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Childbirth: 'Would the doctor even make it?'
Last week, we invited readers to send in their unique stories of welcoming a child into the world. Here, we bring you the first response from Joyce Bala:
It was a nice cloudy day in the desert when my contractions started. My family and I had decided to go for a long leisurely walk that afternoon and by the time we made it back, I had a contraction which stopped me in my tracks. I knew the time had come.
Earlier in the day, my contractions were non-productive and tantalising; two weeks overdue, I was ready for some real pangs so my doula (a person trained and experienced in childbirth, who provides physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after the birth) Sarah had suggested I get going with some inversions and hip rotations on my bright pink birthing ball. By 7 pm that evening my mom, who was visiting with us in anticipation of the birth, literally forced us out of the house to reach the hospital. Her instincts told her that I needed to get to the hospital before it was too late, so she grabbed my hand and said "Joyce, it's okay -- GO!" So my husband Navin grabbed my hospital bag and my bright pink birthing ball and we were off.
We decided to drop by Sarah's place first (it was on the way to the hospital, which was convenient). She greeted us and then jumped into her vehicle to follow us to the hospital. We made it to our room and a midwife, Karen, was the only one on ward duty that night. It was 9 pm and I was joking around with her. She confidently but politely asked, "Can I check you?" "No!" was my reply, even though I meant it -- it felt good to lighten the mood. Anytime you go into the hospital it's all serious business, even though we are going through a very natural process; so it was nice to have a laugh.
Karen asked that I change into the appropriate hospital gown and we politely turned that down, prepared with my own PJs from home. After changing, Karen checked my progress, and said I was 1 cm dilated. I had to laugh -- two days and only 1 cm dilated. I almost felt like telling her to check again! I asked for her approximation on delivery and she estimated four hours. I didn't feel that would be too long, considering we just got there and I had already been in labour for two days, practically -- what's four more hours, right?
When she left, we all let out a sigh and wondered what to do next, now that we had about four hours to spare. I knew Navin was hungry; I wanted him to be ready for what came next, so I told him to run across the street and pick up something. He hesitated, not wanting to leave my side. Sarah suggested we all go for a walk in the fresh air and it sounded good to me. At the exit block of the hospital, I got another contraction which stopped me from taking any more steps. I grabbed Navin's hand, but Sarah helped me through it by reminding me to breathe and let it pass (it's easy to forget, trust me!). So we sat there holding hands, all three of us, until it passed.
Navin went on ahead and once Sarah and I were back inside, I had this urge to pee. It kept recurring and I was really annoyed with myself -- being pregnant and peeing constantly takes a lot of effort. Twenty times or more can certainly try one's patience! When I was done, I was ready to return to my room. With Sarah's help, we made it upstairs, just in time for you know what -- another bathroom break!
By the time I closed the bathroom door and pulled down my pants, I didn't feel the urge to pee so I stood back up, got dressed and opened the door. As I opened the door to see if Navin had arrived, I took a step and felt like the earth had just moved inside of me. My hips felt like closed doors and the invisible "jaws of life" were helping to widen them. I literally felt my hips widen, large enough to fit just about anything through (you always hear about a watermelon having to fit through, it gives things new meaning!) and it happened in just one second. It was quite a feeling, one I could certainly do without!
That is when the contraction started and I knew I wouldn't be taking too much longer. I leaned against the bed, trying not to move for fear I would intensify the contraction. Sarah was trying to convince me to sit on the pink birthing ball, but I wasn't having it. Finally she came and pulled me onto the ball; if I had had the strength to stop her I would have, right then. After getting me on the ball, however, bliss! It passed. Navin arrived soon after, out of breath too. I could see he had run back, afraid he was missing something.
By this time Sarah turned down the lights for us, setting a calming mood so that we could focus on the task at hand together; she was a blessing to have there. She guided Navin as to how he should help me through my contractions and at the final point, he was sitting in a chair facing me on my birthing ball and Sarah was behind, helping me breath. I leaned my head on Navin's chest and Sarah pressed on my lower back and squeezed my hips. It was all happening so fast, I felt I couldn't catch my breath. I would have one low-intensity contraction closely followed by a very highly intense one and then a few minutes' break. During the break I would rotate my hips with the help of Sarah and rest my head on my husband's chest. It was a very calming and unique experience to be able to have such help with something that only one person can truly go though.
At some point Karen popped in to ask how far along I was, nearly two hours after we had first arrived. Sarah replied that I was three to five minutes apart. The midwife said that there was one more woman in labour who was heading towards the delivery room and that she would be back for us in about five minutes. It was then that I had one more contraction, fierce, I remember saying my water broke and moaning so loud that Karen asked Sarah if she would be able to help me down the hall if I couldn't wait for her to come back. I don't think anyone really answered or I just tuned it out, trying to get through my contraction.
Right after that one, I said, "Let's go!" (if I didn't say it, I was thinking it!). We agreed to get down to the delivery room -- honestly, I'm not sure what anyone else was doing at this time. I was very focused and in tune with my body, so that it felt like everybody around me was running and I was moving at turtle speed.
Every step felt like a contraction and going down the corridor just kept taking longer and longer. I think I stopped every other step to whine and lean against the wall while Sarah spoke encouraging words, helped me to breathe and rubbed my back. I felt so silly not being able to make it down the hall. Finally I got a break and I'm pretty sure we hurried down the hall to the delivery room. It was dark and no one was inside, as everybody was attending to the other lady who was in the delivery room to mine. Navin was right by me with his confident smile, I could tell he was nervous and excited while anticipating the next moment in our lives.
Turning on the lights Sarah, who was kind enough to have brought my pillow too, set up the birthing bed for me. But I really wasn't ready to get on the bed -- I felt that I really had to use the bathroom. We looked in the room for a small bathroom but none was to be found. We looked outside and asked the tending nurse where the restroom was, she pointed down the hall. I'm not sure if her English was misleading or that we misunderstood her, or maybe she took our words literally, but we found ourselves opening the door down the hall that said 'Rest Rooms'. Sounds good, right? Inside was a resting area with a refrigerator -- wrong restroom! Never thought that would happen!
Finally I said I didn't think I could hold it in any longer and urged everyone to look. Sarah found one not far off, in another room. It was only a few steps away and it felt so silly, but I said, "Oh NO, not going to make it, get back to the room!" and that's when my body pushed. I felt the head deep down in my pelvis and I'm pretty sure that if I had stuck my hands down there I would have felt the tip of my baby's head. So we, or rather I, wobbled back down the hall to the delivery room, while my husband and Sarah helped. Sarah went to inform Karen that I was pushing. I think she was a bit surprised because when she came in she could see I was already pushing. She checked me and said "Yep, 10 cm, I'll call the doctor." I remember thinking,"Really? You think the doctor will even make it?"
Everything from here on is an almost out-of-body experience. I was making primal noises (not crying, not screaming but more of a moaning scream -- I'm sure my husband and Sarah and all those attending would vouch differently for the awful sounds I was making, but it felt good!). With my legs tucked into my chest, one hand was on my husband's shoulder and the other in Sarah's hand, which I still apologise for squeezing too hard. I just let my body tell me when to push and I breathed with it. It felt so good to push and go with the contraction than anything else.
At about the third push the doctor came in, the first time I saw her that whole night -- I was lucky that tonight was her 'on call' night. Not sure about what formalities were exchanged or if I had some words for her being late -- you have to excuse the woman in labour! She came and sat before me, helping to guide the baby down and supporting me so that I would not tear too much or she would have to do an episiotomy, as my husband and I had discussed with her beforehand. She was doing great.
I could feel how much she was helping, even though I yelled at her for her nails being too long and scratching me. This wasn't so, actually -- it was what everyone calls 'the ring of fire' -- hate that name, but that's what it was! Instead I could only think that she forgot to trim her nails or take off her rings under her latex gloves and was unaware that she was hurting me, even though that was far from the case!
Soon I heard her say "Okay stop, don't push." I was taken aback. What? Stop pushing? Are you kidding? It was feeling so good to push and she was telling me to stop! I look at Sarah to ask again, "What did she say?" It was the hardest part of the delivery, I was holding my breath (little soft pants) so that I wouldn't push accidentally. After about five minutes of this I started to push again, vocalising and moaning and finally one bearing-down push and pop! He was here!
"That's a pretty big baby," the doctor said and plopped him on my tummy for all to see! I was still vocalising just from being in the moment and realised I could stop. "Sorry baby!" I said as I held him on my tummy. I looked at the huge clock in front of me and stated the time. I smiled at my husband, who was ecstatic that I was so aware that I was able to time his birth. With my first son I passed out and was never really aware of anything as I was "under". This baby was a breath of fresh air, his new baby smell was so sweet and it was good to be alive at that moment in time! A two hour hospital stay and 20 minutes of pushing. It was awesome! We were so energised that my husband and I and the midwife talked until three in the morning (Sarah left around 1:30 am).
Everyone has stories to share from this special period, from delivering en route to the hospital, to being surprised with twins. And we want to hear yours.
So all you mommies and daddies out there, write in to us at getahead@rediff.co.in (subject line: 'My Giving Birth Story') with photographs if possible, of you and your bundles of joy.
We'll publish the best entries right here on rediff.com
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh