10 worst Valentine's Day gifts EVER

From the plain cheesy to the downright dangerous, don't even think about these really terrible gifts for your Valentine this year.

It's that dreaded time of the year again when life basically boils down to two choices -- buy a gift for your better half or get butchered. While the rest of the world is giving you ideas about what gifts you must buy for your Valentine, we would rather tell you the gifts you absolutely MUST NOT buy for her.

Read on and be enlightened!

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Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

There is nothing cheesier than a soft toy with a mushy message on it as a gift for Valentine's Day or for any other occasion, really. Yes, we're talking of those hideous life-size teddy bears holding red hearts that are sold by the side of the road and e-v-e-r-y single gift shop in our neighbourhoods!

Apart from the fact that they're just downright terrible idea if you're seeing each other on the sly -- imagine your girlfriend trying to hide it from her family when she gets home -- they reek of the '80s and '90s when these things were really cool (yes kids, they were cool, once upon a time).

Whatever you buy let it not be a teddy bear (or any other animal in fact).

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Yet again, one of those things that borders on the cliche, unless of course your girl really digs for them. A box of assorted chocolates is one of the easiest things you can buy for your valentine, but it also shows that you probably haven't put a lot of thought in buying her a gift.

Also, the other issue with assorted chocolates is something you may have realised yourself -- that you almost always never like more than half the flavours in the box. How then do you expect your partner to love all and appreciate something you probably wouldn't have yourself in the first place!

Box of chocolates = bad idea!

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Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

You've probably seen numerous advertisements and television shows and films where couples send roses to each other in their offices on Valentine's Day. Now, as romantic as it looks on television, remember that it gets twice as cheesy in real life. Let us spell this one out for you -- Sending roses, not cute.

If you must however send flowers, give the cliched roses a pass and opt instead for something out of the ordinary, lilies perhaps or some exotic flowers that your florist can put together for you at a slightly higher price. Don't be stingy; it's Valentine's, remember!?!

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Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

If a teddy bear is at the top of the pile of the cheesiest gifts for your girlfriend, this one would come a c-l-o-s-e second.

Think of it -- how many times have you actually worn a t-shirt that has a horrendous picture of your girlfriend anyone for that matter? Now think of the number of times you've probably laughed at that potbellied fellow in the mall wearing one that has his e-n-t-i-r-e family on it?

You get the picture, right?

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Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

This one borders on the dangerous. By getting her a treadmill, you're suggesting, she's fat. If you manage to get out of this unscathed, call us. We'd love to interview you on your survival skills.

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Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

Quite simply because it's just plain downright unromantic anything related to kitchen -- other than a complete kitchen makeover, of course (ahem) -- is a bad, bad idea on Valentine's Day for your wife. So if you can't afford that, we'd say keep out of the kitchen!

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Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

Much like the chocolate box, an unsigned card is a sign that you've probably forgotten about the day altogether and managed to buy it on your way back from work. A good card can work wonders, but not always and most certainly not if it is blank and never once by itself. There absolutely must be something sizeable to accompany it. Not a teddy bear of course and certainly not a treadmill.

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Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

This one's part of the ten commandments of Valentine's Day gift giving – 'Thou shalt not gift your girlfriend anything in a ring-sized box on Valentine's Day'.

Unless of course it is in fact a ring and you intend to go down on your knee and pop the question.

So if you're planning to get her a pendant or a pair of earrings or anything else that size that IS NOT a ring, we suggest you put it in a something the size of a shirt box. Else don't give it at all.

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Illustration: Dominic Xavier

Let's face it lingerie -- edible or otherwise -- is more for you than for her.

And while everyone (and their mother) is telling you to buy one for her we say it's tad selfish to get her something she wears but you like. How about you get something that is actually meant for her, eh?

We aren't saying don't buy her lingerie (heck, we'd say buy it from here if you must) but let's not pretend you were thinking about her when you bought it.

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Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

If you don't get what's wrong with this, we really can't help you. We have two words for you -- Just Don't!

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Illustration: Uttam Ghosh