 | « Back to article | Print this article |
Rebuilding trust takes time, effort and communication.
While it's important to acknowledge what happened, try to focus on the present and what you both can do to nurture your relationship moving forward, advises relationship coach rediffGURU Kanchan Rai.
Is your partner cheating on you?
How do you deal with infidelity before and after a marriage?
rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, elationship coach and founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, urges you to discuss your problems so you can seek solutions and transform your life.
Anonymous: I have been married for a few months and recently found out that my husband was secretly talking to his workmate about two months before our wedding.
I saw their conversations, and it seemed like they were flirting with each other.
When I confronted him, he clarified that it was nothing and assured me that nothing happened between them.
Despite his explanation, I feel confused about whether I made the right decision in marrying him.
We had an honest conversation, and he told me everything. However, I still have doubts, especially since we will be in a long-distance relationship again.
To reassure me, he promised not to talk to anyone inappropriately, gave me access to all his account passwords, and even installed a CCTV so I could monitor him while he's away.
I love him dearly and want to move forward with our future, but I can't shake the doubt. What if he does it again?
Please help me; I don't know what to do.
The fact that your husband has been open and taken steps to reassure you, like sharing his passwords and even installing a CCTV, shows that he's trying to rebuild trust and be transparent.
These actions suggest he's serious about addressing your concerns and committed to making you feel secure in the relationship.
That said, rebuilding trust isn't something that happens instantly. It takes time, consistent effort and ongoing communication.
It's important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself the space to process them.
Feeling doubt after something like this is a normal response but it doesn't have to define your relationship going forward.
It's vital to keep the lines of communication open. Talk openly about your feelings, worries and needs. This kind of dialogue can help both of you understand each other better and strengthen your bond.
You might also find it helpful to discuss and agree on clear boundaries for interactions with others, especially given the long-distance aspect of your relationship. This can help create a sense of security and prevent misunderstandings.
While it's important to acknowledge what happened, try to focus on the present and what you both can do to nurture your relationship moving forward.
If you find that your doubts and anxieties are overwhelming, seeking guidance from a couples' therapist might be beneficial. A therapist can help facilitate deeper conversations and provide strategies to rebuild trust and strengthen your relationship.
It's okay to feel unsure but do recognise the effort your husband is putting in.
Trust takes time to rebuild but with love, dedication, and mutual effort, you can move forward together. Remember, it's a journey and it's okay to take things one step at a time.
Please Note: The questions and answers in this advisory are published to help the individual asking the question as well the large number of readers who read the same.
While we value our readers' requests for privacy and avoid using their actual names along with the question whenever a request is made, we regret that no question will be answered personally on e-mail.
All content and media herein is written and published online for informational purposes only. It should not be relied on as your only source of advice.
