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An open letter to every guy on Raksha Bandhan
No, I'm not going to wilfully shake your hand and use that opportunity to forcefully bind a Rakhi to your unsuspecting wrist. Chill. Hi.
You didn't get so lucky.
What exactly do you think is a brother anyway? The nice guy who finished last and has been friend-zoned beyond comfort? The sight of a rakhi on a hand, being an automatic indication for you to observe a moment of silence for that hand owner's murdered chance of ever 'getting some'?!
Puh-lease. I have three Rakhi brothers and they're all twice the men you'll ever be.
Raksha Bandhan, for the uninitiated (glad you've emerged from the rocks finally!), is an age old tradition of a man promising his sister that he shall forever protect her and keep her happiness primary. The story goes that when Bahadur Shah invaded the kingdom of Mewar, the Rajput queen (Karnavati) sent a rakhi to the Mughal emperor, Humayun for help. The latter was in the middle of another military campaign when he received the call for help. Abandoning it he turned his attention to Mewar.
Another similar legend saved Alexander the Great's life. In the earliest recorded instance of Raksha Bandhan, when Alexander invaded India, the Greek ruler's wife hastily approached King Porus with a rakhi. In the nick of time, I'd say, because in the very next battle Alexander fell off his horse and found Porus holding a sword to his neck. A moment later, Porus let him go. He had promised his sister after all.
Times change. Guys, try "I promise to protect you, sister" today. Fulfill the sufficiency conditions to make every feminist's outrage descend upon you... Keep your promise, protection and patriarchal balderdash to yourself, shall be the stock response.
But give us our due. Treat us with respect. Be honourable human beings, not leering during a Guwahati molestation -- yes, I hear you. No, you didn't leer. Thanks for objectifying every female walking out of that mall though. Or standing at a bus stop. Or sitting at Cafe Coffee Day. Or posting on Facebook. Or existing.
We don't need those open doors; give us open minds.
We don't exist to "give you some". In fact we don't exist to give you anything at all. Unless we're your mothers and in that case, you're obliged as hell to us in ways more than the number of solutions to the Rubik's cube, so you can't even start to try.
But we can be your equals, your superiors, your friends, your lovers... and your sisters. A rakhi does not imply you are lesser than the ideal man we look out for ourselves. True, my Rakhi brothers are guys I don't recommend often. Because to find women worthy enough of them is not easy! These are men, I could probably never deserve. Generous, loving, smart, responsible and respectful.
We women, interpret a rakhi on your wrist to signify maturity. That you are perceptive enough to allow another female to tie you one, recognising it as sign of love and friendship.
Why is it that many women fall for their friends' brothers, rakhi or otherwise? Because as rational human beings, we implicitly look for evidence or indicators to substantiate any desirable traits that you put forth. A sibling's testimony for a good brother or son is widely regarded solid enough to make for great friends or partners.
A rakhi too, consequently acquires much value. It is a clear sign of another's confidence in you.
Dude, someone is ready to make you -- a perfect stranger otherwise -- her brother; a part of her family. A position you usually get to occupy only if you've borne being born and raised in the same household, dealing with the same curfews, pillow fights, relatives, gossip, constraints and every other madness. It's like saying "oh yes, you can be known as a Harvard summa cum laude graduate, no matter if you didn't spend every year kindergarten upwards slogging away to earn the same." That Harvard degree, irrespective of what you did or did not learn in the process, is a signalling device.
So when the dorks around you are sniggering at your ill-luck at the rakhi, and thanking their stars that Friendship Day and Rakhi fall on different dates this year... as an economist, let me assure you of the keen role of signalling devices in driving market value.
Heavy.
Let's observe a moment's silence for the bigots who are missing out.
Happy Raksha Bandhan!
Vaishnavi K Nair recently graduated from Singapore Management University as an economics and law graduate