'He wants me to stop working after marriage'

Love Guru says, Hi there, people...welcome to the Love Guru chat! Let's get started with those relationship questions.

chnki asked, my bf wants me to give up job before marriage,but i don.t want to give up.wht to do

Love Guru answers, Well, he shouldn't be forcing you to do anything you don't want to do. Compromise is one thing, being taken advantage of is another. Explain to him that you are a career-oriented person and he should give you the freedom to make your own professional decisions. Would he sit at home if you told him not to work? So what makes him expect it of you? The fact that you're a woman? That's a very chauvinistic attitude.

CJK asked, Hi.. I am a very thin guy looking for a girl.. But most girls didnt even notice me because of my Physic.. Also cant improve my physic as of sudden.. Suggest me..

Love Guru answers, It's probably more your lack of self-confidence that is damaging your chances with girls that your physique. Fat people, thin people, short people, tall people -- the world is made up of all kinds and just because you're not perfect does not mean you won't find someone who is attracted to you. Stop obsessing about your weight and make an effort in the dating game. If you're friendly, charming and wittty, any girl will fall for you. And if you want to work on your physique for your own reasons, join a gym and get a professional to help you.

Don asked, My galfriend wants to practise cunninglingus. Is it safe?

Love Guru answers, STDs and even HIV can be transmitted via oral sex. If you and your girlfriend know for sure that neither of you is suffering from any infection -- the best way to do that is to get yourself tested -- and you both are faithful to each other, ie you don't have multiple sex partners, then it may be okay for you to indulge in oral sex. Provided, of course, that you both are also mentally comfortable with the idea.

kabita asked, hi ,this is kabita 26 working in hyderabad away from home town,my boyfriend 26 is their in home town .earlier he use to work ,now he is studying.when we talk he always talk about sex.i lost my mother 6 months back.he is not supporting in any way only talks of sex.he tells to get registered marriage and marry after 2 years.not sure of job .he also want to carry higher education.i am in dilema whether he loves me or not or cheating as he is not concern of searching job to support a family

Love Guru answers, Kabita, if he's not providing you with mental and emotional support, and you think he cannot handle the responsibility of settling down, you need to talk to him and express your doubts and dissatisfaction. Long distance relationships are tough and both partners need to trust, love and make compromises for each other. Maybe he's talking about sex so often because he misses being intimate with you, but that does not mean he does not fulfill his role as your partner in other ways.

amit asked, my marriage is almost arranged, the engagement day is coming soon but then i have fallen in love with another girl and this girl also loves me .. what should i do ?

Love Guru answers, You're not married yet. If you're sure that she's the one for you and you're making the right decision in the long run, end your engagement. It's better to create a small mess now than to create a large one and ruin someone else's life after the wedding.

(Advice from the Love Guru does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.)

Love Guru answers, Look, this is just a chance you'll have to take. Don't get all overly sentimental and stuff, just tell her that of late you've developed feelings for her. Ask her whether she feels the same way or else that you will drop the issue and remain friends as you always were. If she's such a close friend, even if she says no, she will most likely not want to lose you as a friend.

jammer asked, hi love guru..ive recently got engaged to a girl who finds it very difficult to trust me..in fact i love her a lot..but its not the same story other side..i do understand her feelings but at the same time i get very upset as i also expect some warmth from her..pls advise.

Love Guru answers, She's acting like a child. Tell her firmly that you don't expect this relationship to work if there's no trust. She has no reason to doubt you and if she is insecure, that is her fault, not yours. She will simply have to learn to control her own irrational way of thinking. Also explain to her that if you didn't love and intend to remain faithful to her, you wouldn't have agreed to marry her in the first place.

red. asked, is it safe to make love t ur partner without protection with current swine scenario??

Love Guru answers, I think your doctor will be in a better position to answer that question than me.

kunu asked, Hiiii to all lovers... any gals r thr?

Love Guru answers, This is a relationship advice chat, not a dating forum. Look one up elsewhere if that is your intention.

jammer asked, thanks a lot love guru..do i convey this to her parents or shall i try on my own??

Love Guru answers, This is between the two of you -- ideally, leave the parents out of it. She will only get more irritated if you tell her parents and not her.

dmb1 asked, hi , i love one girl so much , work in my company , but in my company love relationship is not allow , how can i propose him

Love Guru answers, I'm not surprised. Office relationships are fairly common, but you cannot expect an employer to encourage people to flirt and frolic with each other during working hours. If you want to propose to this girl, I hope she's a good friend of yours. If she's someone you hardly know, it's very possible she may complain to the administration about your inappropriate behaviour. And knowing your company's no-nonsense attitude to office dalliances, you could lose your job.

Love Guru answers, If she is in a relationship, don't pursue things too far. If she only has a crush on someone else, you could give it a try by asking her out to dinner or coffee or something. Also give a thought to the fact that even if you did have a relationship with her and it ended, that would leave you holding the short end of the stick. She is your boss, after all, and it could jeopardise your job.

sumit asked, Hi i love one girl since last 2 years ,but i have very shy nature,i have try too many time to propose her but at last time i always fail , what to do?i am to frustrate

Love Guru answers, Will you please stop being such a wimp? She's just a girl, not a monster who's going to gobble you up the minute you tell her you like her! If you don't have the guts to do it in person, email or sms her, although that won't have the same effect as you telling her directly. Just one thing -- I hope you know her and she is already a friend of yours. If not, be prepared to be turned down.

ghj asked, HI LG, is it valid to marry a divorce women who has 2 children & the age diff is 5 years.

Love Guru answers, 'Valid'? What's that supposed to mean? Either you love her or you don't. Either you're willing to play a parental role in her children's lives or not. But whether it's 'valid'? What kind of a question is that? If you want to and think it will work out well, go right ahead.

ashagaha asked, i am having affair with maid.i dont know how to convey this to parents. cud u plz hlp?

Love Guru answers, Are you looking at a future with her? If you are serious, I think you should tell your parents. But don't expect them to take it well at all. If possible, maybe you should tell her to find another job before you say anything, because most likely they will kick her out after they find out.

Charminar asked, REDIFF BLOCKING FREQUENT CHATTERS OF THIS FORUM SO NO ONE TURNING UP

Love Guru answers, You're a nuisance and you're not here to ask any questions! You bet you'll be thrown out if you create a commotion in here! There are online forums where you can go to pass the time like you want to, so buzz off!

ghj asked, We both love each other a lot , i love kids a lot even kids loves me a lot.i am 25 & she is 30 years old.i am indirectly acting as father those kids. will this society will allow us to live the out life happily ?

Love Guru answers, You're happy, she's happy, the kids are happy. Why the hell do you care what society thinks? Yes, there may be people who will talk about you, but that only goes to prove how miserable their own lives must be, for their chief pastime is idle gossip. In time, the whole thing will blow over anyway. All the best!

Love Guru answers, By mustering up some guts, my dear! Tell her how you feel. Be polite, not overly dramatic and if she says no, take it gracefully. You can still be friends, if nothing more.

huy asked, i love one girl , she is very rich, always use expensive things, i am from medium class family, should i propose her ?

Love Guru answers, That shouldn't stop you from proposing to her. No harm in telling anybody how you feel. She may be rich, but that may have nothing to do with how she feels about you.

dumps asked, after the 377 article judgement.. my bf is forcing me to get married.. while i feel ok with it, not sure if it will have any legal standing as i am rich and worried about the prospects of a breakup..

Love Guru answers, I think you're a little confused...the judgement was only to ensure homosexuality is no longer illegal. As far as my knowledge goes, gay marriage is not legal in India. Yes, you can have a ceremony and get 'married', but that union has no legal standing in a court of law. It is not recognised by the Indian judicial system. Consult a lawyer to completely dispel your doubts.

Ash asked, Hi, I'm married for many years now. Of late my wife had started flirting with his old friend... I noticed this and adviced her not to indulge in such activities. She stopped flirting with that guy but whenever we get into arguments on trival issues she blackmails me saying she will flirt again. Advice me on how to stop her without loosing my self-esteem.

Love Guru answers, Don't give in to her threats. Tell her that she is free to do as she pleases, but that if you are not happy in the marriage you may file for divorce. So she can flirt with anyone she pleases, but she should also make sure that he is willing to marry her, because if she makes a mockery of her commitment to you, you won't hesitate to leave her.

Love Guru says, Time up, people! Email me at mailtheloveguru@rediffmail.com and be sure to tune in to the chat next week, same time, same place. Till then, all the best!