'It's no more just art and skills, it's a business.'
After a bumpy beginning, Avinash Tiwary's career took off as he positioned himself as dependable actor on OTT.
As he wows everyone through yet another impactful performance in The Mehta Boys, Avinash tells Mayur Sanap/Rediff.com, "Five days you feel amazing and the next 10 days you feel like what the hell? Then five days again, you feel amazing. That's been a part of my life forever."
The last couple of years brought in a revival in your career. Do you see yourself in a better space now?
I don't know what better space is.
I feel more confident about my work because I've been doing it for some time.
I feel more confident about my craft, my skill.
The rest, I don't know, yaar.
Five days you feel amazing and the next 10 days you feel like what the hell? Then five days again, you feel amazing. That's been a part of my life forever.
But I definitely feel that I can stand my ground and that's what drives me.
I feel I am driven by a vision that is bigger than just myself and that excites me.
You have an interesting career trajectory. What gave a 19-year-old yourself that confidence to quit education and try out films?
I wish I knew that.
Sometimes I turn back and think that maybe it was just plain stupidity.
I had confidence that I will do something out of my life. This strong belief comes from your conditioning and people around you, and how they have made you feel in life.
The worst case is survival, right? Back in 2003-2004, there were so many channels. I told myself I am not so bad that I won't find any work. I knew something will work out.
That just made me go on and make it. I told myself that I will take care of survival, now I should just look for excellence.
Do your parents watch your films? Are they critical of your work?
Absolutely. They are so invested in me, I can't tell you.
They know everything that is happening in my life and things that I don't want them to know also.
They are part of all the fan clubs. They follow all of them. They just get so happy.
Obviously, it makes me happy to see them happy, but also slightly embarrassed with how they react to things.
My father has been very critical of my work. He also compliments me a lot. He will be the first person to come and hug me.
I work doubly hard if he doesn't like something.
He's also someone I've shared my scripts with.
He tells me this is where we should look. But criticism is mostly related to vanity, where he desires his son to be, in a certain way.
I choose parts which are all kinds.
I think Majnu (in Laila Majnu) is larger-than-life in every way.
I think Chandan Mahto (Khakee) is a larger-than-life character.
Dara Kadri from Bambai Meri Jaan is a larger-than-life character.
They all lack vanity but as a father, he would probably want to see me best looking all the time.
For example, he was pretty happy to see me in Madgaon Express.
This is also a problem I face professionally because since I've done all these parts, people don't really know what I look like in person.
I understand why actors tend to play something again and again because it becomes easier for the audience to relate to the person and that creates their brand.
But I thought of myself as an actor who's supposed to do parts. That's what I trained myself for.
What's the one personal performance that you feel deserves more love?
Tu Hai Mera Sunday.
I feel it's a very good film. It has some amazing performances and just everything that works for a good film. It's something that I would want the world to see.
Also, Bambai Meri Jaan is very close to me.
I've put in a lot of hard work into it. It took four years of my life. I didn't do anything else in the last six months of the four years; I devoted all of it to that show.
And I know not many have seen it.
That show is absolutely brilliant!
It's one of my better performances.
It's been more than 10 years for you in the industry. Is there something about your profession that you still find challenging?
Everything associated with the job, apart from acting, is challenging for me.
If you have 10 events in a month, just choosing what clothes to wear is so much of a headache.
You have a team who will have to do that and the team can get swayed by what is going around. You want to maintain your own kind of originality.
To maintain that persona, imagery and optics of this profession, which is driven so much by money, and it's such a rich man's business now.
It's no more just art and skills, it's a business.
I find those things challenging.
And what's the most rewarding thing an an actor?
The love that we receive.
Just for Mehta Boys, the amount of messages, the love that's flowing, people thanking you and saying, 'I know you would have taken on something else but you chose to do a film like this. Thank you so much for creating this feeling and the warmth.'
You feel that you're able to affect people and heal something for them. It is a special feeling.
Jaise duaayein mil rahi hain. There is nothing more valuable than that.
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