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Sex must be enjoyed equally by both you and your partner and consent is pivotal before getting into the act, says Gaurav Gupta.
Sex, a primordial act, the only one that makes life possible on earth even in this age of technological marvels, is a taboo to talk about.
We are almost in 2020; travesty can never get more trenchantly intriguing.
Fifty years since Dylan's dulcet declaration of changing times, we are still writing blogs to make sex-talk and sex-education socially acceptable.
Right from the time boys come into their sexuality till they are grown-up men, discourse on sex remains a taboo, as the act is considered a highly secret, private and impersonal affair.
Time is now ripe for us to have the courage and honesty to accept sex as a normal human reality, and do our best in expunging the taboo associated with it.
Let's begin with the ten things that all Indian men should get about sex:
1. Consent is sexy
Consent is the sexiest move you can make on your lady.
Ask her if it's all right. Ask her if it's too much.
Sex is only fun when both are okay with each base you cover.
2. Value emotions
Sex is not a performance contest, but the ultimate expression and celebration of love and passion and an intimate game of lovers.
It is the quality of your bonding that matters. It is a proven truth that couples go for a close, intimate and emotional connection. So kiss each other to bliss!
3. Communication is the game changer
Communication, which you thought is unnecessary, is a game-changer in the art of making love.
The more you talk about what you like about sex with your partner, the more you open up and this immensely helps in making love in a better and mutually satisfying way.
Also, euphemism of any kind is the greatest killjoy when it comes to sex. If you are in the mood, then just say. That's strikingly sexy!
4. Be clean
Body odour, dirty or sweaty shirt will be your greatest undoing.
Make use of a good cologne. Keep in mind that hygiene is not just important at the start of sex but also after.
You'd rather keep yourself clean to avoid any sorts of health concerns not just for you, but your partner as well.
A good smelling man can be fatally attractive!
5. Sex is never one-way traffic
You need to be very clear that it is a mutually satisfying act and being selfish ruins it all.
Sex must be enjoyed equally by both you and your partner and consent is pivotal before getting into the act.
6. Be attentive
If your partner is the shy type and you're shooting blanks in the dark, then you have to slow down.
Pay attention to how she responds to your touch. Her body should be your favourite book.
Read the reactions; let the sultry touch and seduction be your guide.
7. Foreplay is the trick of the game
Although penetration might be the most sought out process to begin having sex with your partner, it wouldn't be a great experience for not just your partner, but for you as well.
The reason this could be a downside is that there is such a thing as lubrication, which needs foreplay.
8. Size does NOT matter
It's all a hoax, the sites you may be visiting and the idea that comes from them will portray an alpha male with alpha parts.
It's not a 'work with what you get' kind of attitude that should come your way but more an 'enjoy what you have.'
9. Chill with the performance anxiety; it's not the end of the world
Premature ejaculation isn't just worry; it's a fear. But then, climax anxiety takes over.
Tackle the performance anxiety by having a conversation with your partner, listening to music together, or cuddling and similar 'together activities.'
10. There is no time to climax
Before we finish, it's normal to 'finish' quick. Science has confirmed there is no 'normal' amount of time to have sex.
People range from 33 seconds to a whopping 44 minutes.
It's natural to 'go' when your brain tells you to- just train it to let that last a bit longer. It comes with a bit of practice.
Gaurav Gupta is co-founder, Misters.in, a wellness brand that addresses men's health issues, including sexual health. He can be contacted on ga@rediff-inc.com.