 | « Back to article | Print this article |
If your ultimate goal is to get married and you are going on a first and second date with someone dreamy, don't blurt out the marriage countdown, says Solene Paillet. You will scare this perfect match away!
Maybe you are just dipping your toe in the waters, maybe you are back on apps after a breakup, or maybe you've been doing it forever and suspect you could be having a better time of it.
Online dating is that ingrained in our cultural dating roadmap today, where not friends and family, but algorithms are the go-to matchmaker for people looking for love.
So, whether you’ve been on umpteen dates with people you’ve met online, or are still preparing for your first, we here are with few tips to ace up your game:
1. Quality over quantity
This doesn’t only go for dating apps themselves, but also for people.
Several right swipe matches in a row might give you satisfaction, but it won’t help you find an actual, supportive, dependable, loyal partner -- if that’s what you’re really looking for.
Don't only swipe for looks. Pause to analyse pictures and read bios to figure out if the match could actually be right for you.
2. Be unique and specific in your profile
Everyone likes to have fun, okay? They like hanging out with friends, listening to music, and going out.
So tell people something which they don’t know about you, like that the beer you brewed in your backyard last summer and won first prize in a home brewing contest, or that you are an excellent karaoke performer.
Being specific not only helps you stand out but also gives an easy conversation opener.
3. Do go beyond photos when matching and liking
People post tempting pictures and glamour shots on their profiles of dating apps.
Even though photos are very important, don't discard a potential match just because of their appearance.
When choosing a partner, looks are only one part of the equation.
Give personality more weight, and swipe left on guys and gals you know wouldn't be good for you, even if they are hot. You will get higher quality matches.
4. IRL-- No more to be delayed
If you’ve been messaging each other online since quite a sometime, the natural next step is to meet each other IRL (in real life!) and see if you connect offline.
Figuring out the appropriate timing can present a variety of challenges, especially if you and your potential date have differing expectations, comfort levels, and preferences regarding pace and timing.
5. No more clichés
Did anyone say, 'long romantic walks on the beach?'
Ugh. Clichés are terrible.
We live in an era where inauthentic people have a serious shot at seeming authentic simply by copying other people they observe on TV, movies or the internet. And that’s where clichés are born.
Try just to be yourself. You’re awesome.
6. Go on your date with realistic expectations
Make sure you are realistic about the one with whom you are going on a date.
Sometimes the rollercoaster of high hopes and dashed dreams can get online daters down, as they navigate virtually endless romantic possibilities that all seem to lead to disappointment.
If you enter every date thinking 'This could be The One,' you are probably not going to enjoy the experience very much.
7. Mysterious is sexy
Avoiding being completely available at all times. Being a little strategic never hurts.
If there is a back and forth, wait a few hours to respond and keep the interaction fun and light.
Live your life, and if it is right, it will work out.
Play it casual and let your intuitions guide you.
8. Live in the moment
Being a good listener, an engaging conversationalist, and pragmatic dater can help you avoid online dating burnout.
As you are putting your focus and energy on enjoying the date at hand -- instead of looking ahead to the unknowable future.
Live in the moment, and don’t get too far ahead of yourself, and you will get more out of the dating experience.
9. Have a thick skin
Sometimes, you are just not someone's cup of tea, and you need to be OK with that.
Some people who use online dating sites have hyper-specific standards that they seek, and you just might be an inch too tall, a shade of blond too light or not enough of a science fiction fanatic as the online players are looking for. Or maybe you look too much like the ex who broke his heart. His loss.
10. Try on buffet style
Go on as many first dates as possible.
It's just a number game, and you can dramatically improve your odds of success by doing a little work ahead of time.
Step out of your shell, experience unexplored territories and let your heart decide. You only need to meet one person who could change your life forever.
11. Don't jump to the finish line
Be honest about what you are looking for in a partner. But don't let your aspirations to get married and have kids get in the way when you first start dating someone.
If your ultimate goal is to get married and you are going on a first and second date with someone dreamy, don't blurt out the marriage countdown.
You will scare this perfect match away!
Don't jump to that finish line just yet. Enjoy the process, get to know the person before you drag them into your pre-written agenda.
Dating is a time to discover more about yourself through a relationship with others.
So when it comes to keeping online dating fun, sanity is the key to success.
Follow these tips to change your perspective and next thing you never know; you could be residing in a duplex in an expensive area with the love of your life you met on a dating app.
Who knows! A person can dream, right?
Solene Paillet is marketing specialist, Gleeden, a discreet extramarital dating site for women. She can be contacted on ga@rediff-inc.com.