Girl checking you out? What it means

After 5 mistakes men make when approaching women, Varsha Vadhyar Agnihotri warns men not to read too much when they find a woman checking them out at a bar.

First of all, congratulations! You are now among those men who have been checked out by a woman at the bar! Hallelujah! Now you can boast about it for the rest of your life! It's a great feeling indeed, and we understand this because even we are flattered when you look appreciatively at us in a bar, as long as you are not leering! So women return the attention too. And having come a long way from our coy days, we are neither ashamed nor shy about appreciating the male of the species either. But before you approach us, rejoicing, visualise this...

You see her across the bar. She is beautiful. She looks over her shoulder, straight at you, your eyes meet, violins play and love happens, and you walk off into the sunset for your happily ever after! Seems improbable? Perhaps because it is!

Women are generally brought up to not engage with strangers, and with good reason. It has taken us years of evolution to stop hiding at home, eyes downcast and step out and into a bar, to begin with. So the chances of a look leading to anything are remote. "Safety first" is every woman's motto!

At no point are we saying that all men mean danger. It is just the way women are! Indian women in particular, are brought up to maintain their distance and it is a rare man who will get a response to even a "Hi" in a bar unless introduced to us. We may have progressed from being introduced to "boys" by our family members, but keep in mind that most of us are now checking out matrimonial sites. No matter how short our dress, Indian women are hard wired to be wives and live in domestic bliss. There may be exceptions to the rule, but these are rare.

Having said that, if a woman does check you out, here are a few interpretations of the scenario...

The author is Co-Founder, Footloose No More

1. She may be looking at someone behind you so curb your enthusiasm! Imagine your embarrassment when you smile back and the hulky boy friend appears!

2. She may just be checking out the place or looking for her friends and you were in her line of vision; so, hold your horses and just get on with your evening.

3. She may be near sighted and mistook you for someone else, so cancel the order for that champagne!

4. She may have found you interesting or good looking and wanted to look at you! Rejoice! But it isn't time to send over a drink yet! If she is interested in getting to know you, she will smile, hold your gaze and look back a number of times!

5. But to let you on to a secret, even when we do look at you and smile from across the bar, we are not waiting to be approached. If we want to speak to you, we will find a way.

We are merely admiring the view and the moment the view begins to head in our direction, we begin to worry. We like the safety of talking to people we know so it's best to figure out if there is anyone in our group whom you might know and ask for an introduction. If not, enjoy the attention and sleep easy after an evening well spent! Above all, be a gentleman!