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The much awaited nuptials of Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai have generated great curiousity in academics and traditionalists. Though Abhishek is an amalgam of different castes and cultures he is being called a kayasth, his grandfather Dr Harivanshrai Bachchan being one.
But if you remember his beautiful and progressive grandmother, Mrs Teji Bachchan you will give due credit to the sikh side of the family. This influence was quite evident at Amitabh's own quiet wedding, where close family and literary friends of Dr Bachchan donned pink turbans -- a decidedly Punjabi custom.
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It definitely looked like a brainwave of the dynamic Teji, herself decked in heavy brocade. Jaya, a demure traditional bride has brought her rich Bengali heritage to the family. If the grapevine is to be believed, she has already bought a nova (an iron band covered with gold, worn on the wrist) for the bride. It is customary for a Bengali mother in law to welcome the bride in private, make her sit on her lap and bless her with the nova, a symbol of happy married life. This is the time when she advises her on her new role and way of life.
With sister Shweta married into a hardcore Punjabi-Kapoor family, the Abhi-Ash wedding will bring to the fore the best of all these multiple cultures, with Ash's family adding its own share of the colorful south.
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However, in a hardcore kayasth wedding, the ceremony starts with lagun. A formal invitation in the form of a lagun patrika is sent by the bride's family to the groom's. This is accompanied with a silver covered coconut, betel nuts and gold covered barley, clothes for the groom and his family, sweets, dry fruits and fruits are other necessary accompaniments. It is presented to the groom after a Ganesh puja.
The next ceremony is haldibaan. The groom is smeared with turmeric paste after being duly doused with oil, roli, turmeric, rice and water by married women of the family, led by his mother. The mother then stands up behind her son and all the women indulging in fun and frolic with the groom end up wiping their hands on the mothers sari.
The groom has a bath after this and an arti is performed by the mother. A kangana (holy thread with an attached folded cloth containing mustard seeds, roli, whole turmeric an iron ring) and rice is tied around his wrist by his sister-in law, who tries to put as many knots in the kangana, the purpose being to make it difficult for the bride to untie it after marriage, in another fun-filled ceremony.
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Finally, the big day arrives and once the groom is ready the whole family fathers and blesses him with roli tikka and gifts. His sister performs the arti and is presented with a suitably generous gift. As the groom prepares to ride the horse for ghur-chari prior to departure of the marriage party, the mother goes away in search of a well (though it is now accepted that a swimming pool may serve the cause, in cities), she is ready to jump in as she fears once the new bride comes, her son will forget her.
At this point the son assures her that he is getting married so that he and can his wife can look after her, a pacified mother is presented with an ornament as further assurance and the happy groom joins the wedding party.
On arrival at the bride's place, the groom is greeted first by the bride's brother and then welcomed by her mother with an arti at the entrance. He is presented with gifts and coconuts once again. His mother, father and other elders of the family are also welcomed by the brides family and presented with shawls, silver bowls filled with crystallised sugar and gifts.
This ritual is followed by jaymala, where the bride and groom garland each other.
The actual marriage ceremony starts with kanyadaan, where the parents give away the bride. This is followed by pheras, circling the sacred fire seven times with the pundit chanting mantras and saptpadi (walking seven steps together) which makes the couple eternal friends. Then they are pronounced man and wife.
Then start the seemingly endless rounds of feet-touching, blessings, congratulations and laughter.
As the bride reaches her new abode, the groom's mother is ready with the arti to welcome her new daughter, but before that the groom's sister has to be appeased. She stands barring the entrance, and removes herself from there only when her brother greases her palm suitably.
The mother takes the bride and groom inside to the thapa (the special worshipping place where haldibaan has take place), where a younger brother or nephew of the groom is made to sit in the bride's lap and ask God for a sweet and a son for his sister-in-law, the bride. The bride is offered sherbet by her sister in law, whom she again gifts something.
The next ritual is the kangana where the newlyweds' kanganas are untied by each other, where the groom is allowed to use only one hand. His sister in law places the untied kanganas along with a ring, in a vessel full of turmeric-filled water. The bride and groom have to hunt for the ring thrice. The one who retrieves the ring the maximum times is declared the winner and is supposed to have the upper hand in the marriage. The lucky sister in law is again rewarded suitably for her efforts.
What follows is another amusing custom, where the groom, the bride and all pairs of brother and sister in laws in the family arm themselves with twigs in which the women attack the men who are supposed to defend themselves. It's a fun ceremony with men and women of ages participating and reliving memories of their own marriage ceremony.
Finally, a Satyanarayan puja is held to conclude the ceremony.
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