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This article was first published 13 years ago

10 ways to energise your sex life

Last updated on: December 14, 2011 16:51 IST

Image: A scene from Basic Instrinct 2
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Note: Our intent here is to provide good and clean content on sexual health. We want to resolve all the mis-conceptions and curiosities about this subject. If you feel uncomfortable because of any article in this section, please let us know.

A woman's sex drive changes with her age because hers is driven by hormones much more complex than that of a man's. As women age, their hormones are on the decline, playing havoc with their sex lives.

The hormonal changes can cause vaginal pain during intercourse because of dryness in the vagina due to lower estrogen levels. According to Dr Judi Chervenak, a reproductive endocrinologist, women's libido and desire are dependent on so many hormonal and emotional factors that it is difficult to figure it out. The problems multiply when the woman hits menopause. However, here are some tips to keep your sexual energies up, whatever your age maybe.

1. Enjoy the experience

Sex should be enjoyable to both partners. If you experience discomfort during sex, then using a lubricant can help ease it. However, remember to use safe, recommended water-based gels like KY jelly. Try and fix any other problems so that there is no discomfort felt during sex.

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10 ways to energise your sex life


2. Exercise regularly

When you exercise regularly, the endorphins released help to make you feel good. Apart from this, there is the added benefit of the exercise helping you keep fit and making you feel good about yourself. Specific exercises like the Kegel exercises which are meant to strengthen the pelvic muscles can help a woman enhance her sexual experience.

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10 ways to energise your sex life


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3. Communicate openly

As with anything in life, communication is important for a good sexual relationship too. Have a frank and open communication with your partner, whether you desire to have a romantic evening or that you are feeling down and all that you desire is a warm hug, or that you are not in the mood to have sex, anything and everything should be communicated in a clear and loving way.

This way, your partner need not be left wondering and will know what to expect. 

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10 ways to energise your sex life


Photographs: A scene from Basic Instinct 2

4. Mood creators

Although there is no scientific affirmation for it, some natural aphrodisiacs like champagne, oysters, and dark chocolates can turn your "not in the mood" days into memorable romantic experiences. You just have to create the ambience for such evenings.

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10 ways to energise your sex life

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5. Medication

While there have been many decades of research done to enhance man's sexuality, there have also been reports that Viagra helps women too to enjoy sex more. In a recent study, the New England Journal of Medicine has stated that a testosterone patch might help a woman enjoy sex better. However, on a sobering note, there is an associated risk of breast cancer, and the patch is yet to be approved by the FDA.

10 ways to energise your sex life


Photographs: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com

6. Get regular check-ups

You might be suffering from some undiagnosed infection or medical condition that is causing you to lose interest in sex. Regular check-ups with your gynecologist will help identify any potential problems immediately and get it treated before they become worse.

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10 ways to energise your sex life


Photographs: Nguyen Huy Kham/Reuters

7. Be positive

You can choose to be happy and enjoy life and all its pleasures. Such a positive outlook will help you enjoy one of life's greatest pleasures. There are few experiences that offer as great a reward as good sex, so make sure you stay in the right frame of mind to enjoy it. You can bring great joy and happiness into each other's lives if you stay positive and cheerful.

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10 ways to energise your sex life


Photographs: Domnic Xavier/Rediff.com

8. Avoid negative thoughts

The corollary to the idea of staying positive and enjoying life is to discard negative thoughts and stop brooding about the negative stuff. Keep reminding yourself that negative thoughts will drag you down while positive thoughts will help you be happy. A negative outlook can only lead to despair and disappointment.

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10 ways to energise your sex life

Image: A scene from Basic Instinct 2

9. Share sensory pleasures

Sex should be thoroughly enjoyable and the senses play an important role in enhancing sexual pleasures. So if any fragrance, music, soft lighting, etc., appeals to either one of you, ensure that you recreate the sensory stimulants to enhance the pleasure of your sex life.

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10 ways to energise your sex life


Photographs: Raj Patidar/Reuters

10. Forget work stress

One of the main reasons why modern couples face problems in their sex life is because they bring home their work load and the related stress. Stopping that can do wonders for your sex life.

Age should not be a limiting factor for enjoying sexual pleasures. If required, professional counseling can be sought if stress or such factors are interfering with your ability to enjoy your sex life as before.

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