal something for them. It is a special feeling. Jaise duaayein mil rahi hain," Avinash tells Mayur Sanap/Rediff.com.
Were you thrilled that The Mehta Boys was written by Birdman writer (Alexander Dinelaris)?
That's definitely something I would take as a brownie point.
But honestly, when it was offered to me, I wasn't very sure.
I was doing Bambai Meri Jaan and Khakee at that point. I felt I should do something bigger.
I felt a soft film is not what I would want to do.
But once I read it, it just called me.
I felt I have to do this because this will stay for long.
The story connected with me. It was not melodramatic and had a very different look towards it. I liked the way the writer was seeing the story.
Praising your audition for the film, Boman Irani said whatever he threw at you as an actor or director, you responded magnificently. What was the process like?
His compliment comes for me probably as a performer but there are years of thought, craft and effort of doing this.
Most of the things that he threw at me, after I read the film, I connected with. I knew what the headspace was.
I honestly didn't think of it much but you get so happy when someone like him compliments you and cares to even look at these small things.
He asked me to read a scene once and we did a reading.
The next thing I know, he had his jacket off, I had my jacket off, and both of us were on the floor, almost acting together. For me, that was the thing.
I connected to the actor-director so much that it was very easy for me to respond with whatever he threw at me.
He also said that you thought he was not happy with your performance during the rehearsals.
(Laughs) Yeah, I would always feel that.
I was out for promotions (of other projects) and he would constantly feel that I'm not giving my all.
He felt I was not pushing myself enough and was not there enough for him, as an actor. But I felt that I was.
If you look at it, Amay (his character in The Mehta Boys) is being pushed around and everyone constantly keeps telling him that you are capable of so much more and you're not giving your best.
I almost started feeling the same kind of resentment that Amay feels for his father during the rehearsals. I used to find ways to keep away from him.
Strangely, the moment we started shooting, he hyped me up and how. He would come and tell me how good an actor I am.
So the shoot became very smooth and comfortable. The rehearsal was difficult because I would put in the hard work and still feel not being validated.
Do you draw experiences from real life to play your characters?
That's all I know.
I've always been curious and I connect to people from the long list that I remember.
Earlier, there was a lot of cinema inspiration that would come in because I had seen a lot of cinema. After a point, it stopped inspiring me.
I got more inspired by life.
I think I'm more curious about reality than the fiction that they create.
As an actor, there's a lot of vanity attached to the job. How do you make sure it doesn't become a hindrance in your process?
You can always find your way out.
I have always been this guy who talks to everyone.
If you were around with me and I had some free time, I would be asking you questions, not you asking me questions.
I'm the one who's curious and keep asking questions.
I keep indulging, expressing my thoughts and views and wait for them to counter it.
I think that is what excites me and my work.
As far as vanity is concerned, we all know this. All the actors who have been around, especially the ones who come from the outside, who have found a way after years of looking for it, that struggle has been our resource system.
And today also, everyone can connect to that. You just need to touch back to being your real self because that is what you were until this group of 10 people who have decided to surround you.
Also, I have a personal thing against the idea of vanity.
I feel that most of the problems in life arise from there.
Your Laila Majnu co-actor Triptii Dimri said you had given '500 per cent' to the film so much so that you would often starve yourself to play Majnu.
Would you still go to extreme lengths to achieve your characters or you have found better ways to do that?
The only way I know how to function is to give it my all. I don't know any other way; I hope I find one.
A lot of people can put in 50 per cent but present it in a way that it looks 500 per cent.
I wish I knew that.
Even if I put in 100 per cent, people would feel it's 80 per cent (Laughs).
Do you analyse your performances?
When the film comes out, you just look for the rough edges in your performance. You see if it's effortless, if it's not looking pretentious.
If I feel there is a fake moment or something that I'm pushing for didn't come through, I acknowledge that. That's part of a craft that is probably something that I need to work on but I don't over-analyse it.
The one thing I'm doing is to just trust the director. If he has liked it, I am okay with it.
Eventually, it's the audience's reaction. Sometimes there is a strong reaction for a performance. I definitely look at what they're trying to say.
My favourite film of yours isTu Hai Mera Sunday. It was such an unassuming, no-frills performance, it didn't feel like acting at all.
It's one of my favourite films that I'm a part of.
Now that you brought up Tu Hai Mera Sunday, I felt with Amay in Mehta Boys there is no performance there.
Like, you know, Laila Majnu is a performance and Khakee is a performance. So is Bambai Meri Jaan.
Mehta Boys and Tu Hai Mera Sunday, I felt like these guys, in a way, were the same.
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