 | « Back to article | Print this article |
An insecure, dominating, assertive man is the furthest thing you need in a relationship, says Avantika Debnath.
So you guys have been together since like forever and you have no idea where this relationship is going.
You are struggling every minute of the day to keep this vibe alive, but there is just so less that you could do to make it work.
There are hints scattered all around screaming at you, everything about you two is wrong in so many levels, but you choose to stay oblivious to the obvious.
Allow me to break it down for you.
1. "Why did you add him in Facebook?"
You must appreciate that he is possessive and shivers to the thought of Vicky's eyes roving on you.
Also, it is okay to have one less friend in your list in the benefit of your relationship.
However, if he has a problem with Ricky, Sunil, Mohan, Asif, Satpal and Saif too, perchance the actual problem is not your friendship with these men, the problem here is the one you are dating.
Insecure men are injurious to the mental health of an independent women.
2. "You look like a hooker in this dress"
And all you are wearing is a knee-length, sleeveless dress.
Apparently, this same guy found you so hot in that thigh-high, halter neck, that he had to ask you out and ended up dating you for years.
But NOW, that you are HIS girlfriend you need to alter that entire wardrobe of yours.
Well, if I were your bestie and wore the same size, I'd say, "Do it for love, maybe I can borrow that purple top, that green skirt, the silver dress, and….."
But I am here to vocalise facts -- your choices are your personality. They reckon your lifestyle.
Of course you can skip on a top grown skimpier beyond decency, but if he disapproves of everything you ever wrapped yourself in, and stresses only in salwar-kameez and sarees, this relationship can use some serious reflection.
3. "Mere babu ne susu kiya?"
Indeed technology has enabled constant connectivity, but you really don't have to follow it to the literal translation.
Having an account of your beloved's every breath is 'cute' in case of teenagers cherishing first love, not for grown-ass men in their 14th relationship.
You don't really need to report to him everything you are doing, how you are doing, and when you are doing.
It might appear 'so romantic' on the surface but the fact is if he calls/texts/stalks you round the clock, either he is too suspicious of you, or he doesn't have a life.
4: "Try and understand, yaar!"
Assuring your beloved that you are totally invested in him speaks of compassion.
But are you sure, your extended availability and flexibility hasn't graduated into gullibility?
Do you find yourself on the back burner while his friends, relatives, job, and a hoard of other responsibilities are claiming the better of him?
Nothing can reduce you to your lowest form than being taken for granted by the one you love.
A relationship is worth of being understanding, but understand your own worth too.
#5:. "What will you do with that degree?"
Being a 21st century independent woman you might want to earn an identity for yourself.
When your relationship stands as an obstacle in the way of your dreams, it is basically going astray.
If you pursue a career or a hobby, and all your boyfriend expects out of you to sit at home, take care of the chores, gossip with mom-in-law and other aunties of the neighbourhood, it is time you rethink all the consequences.
A relationship is built by two individuals, both of whom are equally accountable to guide the sail towards safe harbours.
However, given that you are the only one cradling it, it's high time you deliberate on your future together, or the absence of it.
An insecure, dominating, assertive man is the furthest thing you need in a relationship. You better lose that loser, girl!
Avantika Debnath is the author of The Bridal Pyre. Click here to read an excerpt from the book!
Lead image used for representational purposes only.