Vote: The most embarrassing office bloopers

Image: Sending out an inappropriate e-mail / message to the wrong person
Photographs: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com Abhishek Mande

Abhishek Mande lists the 10 office bloopers to steer clear of. Illustrations: Uttam Ghosh.

Vote for your top pick!

The workplace is an endless source of humour. Be it by the coffee machine or in the boardroom, it is impossible that you haven't been witness to an embarrassing situation at your office. Or worse still been in one yourself!

Imagine walking into your office in a pair of sleek new trousers feeling on top of the world and being told that your zipper's open. Or else managing to wet them in the loo!

Or worst of all -- opening a personal PowerPoint presentation of Playboy pictures during an office presentation...in full view of the entire top brass.

The list of such bloopers is possibly endless. Here are 10 situations that we think you might want to steer clear of... or else just laugh out loud in retrospect:

Sending out an inappropriate e-mail/message to the wrong person

Instant Messengers or internal IMs can be the bane of your existence if you aren't careful about who you are sending the message out to.

Ditto for e-mails that prompt you with a list of addresses the moment you hit any random letter on your keyboard.

Imagine a raunchy e-mail meant for your girlfriend/boyfriend reaching a colleague sitting across your bay! Worse still, imagine if s/he responds...

Another instance that at least a handful of us will be able to relate to is when an e-mail venting against your boss ends up in his/her inbox rather than with the person you wanted to send it to! Do we see you nod in agreement?

How to deal with it

The best way is to simply ignore it happened! Chances are that the other person would be squirming in his/her seat too.

and register your votes on the last slide...

Getting caught by a colleague who you're bitching about

Image: Getting caught by a colleague who you're bitching about

This one's a classic dating back to the time before e-mails were invented, coffee machines came into existence and when you could smoke cigarettes at your desk!

Let's admit it -- most of us love to gossip. But some of us are just incorrigible loudmouths, driven by the innate need to share the latest news with everyone willing to listen -- be it about Priyanka Chopra's latest appearance with Shahid Kapur in a swanky restaurant or that of your boss and his secretary in the office cafeteria.

And while Priyanka wouldn't care much about an office loudmouth like you...the secretary and her boss in all probability will.

How to deal with it

Bite your tongue and move on. If you must, apologise to the colleague and never pass her/his line of vision. Ever!

and register your votes on the last slide...

Realising you've worn a revealing dress

Image: Realising you've worn a revealing dress

The general rule about workplace dressing is that a dark colour dress goes well with dark colour underwear and that the v-necks of your tee work best if they're as close to your neck as possible.

Now both these rules can be ignored of course if you're walking the ramp for a lingerie brand.

How to deal with it

Stick to your seat for as long as you can. At the end of the day, call for a cab and make a dash for the door. Alternatively, if you got it, flaunt it!

and register your votes on the last slide...

Entering the wrong loo

Image: Entering the wrong loo

Okay, so here's the thing about toilets -- the door marked WOMEN is meant for female employees of an organisation and the one marked MEN is, well, for men.

The ideal way to go about it is to look on the door and see which one is meant for you. If you have a strong urge to enter the other one, you need to enter the door that reads 'Doctor is IN'.

How to deal with it

Turn around and run into the loo you're supposed to be in. Hopefully s/he won't follow you there.

and register your votes on the last slide...

Walking into a glass door

Image: Walking into a glass door

Remember that saying about people who live in glasshouses? Well they probably forgot to write one about those who work in offices with glass doors.

It's pretty simple actually -- those who do, shouldn't be tweeting, texting or talking on their phones while they stroll from one place to another pretending to be busy. There is a good chance that some of us must've learnt the hard way.

How to deal with it

The embarrassment of it all actually comes in much later. The first step is to deal with the initial shock. You've possibly broken your glasses and your nose is probably bleeding. You can start by looking for ice.

and register your votes on the last slide...

Getting drunk at an office party and abusing your employer/boss

Image: Getting drunk at an office party and abusing your employer/boss

Everyone likes an office party. The booze is free, your guard's down, colleagues are high and for a change the boss doesn't mind the garrulous bantering.

Everything's great till the time you stand on the table, glass in hand, sloshed to high heaven and tell everyone about the sounds that emerge from your boss's toilet.

If that isn't bad enough, someone has been ingenious enough to record a video of it all and post it on YouTube!

How to deal with it

Be a man. Walk up to your boss the next day, tell him it wasn't personal and basically grovel so you can keep your job.

If you're a woman, remember the time your deep-neck dress embarrassed you? Well, now's the time to pull it out!

and register your votes on the last slide...

Getting caught surfing online job portals

Image: Getting caught surfing online job portals

Yet another classic scenario that happens when your Alt+Tab isn't as fast as your boss.

Truth is everyone surfs job sites sooner or later. Some do it out of a need to get the heck out of their current job. Others like to do it just out of curiosity.

Either way it isn't very correct to use your company's bandwidth for personal use.

Definitely not if you're already downloading music and playing Farmville during office hours!

How to deal with it

Tell your boss you were helping him look for a better and higher paying job. He might just buy it!

and register your votes on the last slide...

Getting caught in an inappropriate situation with a colleague

Image: Getting caught in an inappropriate situation with a colleague

The elevator, your boss's office, your office and the coffee machine corner are some of the popular spots to get cosy.

But there is possibly nothing more embarrassing than being caught making out with a colleague -- primarily because the situation involves (at least) one other person besides you!

How to deal with it

One option is to invite the intruder, leaving him/her flummoxed.

The other is to turn around and say, "I'm glad you're here!" And then make a call to security and blast them for not spotting anything unusual on the CCTV.

and register your votes on the last slide...

Someone telling you about your bad breath or smelly armpits

Image: Someone telling you about your bad breath or smelly armpits

It's one thing when a friend tells you about it. But when it's a colleague who confronts you about body odour or bad breath, it's time to take him/her seriously.

Sure there are ways to get rid of it. But what about that moment when you are told you're a walking, talking stench bomb?

hatever you do, don't open your mouth in your defence or bend over and hug your colleague to apologise -- chances are you'll kill him/her.

How do deal with it

Send out an e-mail that it's your way of fighting global warming -- you're saving water, not using chemicals and trying hard to go as natural as possible.

Heck, maybe you can even try inviting a few people to join your cause. Greenpeace would be proud of you.

and register your votes on the last slide...

Spilling coffee on a PYT

Image: Spilling coffee on a PYT

It's the most likely situation you can get into.

Look at the odds -- there are at least a handful of people by the coffee machine at any given point. You with your butterfingers walk up in the hope of chatting up the PYT* who's joined your office.

You're standing right behind her trying to look cool with a cup of cappuccino wondering how to break the ice when she swings around.

Defying laws of gravity the liquid flies straight up and then lands on her new pink Allen Solly top. Could there be anything worse? Erm. Possibly not!

How to deal with it

Whatever you do, don't try to act smart and make some stupid comment involving her coming over to your house to change. She won't.

Introduce yourself as the office dork and get the hell out of the there.

*PYT=Pretty Young Thing, dodo!

and register your votes on the last slide...

Vote: The most embarrassing office situation

Image: Vote for the most embarrassing office situation

So which do you think makes for the most embarrassing office blooper? Vote for your pick!

More