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If you suspect infidelity, look for patterns instead of relying solely on your fears.
Changes in phone habits, secrecy about his whereabouts and emotional detachment can be red flags but they don't always mean your partner is having an affair, suggests rediffGURU Kanchan Rai.
How do I find out if my husband is cheating on me?
What should I do if I suspect my husband is having an affair?
Does emotional unavailability count as cheating?
rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, relationship coach and founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, urges you to discuss your problems so you can seek solutions and transform your life.
Anonymous: Two years ago, I got married to my boss after dating for three years.
He was previously married and had wanted me to quit my job and take care of my family.
The first year went well but his behaviour changed after our first wedding anniversary.
He has now been staying late at work, avoiding my calls and often goes on outstation meetings while I take care of his ageing parents and five-year-old son from his first wife.
My mother suspects he may be having an affair. I am 32.
Since our communication has reduced, I feel stuck and helpless at home.
My friends tell me that after marriage, most men behave the same way.
Is it true?
Am I overthinking too much? How do I find out?
Your concerns are valid and it's important to address them rather than dismiss them as overthinking.
While some men do get comfortable and less expressive after marriage, a sudden shift in behaviour -- like avoiding calls, staying late at work frequently and increased travel -- should not be ignored. It's not about being paranoid but about seeking clarity.
The best way to find out what's going on is to have an honest, calm conversation with him.
Express your feelings without accusations. Let him know you've noticed the change and that you miss the closeness you once shared.
Observe his response -- whether he reassures you, avoids the conversation or gets defensive. His reaction will give you insights into whether there’s something deeper happening.
At the same time, take a step back and focus on yourself. Reconnect with your own aspirations, hobbies and friends.
A strong sense of self will not only help you cope emotionally but also give you the confidence to make informed decisions about your relationship.
If you suspect infidelity, look for patterns instead of relying solely on your fears.
Changes in phone habits, secrecy about his whereabouts and emotional detachment can be red flags but they don't always mean your partner is having an affair.
If you feel you need more clarity, trust your intuition but avoid jumping to conclusions without evidence.
Regardless of the outcome, you deserve a relationship where you feel valued and heard. If his behaviour continues to make you feel lonely and unimportant, you may need to consider what you truly want from this marriage.
Seeking support from a counsellor or someone you trust can help you navigate your emotions and options more clearly.
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