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'I hit her father in a fit of anger...'
Is your love life under pressure? Are you troubled by your relationship? Get Ahead's Love Guru hosted a chat with readers on March 17 to help them deal with love problems. For those of you who missed it, here's the transcript.
Love Guru says, Hi there, everyone...welcome back to the Love Guru chat! Please feel free to ask questions regarding your relationships!
res asked, why does many times it happn that love ends after the couple sleep with each other? is it infactuation like how can one draw a line between infactuation and love?
Love Guru answers, Love is more than a physical attraction -- it doesn't wane after sleeping with your partner, it grows. You're with a person you love not just to satisfy your libido but because you value their companionship and enjoy their personality too.
raj asked, me n my gf get engaged after 6 yrs long relationship,but now she says that am not settle yet,so tht she can,t marry me,duno wth to do,i luv her too much
Love Guru answers, Well, are you settled or not? Can you handle the responsibility of marriage financially and otherwise? And is she saying you should wait longer to get married to her or that she doesn't want to marry you at all? Please elaborate.
Poo asked, Hi. I love a who loves my best friend. & I always knew that still I have fallen in love with him. & I cant share this with anybody. I cant even forget him. We share a good relation as friends. Please give me some advice.
Love Guru answers, Does your best friend feel the same way about him as he does about her? If she's not interested, wait for her to tell him or let him know. After that, once he knows that things are not going to work out with her, you can make your move. If you feel like the situation has gone on the same way long enough, take a step and let him know anyway. You'll have to get your guts together and handle it properly!
bha asked, HI,Love guru.I have one problem i had a freindship with on married lady we use to talk on phone regularly but off late she has been avoiding talk and sms.i asked her many times she is telling there is nothing wrong.we are just good freinds nothing else than that.i donnot want to break this freindship.what should i do
Love Guru answers, Probably her husband found out about your friendship and hasn't taken to it kindly. And you can hardly blame him. No man wants his wife chatting for hours on the phone to someone else. While I understand that you're not looking for anything more than friendship, you need to understand that she's married and her top priority is not you.
res asked, abe lg dont giv these shit therotical craps. live life n think beyond the small box in which u r livin. givin all disgusting answers to ppl, which any dumb person can give. grow up!!
Love Guru answers, Your grammar is worse than a six-year-old and you're telling me to grow up? I think you should stop wasting your time and mine in this forum and do something constructive -- get out!
plp asked, procedure for intercaste marriege ugernt
Love Guru answers, There is no 'procedure' -- you get married like any other couple!
Galaxy asked, Talking about frankness, clarity and transparency in between the couple is very important .But its easier said than done -finding it tough from one side or other. plz tell us how it can be achieved?
Love Guru answers, It can only be achieved if both partners want transparency and clarity about each other's lives and that's not always the case. Sometimes one has a past s/he doesn't want the partner to know about and vice versa. Only after there is complete trust can partners feel like they can reveal everything about themselves to the other.
Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.
Illustrations: Uttam Ghosh
'I'm attracted to my aunt...is it just infatuation?'
raj asked, we both workin,can handle marriage financially and all other aspects,she recently told me tht she met some guy in her office,find him more suitable.
Love Guru answers, 'Suitable'? Or is she in love with him? Marriage is not a contract, it's a relationship. If she doesn't understand that, you're better off without her. And if she is in love with him, well, then you have no choice in the matter. On the bright side, you're not ending up marrying such a fickle-minded girl.
athindra asked, I have a problem of early ejculation. pl suggest what to do?
Love Guru answers, You need to consult a sexologist for that, my friend.
sunal asked, Hello sir, i want to share it with you that i love a girl in my office campus and i use to see her in cafeteria daily.i am looking at her for past 2 months but till now i didnot dare to ask her her name and desire my feelings in front of her.i know that she also knows that i regularly stares at her and want to say something but ultimately neither i proceed to her nor if she is interested , approaches to me. So please find a way out so that i apply the same and result is fruitful
Love Guru answers, The result will not be fruitful if you tell her you've fallen for her without knowing who she is! You need to make friends first -- and without using that horrible line 'I want to make friendship with you'! Next time she catches your eye, just smile. Then go up and introduce yourself and leave it at that for awhile. Once you've had a few conversations, ask her to join you for a meal at the cafeteria. Only once you're good friends can you even think of asking her out!
SAAN asked, I LOVE A GRL...LYK MY LYF...SHE S SOO VALUABLE 4 ME..!!!T S ABOVE EGO R PERSNL INTEREST,SHE S NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE...BT I LOVE HER LYK ANYTHING.... BUT STIL THE GRL S NOT ABLE TO LOV ME THE WAY I WANT
Love Guru answers, Maybe you need to stop trying so hard for her and explore other options. You're obsessing and it's not going to get you anywhere. Maybe if you stop pursuing her for awhile she may decide she misses you and change her mind. And if she doesn't, well, at least you'll have moved on.
WS asked, I am attracted to one of female collegue in office.We enjoy each other's company & exchange kisses & hugs.Both of us have one kid each from marriages for last 6 years.My female wants to get into physical intimacy.Even I want so.Please advice
Love Guru answers, My advice is, don't. It's a risk not only to your family life but to your career. The choice is yours.
res asked, lg growing up dosent depend on the grammar. its the attitude u hav towards life and the levele of maturity which u do lack a lot, infact dont hav any. so ask urself n u will realise it!!
Love Guru answers, I'm asking YOU to stop wasting everyone's time here! I'm not here to respond to your opinions, there are others who want real answers. Don't agree with my advice or opinions? That's fine by me -- but WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
shikha.wq@rediffmail.com asked, hello sir, this is rohit, I like my maternal aunty, but i don't know it is love or just infatuation, can you tell me how to get it out that i am in love or not...
Love Guru answers, It is infatuation -- don't try to indulge it, you'll grow out of it soon enough. In the meantime, look at dating pretty young girls closer to your own age.
Manish asked, Hi Luv Guru I am in love with my brother in laws wife and she behave like she do but she do not respond. please advise how can i approach her and tell her my feelings. dont advice me to stay out for society reason please.........
Love Guru answers, Manish, none of my answers are related to what society thinks. They are based on the wellbeing of the individual and others involved. If you're so eager to know what your brother-in-law's wife thinks of you, ask her. But even assuming that she loves you back, what are you going to do? Have an affair, ruin your marriage and hers, destroy family dynamics? These are not decisions to be taken on the spur of the moment based only on how you're feeling. Weigh the situation carefully, take into account the consequences. Are they worth it? That is something only the two of you can decide.
'I earn only 5,000 per month so no girl wants me'
raj01 asked, Sir, I think I am handsome boy but my salary is 5000/- p.m. so no girl love me... what can i do sir?
Love Guru answers, It's not going to be 5,000 for the rest of your life, is it? And it has nothing to do with how a woman feels about you, although it is a concern if you are to set up house with a girl in the future.
Troll asked, LG, I am 52 yrs bachelor (never married). of late a colleague (a divorcee with a kid) is showing interest in me. I am also interested but I am unsure that marrying at this age is appropriate. I am quite confused and dont know what to do
Love Guru answers, Marrying at any age is appropriate, provided it works for you. Why not? My only caution is that since a child is involved, you need to explore the relationship with him/her as a father figure and be fully willing to take on that responsibility too -- if you're not ready for that, it's going to cause friction in your married life.
akki asked, hi Love guru..My girlfriend & me in relationship from last 2 years. We both are working in Multinational company. My GF wants marriage but i m not in a mood for marriage for next 2 year. Her parents wants to marry her with her father's friend son. My girlfirend told me to marry her within 1 month. I m in deep trouble. Can you please help??? Thanx..
Love Guru answers, What is your age and your girlfriend's? Why don't you want to marry for the next two years? You feel like you're not ready? And why not get engaged and set your wedding for two years hence? That should appease her parents, shouldn't it?
jmc asked, hi love guru, iam 27/m n my gf/24 we have sex every day, sumtimes 12times a week, now iam feedup having intercourse with her, iam getting attracted to a married ladies wht shall i do
Love Guru answers, Because you've been overdoing it. You can have too much of a good thing! Take it easy for awhile -- enjoy your dates and don't sleep together for a week or so. The anticipation to meet her and get intimate with her will be higher then -- married women are not the answer to your problem!
gaurav asked, hi.....i am comitted with a girl from last 5 years but got into another relation since past 1 year but i want to continue with the girl with whom i have been with 5 years. how should i sideline the other girl. when i do,she behaves out of the blue,threatens to kill herself. and from the very first day she knew i was in a relation
Love Guru answers, It's your fault for getting into a second relationship by cheating on your girlfriend. You need to sit this other girl down, explain that you're not in love with her and that she cannot force you to stay in the relationship by emotional blackmail. You may also want to warn her family or friends if you feel like she'll act on her threats.
silversurfer asked, Hi love guru I like a friend but she is taller than me... we have ben friends for a long time but lives in dubai.. We share same hobby we love singing songs on chat. Since last few years we have been singing romantic songs instead of normal songs.. is that sign that she is in love with me??
Love Guru answers, Stop singing and tell her how you feel!
sandy asked, I am attracted towards a girl in my office so much but she does not like me. I can resist my feelings and attachments as I have to interact with her for work! i can't concentrate and remain disturbed.
Love Guru answers, She is not attracted to you -- respect that. You cannot force yourself on someone. The best thing for you to do is explore other dating options -- outside the office!
Danny asked, Hi Mate, I am an Irish guy working in India. I have ok looking, but I am just not able to make a good girlfriend. I heard that astrologically some men have problems wooing girls. What should I do?
Love Guru answers, I don't think astrology is the solution to your problem -- you just haven't met the right girl yet! You've just made a transition from to India, give yourself time to settle in, get the feel of the country and the women here and wait for a relationship to happen naturally.
'My wife gets so angry she becomes violent'
Sudheesh asked, Hi, I am 26 years old. I work as software engineer. I am a very lonely person. I feel most people don't want to talk to me. I am not good looking also dark. Marriage proposals till now have not worked bcoz girl or her family rejects me bcose of looks. I have serious sex craving when I see women. What should I do? Bcose of all this I am going mad inside
Love Guru answers, Sudheesh, you have a complex because of your complexion and looks. Look -- you're educated, you're well-settled and I'm guessing you're a nice guy. If women are rejecting you on the basis of only looks, those women are not worth it! but I'm guessing they are also picking up on your lack of confidence -- that's not an attractive trait! The next time you meet a girl, I want you to speak well, be confident of yourself and not try too hard to impress her. Be yourself -- sooner or later, you're bound to meet someone who appreciates everything else you have to offer as a person.
vardhan asked, Hi Love Guru, I love my wife very much, infact I was deeply in love before marriage in our courtship period though are marriage was rranged one. I get attracted to many a women, whenever I see one. AM I OK ? What should I do to avoid such seceario in my day to day life
Love Guru answers, It's okay to find other women attractive -- it's normal! As long as you don't act on it and are faithful to your marriage and your wife, who you say you love deeply, no harm done!
rupali asked, though I like him, but somehow not convinced to say YES. What may be the possible reasons?
Love Guru answers, You're not sure of the relationship -- and you won't be till you give it a try! Only once you've experienced it to some extent can you decide whether it's the right one for you or not. You say yourself that you like him -- so give it a shot.
Duggu asked, Bro, a year back i had a fight with my neighbour for some junk reason whr i hit him badly. Now i am attracted to his daughter... do u think tht she would aacept me as a frien?
Love Guru answers, No. If you want to make a good impression on this girl, the first thing you need to do is go over to her father and apologise for your boorish behaviour. Explain that your temper got the better of you and you regret what happened. Maybe take along some mithai or something as a peace offering. Maybe once you establish a cordial relationship with him she may be more inclined to be friends.
lguru asked, I fell in love with some girl when i was in school... but she got married with some one else after 3 yrs from now..she realized that ..she can't spent her life with her partner and ..now again attracted with me what should i do..?
Love Guru answers, If she realises that she's incompatible with her husband, she should look into ending her marriage first, instead of plunging into another relationship with you. Tell her you're willing to wait, but she needs to sort out her marital issues first.
RAJ1 asked, I HAVE 2 YEARS DAUGHTER. SOMETIMES MY WIFE GETS SO ANGRY WITH SMALL ISSUES AND SHE IS VIOLENT AT A TIME. INJURED HERSELF. AFTER SOMETIMES SHE BECAME NORMAL. TELL ME WHAT TO DO
Love Guru answers, Take her to a psychiatrist. She needs professional help -- this is not normal behaviour. Therapy will help her.
sangin asked, hi LG i am thinking of my mariage with USA boys so now i chat with them, they said when they come they will meet personally. please suggest is it ok to meet them along?
Love Guru answers, Meet in a public place like a coffee shop or restaurant. And have a couple of friends maybe sitting at another table, in case you need them.
Love Guru says, That's all we have time for today, people! Till next week, goodbye and take care!