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Write this down: Your boss isn't your best friend, a babysitter or an ogre.
If you're lucky, your boss is competent, a mentor interested in your advancement and confident in your abilities.
A good boss depends on you. The reward for good work is challenging assignments in the future. In return, make your boss look good to The Grand Pooh-Bahs who inhabit the executive suite and the corner offices. If nothing else, boosting your boss will advance your career.
"The relationship with your boss is a partnership," says Jane Boucher, author of How To Love The Job You Hate: Job Satisfaction for the 21st Century.
"It takes effort to built the relationship and nurture it. You have to communicate well, avoid confrontations and resolve differences in a positive way."
That sounds simple enough, but many employees get bogged down in small details and lose sight of what's important. Small differences become bitter disputes and fester into grudges. This helps no one, especially you, because you'll be seen as a problem child who puts personal interests ahead of getting the job done.
"The smart employee understands the boss's temperament and style," says Boucher, associate director of the Organizational Institute at McGregor Graduate School of Antioch University in Yellow Springs, Ohio. "You want to move to being a partner from being just another worker. You want to become part of a high-performance team, and you want your boss to depend on you to deliver consistently high effort and offer good ideas."
Bosses appreciate openness and honesty. They depend on you to tell them what they need to know, and the smart boss wants the details straight up. What your boss doesn't need is endless negativity. Remember that your boss is under constant pressure from above and doesn't need endless yammering from below.
This doesn't mean that you should be mindlessly upbeat about everything, especially when the walls are about to tumble down. It means that you should offer suggestions on how to fix immediate problems and ideas on how to avoid pitfalls in the future. You turn the wheels and the smart boss will listen to your suggestions because you're closer to the daily push-and-shove of the job.
Learn your boss's concerns and goals. Understand the problems and pressures your boss confronts daily. Listen carefully to what your boss says--and doesn't say. Know when it's wise to shut up and leave your boss alone.
Understand how your boss likes to receive information--face-to-face, memo, e-mail or weekly staff meeting--and manage the flow of details accordingly. If something important breaks, take it directly to your boss, but don't always demand face time. Some believe daily meetings with the boss make them more important. Not likely--especially if you have nothing compelling to say.
Make your career goals known, but never lose sight of the task at hand. Your boss wants you to turn handstands at work, but doesn't want a workaholic.
"Stay focused on your job," Boucher says. "The best way to advance is to do well in your current assignment. The worst thing you can do is ignore the details of your present job while looking forward to the next rung on the corporate ladder."
No one, especially your boss, is perfect. Learn to work around your boss's weak points or blind spots. You'll disagree, but how you disagree will determine how your boss sees you--and how far and quickly you'll advance. Don't pick a fight with your boss because it's a match you can't win. Make your points clearly and emphatically and if your boss disagrees, listen carefully to what you boss wants and do what's suggested. In some instances, every employee realizes that you don't have to like it, you just have to do it.
Confidence is a leading indicator of competence, and instances of "do it my way" will be rare with a good boss. A competent boss is always looking for ways to do things better. A good boss won't steal your ideas and will credit you for them. The reason is simple: A good boss wants to get the most out of everyone, and there's no surer way to squash morale than being an egotistical jerk claiming credit for other's work.
In most cases, your boss will ask you out to lunch once in a while just to chat. Remember that your boss isn't a shrink or a social worker and doesn't want to hear all about your problems. Talk about your interests and ambitions, but unless there's something outside work that impinges on your performance at the office, can the personal problems.
These basic techniques will work for nonprofits, mom-and-pop operations, startups and major companies such as Intel, Microsoft, Chevron, Cisco and Bank of America.
"You can lessen the chance that your boss will make bad decisions that adversely affect you and your career by managing your relationship with the boss," Boucher says. "Keep the boss informed about what's going on at work and never forget the pressure your boss is under. Honesty and reliability will win the hearts of most bosses."
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