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f you have not scored as well as you expected in your exams or have failed altogether, you may be going through a difficult time.
You may feel guilty about not having risen to your parents' expectations.
You may feel confused about what to do next and the avenues open to you.
You may feel depressed and find that you are unable to deal with these low feelings.
You could even feel suicidal.
Feeling suicidal?
If you feel suicidal, inform your parents about your state of mind and get help (See Feeling depressed? Call these numbers).
Remember, suicide is just a means to run away from the situation and, if you stop to think about it, you will not like yourself for even attempting it.
If you know someone who has not done well and talks about suicide, try to talk him/ her out of it. Inform his/ her parents and get help.
Encourage and be supportive of him/ her, explain this just a minor setback. Keep in touch with him/ her. Maybe the support you extend will help him/ her deal with this difficult period.
Here are some tips for all those of you who are feeling down and out now that your results are finally out.
Tap your strengths
~ Accept your marks. If you know you could have done well but did not, do not feel disheartened. This phase is not permanent. So cheer up. Often, luck has a role to play too.
~ Do not compare yourself with those who have got good marks; it will dampen your spirit even more. Positive thinking and confidence in one's abilities is very essential. Writing down your strengths would be a good idea.
~ Try to recall how you coped with a similar situation in the past. It's time to exercise that strategy once again!
Share your feelings with your parents
Instead of blaming yourself or focusing on what you do not have, try to talk it out with parents, close friends or any other person with whom you are comfortable. Your intense low feelings need an outlet.
There have been instances where students lie to their parents about their marks. Taking your parents into confidence is very important. They may initially shout or be disappointed, but they will definitely help in the long run in terms of choosing career options/ alternatives.
Get help and guidance
~ If you are feeling very depressed and cannot cope with the stress, you must seek professional help. See a psychiatrist/ counsellor/ therapist who can help you deal with the stress.
~ An aptitude test or career counselling will help you know your abilities and interest patterns; this way, you can decide on the right career choice.
Stay positive, plan ahead
~ Try to look at your failure in a positive way and as a learning curve for the future instead of thinking about your mistakes.
~ 'I can do well and I will do well'. This must be your motto henceforth. Also, remind yourself this is a passing phase and you will get over it.
~ Write down your thoughts; this will help improve your sense of clarity.
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Malini Shah is a youth counsellor at Aavishkar Clinic and conducts aptitude tests for students.