 | « Back to article | Print this article |
"What you should do depends on what she wants to do.
"If she is fine with going ahead with her marriage to someone, I suggest you too move on in life, you really have no other choice.
"No one's life is perfect, don't get taken by the images of perfect human beings and lives that you see.
"We all have to play with the cards we were dealt with, quitting is not an option.
In a weekly chat with readers every Thursday, Rediff's Love Guru addresses their relationship problems and offers solutions.
For those who missed the chat on April 02, 2015, here's the transcript!
darshan: I am married since 12 year, hav kids but don't like wife as she is not within any parameters of beauty, also not equally educated or of suitable mindset.
Life seems frustrated for taking bad decision of marring under some strange complaining circumstance.
I am feeling alone and loveless depressed life. much obsessed and crave for love, what to do? or wait for 2nd life ?
Love Guru: Darshan, that's a wonderfully self-centred description of your life.
When you run down your wife, I hope you have similar harsh, real parameters about yourself too.
The point I am trying to make is that no one's life is perfect, don't get taken by the images of perfect human beings and lives that you see. We all have to play with the cards we were dealt with, quitting is not an option.
KATKURI PADMAVATHI: hi I'm padmavathi I loved one person but his family was not good but I want dat person maried so wat should i do? Give suggestion.
Love Guru: Katkuri Padmavati, what happens to his family which you found was not good?
They became good after that? The point about marriage is that not just two persons get married, two families also come together. So, think through it
VEENA-SARSHETTY: hi lg I'm in relationship with my bf last 3 yrs but in this 3 yrs 3 times he broke up with me but now still he with me.
He is muslim and im hindu now his parents have choosen girl for him. He says till we are together will be in relationship later on you marry somebody else. kindly guide me, I love him a lot.
Love Guru: Veena-Sarshetty,since he is getting married it will be good for you also to move on.
Don't get taken in by talk that you can continue your relationship after his marriage, he's only taking you for granted.
You will not only be ruining your life but also another woman's life. Drop this idea, and get ahead with your life just now.
vatsalya pareek: Hi LG. I m married n have 16 yrs old son. I was separated from my husband for several yrs.
In between, he got remarried and has a 8 yr old daughter.
Two years ago, he left his 2nd wife and we reunited. All goes smooth but he does not share a father-son attachment with our son.
Love Guru: Vatsalya Pareek, that's a terrible thing. Have you spoken to him about it?
Since he's been back with you for 2 years, it's sufficient time to overcome any initial difficulties, so it is a little unusual for this to happen. I'd suggest talking to him about it and finding out why.
Zara Khan: so there is one guy on whom I'm having crush on for almost 3 yrs.. i met him through social media.. yea.. I haven't yet met him.. but something just holds me to him.. I don't know what.. I did say abt my love to him.. bt he just simply said.. forget all those feelings.. I was trying a lot.. bt couldnt.. i still love him. plz help
Love Guru: Zara Khan, since he has evinced no interest in you, what can you do expect drop this crush business?
Of course, you can continue behaving in this adolescent manner and waste your time, but it is clear that is not going to change his mind.
The question is, can you change your mind and move on?
deepak anand: HI LG, I don't think my GF loves me any more I think she is having a affair with someone what should I do ?
Love Guru: Deepak Anand, have you asked her about it? Or do you plan to let suspicion destroy your relationship, not to mention your peace of mind?
ANUJ RAUT: I was in relationship for 5 yrs with my love.
She was under her parents' pressure to marry a guy of their community and now her marriage is fixed which is after two months and she has broken all contacts wid me wht should I do nw?
Love Guru: Anuj Raut, you have a couple of options. What you should do depends on what she wants to do. If she is fine with going ahead with her marriage to someone, I suggest you too move on in life, you really have no other choice.
vikas kaushik: hello I love a girl,she also say that she love me,but always she search option for money ,or shopping,and often I found her lying to me but I love her, so me unable to leave her. What should i do?
Love Guru: Vikas Kaushik, I am unable to get a proper picture from your query but since you love her, I'd say stick by her, no one's perfect after all.
zara: hi love gurumera bf sab kuch thik hai but aj 3 yres se apni gharwalo se bt nh krta mjhe lekr bolta hai karnge but nh meri ghrwali sab jaan chuki h but uski ghr pr koye nh q plz help
Love Guru: Zara, this is a question you should ask your boyfriend, why hasn't he told his family about you, assuming that the two of you are serious about each other.
The obvious conclusion is that he has no long-term plans with you, but maybe he has other valid reason for not doing so. Have you asked him about it?
SIKENDER: hi, I am married but I fall in love. I love very much that girl i thinks she like me what I do?
Love Guru: Sikender, do nothing. It's okay to think loose thoughts, fantasise, but stay within the limits of your marriage.
It is easy to get tempted, but trust me, nothing is worth the problems that come along with it.
Arjun Krishnan: I am married, but I and my wife are not having enough sex. My mind is actively convincing me to have an affair.
I have no affair or relationship with anybody as yet, but I might have one very soon. Do help me decide. Thanks.
Love Guru: Arjun Krishnan, the answer lies in your question, where you say: 'My wife and I are not having enough sex."
If you did, your mind won't stray down adulterous paths, which do not lead to a bed of roses.
If the problem is with you solve it. If the problem is with your wife, find out what it is and solve it.
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
Also read
Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.