For Kitu Gidwani, it's mind over body!

Ronjita Kulkarni

For someone who has never had any formal training in acting, Kitu Gidwani has an astonishing repertoire to her credit.

She has done theatre, television (Trishna, Junoon etc), a French film (Black), offbeat films (Earth 1947) and mainstream films (Abhay).

But, "I did miss formal training in acting," says the actress. "Frankly, the theatre is my training ground. I never took it lightly. And I have worked with talented people like Naseeruddin Shah and Vikram Kapadia."

Kitu was always a restless, hyper girl in school and college. At times, she even felt suppressed. "A large part of me wanted to express myself. In acting, I found an outlet. Later, I learnt the art, language and the structure etc."

She began on the big screen with Govind Nihalani's Rukhmavati Ki Haveli (1992). Her latest film, Nihalani's Deham releases Friday, May 3. "I don't like to call it a science fiction. It's a human story in a futuristic way. It tells us what it is like living in poverty. One aspect of the film indicates the tremendous power of the West to dictate terms to the third world countries. The other aspect is that the poor will not bow down to their power. They stand up for their rights."

Kitu plays middle class Jaya, living in a chawl. The film is based on Manjula Padmanabhan's award-winning play, Harvest. "Manjula took a backseat in the film. I haven't spoken to her after the film screening but I'm sure she liked the film," smiles Kitu.

The actress is full of praise for her director Nihalini (who also directed Drohkaal and Thakshak). "He is a perfectionist, very hard-working and passionate about his work. Working with him is very fulfilling. I couldn't have done better than what I've done in Deham. Some directors are happy with less, but not Govindji. For every scene, we were pushed to give our best.

"For this reason, I have quite a few favourite scenes. My character is quite violent at times. So I throw things all around the place. Those times, I had to be careful not to hurt anyone on the set."

"But I was uncomfortable in one scene," she continues. "The lovemaking scene with Joy (Sengupta), which was part of the mahurat shot. I was really nervous --- so many people starring at us."

For Kitu, Joy is an old friend. "We have had discussions on art, politics, life and everything under the sun. He is a very committed actor. He can differentiate between good and bad cinema. Working with him was a breeze. He knows how to tackle me and my moods."

But then there are times when she senses her costars might not be genuine. "Then it becomes difficult to hide my feelings. I can't protect myself from fake people. I become sensitive and vulnerable. The problem is that you can't walk away. You have to work with them, no matter what you feel. That's when I just shut myself. Which is wrong --- an actor should always express herself, not shut herself."

She is very disappointed with her play called Shadows In The Dark, directed by Pankaj Bontalia. "It was fake, which was sad. But the screenplay was excellent. I realised during the shooting that the play was a non-starter. It was a bitter pill --- 60 days of effort wasted. But I took it as a learning experience."

She counts Dance With The Wind, Rukhmavati Ki Haveli, Earth 1947 and Deham among her favourite performances.

Her lineup of films include Tanman.com and a Hollywood film Nicobar, directed by David Klaus and starring Nick Stahl (of In The Bedroom). "I would love to work directors like Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Erin Brokovich), Rituparno Ghosh, Mira Nair and Girish Karnad."