Addicted to porn? How to overcome it

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Porn addiction can be quite difficult to get over and can, as two ministers discovered, be an embarassing one too. Manasi Chaudhari of Lifemojo writes about what causes it and how it can be overcome.

Pornography is a means to satisfy the curiosity about sex among many youngsters.

It is, of course, not recommended but sometimes for some people it may become unavoidable.

Nowadays with the proliferation of internet to the nooks and corners of the world, pornography is just a click away.

Viewing porn to satiate curiosity about sex occasionally is normal. But, frequent viewing of porn to a large extent such as to forget one's family and life and daily affairs only suggests porn addiction.

Ways to Determine Porn Addiction

Repeatedly and compulsively pursues pornography to an extent that it has negative consequences.

Misusing the videos by indulging in unwanted sexual behaviors and inappropriate situations. For example, you could get into trouble if you access the porn at work place or in office.

• Neglecting personal relationships.
• Neglecting work or other hobbies, etc.
• Rearranging your schedule as per watching the porn or making extra time for it.

"You can't measure addiction by the number of hours spent on that particular behaviour.

Instead, you need to examine how it affects their life. Does it interfere with daily activities? Does it affect job performance?"

The sign of the problem is that you wake up with the thought in the mind, carry it throughout the day and sleep with the same thought," says Julie Walther Scheibel, counsellor at Concordia Seminary Counseling and Resource Centre in St. Louis.

Sex therapist Louanne Cole Weston, PhD, thinks that there are three main reasons why people turn to pornography:

• To see their fantasies acted out
• To avoid intimacy in a relationship or
• To simply to aid masturbation
  

Reasons for Porn Addiction: Fantasies

Some feel that porn is necessary for healthy relationship. For instance, if a husband likes oral sex and if the wife does not prefer it then the husband may try to satiate his needs by simply watching it.

Another possible example is when the husband would like to try something in his sex life, but he would find it embarrassing to discuss with his wife. So he may try to watch related pornography with his wife to satisfy his needs.

Reasons for Porn Addiction: To escape intimacy

Another reason for porn addiction is to escape intimacy. Some people just can't stand the thought of intimacy in a relationship. So they would find it difficult to share their secret fantasies with their partner.  The intimacy would be way too high for their own ability to tolerate it, so they save it for elsewhere.

Reasons for Porn Addiction: For arousal

Some may even watch pornography just to arouse themselves or masturbate before indulging in sex.

Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

Reasons for Porn Addiction: Curiosity

Needless to say, curiosity happens to be one of the main factors for watching porn. This usually occurs at the time of puberty when young boys and girls try to educate themselves about sex and sometimes in due course of time they get addicted to it.

According to a study published in the journal Pediatrics, "42 per cent of internet users aged 10 to 17 have been exposed to pornography. By the time these children reach adulthood, pornography can be a pervasive part of their lives and, for some; this can lead to serious problems, such as porn addiction."

Treatment for Porn Addiction

The first step towards treatment is coming to terms with the fact that you have a problem and that you want to treat it by all means.

Friends and family can be a major support. They can begin by talking to the person concerned about it. Also encourage them to seek professional help and reassure them that you are on their side.

Avoid watching porn on the computer or any other means. Stay away from your porn pals.

Treatment would be individual specific but Julie Walther Scheibel suggests a combination of individual and group therapy. A qualified therapist with experience in compulsive sexual behaviours may be required.

Individual counselling: The therapist can address specific issues and set goals so that you recover as soon as possible.  There is a possibility that pornography addicted people can have some other illness as well like depression which also can be treated using individual therapy/counseling.

Group therapy: People with pornography addiction can meet other people with the same issue and discuss openly about the problem. The therapist can arrange for a support group.

Pornography doesn't necessarily have to be a problem when viewed rarely but going overboard can definitely alter your life course. Getting addicted to anything whether it is porn or drugs is not advisable and it is bound to cause trouble in the future invariably. So it is better to recognize the symptoms and seek help for a better life.

Illustration: Uttam Ghosh