A mental disorder is not a sign of failure

Remember that it's ok to feel low at times.
It's ok to not be ok. But it's not ok not to seek help, says Manasi Thakker.

Photograph: Kind courtesy Pixabay.com

We live in an age where our society is constantly telling us to be happy.

Our Instagram feeds are filled with images of exotic vacations, fancy dinners, graduations, wedding bells, lean waists and broad shoulders.

It is such that media is constantly trying to portray a picture of eternal happiness which in reality is very momentary in nature.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of believing that what we see behind our screens is the entire truth.

It is very easy to believe that everyone has it all together and that their life is constant bed of roses.

Statistics show that at least 13. 7 percent of India’s general population has been projected to be suffering from mental illness.

Almost 150 million Indians are in need of urgent psychiatric intervention, according to a study by Nimhans.

Statistics also show that 10 to 20 per cent of children and adolescents experience mental disorders.

Half of all mental health conditions start by 14 years of age but most cases are undetected and untreated.

Most shockingly, every one hour a student commits suicide in India.

So what to do when we are not ok?

When things aren’t going as you planned?

When negative thoughts and self-doubts overwhelm your mind?

What to do when you find yourself or someone you know struggling with their school, work or social life?

When you can’t seem to find a solution for your problems?

When it’s difficult to understand the suffering?

Here are a few things you can do to address mental health issues.

Acknowledge that 'you are not ok'

The first step to bringing any kind of change is to accept that there is a problem.

Many a times we live in denial of our problems because it is difficult to accept that we can have problems.

We are in constant struggle to be perfect in everything we do.

Many times we have a sense of shame or failure attached to mental health problems.

However what we fail to understand is that unless we acknowledge our problems we won’t be able to take necessary actions to resolve it.

Even though the situation is not ideal, there is nothing wrong in struggling.

Talking openly to others

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issue, talk to others as openly and as honestly as possible.

This helps us build our capacity to tolerate painful experiences and also to know in that difficult period that we are not alone.

Unless we tell others how we are feeling, it is difficult to expect them to understand our suffering.

Educating yourself about warning signs and mental illnesses

One of the most empowering ways to help yourself and others is by learning about early warning signs of mental health difficulties.

Once you are aware of signs and symptoms, it becomes easier to identify and provide accurate type of intervention.

Don’t use dismissive language

It is very important to be mindful of our talking when in conversation with someone who is suffering.

Do not say statements that convey that whatever they are feeling is not true or that they are plain overthinking, instead acknowledge their thoughts and emotions.

Statements like 'You’ll get over it', 'Everything will be fine', 'You are worrying too much' do not help rather may make things worse.

Reassure them that you are beside them in their struggle and ask them 'What can I do to support you better right now?”

Breathe

You may have heard this many times, but it deserves a repetition.

Breathing is the most effective way to get yourself centered.

Put one hand on your belly and the other on your chest.

Inhale for four seconds or more to fill your chest with air.

Hold on. And breathe for a moment; exhale through your mouth.

Repeat this exercise every time you feel on the edge and feel yourself getting grounded.

Consult a mental health specialist

Consulting a psychiatrist or psychologist for someone struggling with mental health can be very helpful in reducing the suffering attached with various disorders.

Reminding yourself of the benefits of consulting a specialist while remembering that mental health issues can be managed can be a liberating experience.

There is no shame in seeking help rather it is an act of courage to ask for help.

Remember 'It's ok not to be ok'

Youth is a time of storm and stress.

There are a lot of changes you deal with like transitioning from schools and colleges, relationship status, peer groups, physical changes and a constant struggle to fit in.

Mental health issues are as common as physical health issues.

Having a mental health disorder does not mean you are weak or that you are incapable; it only means that some chemicals in your brain have gone haywire and you need assistance dealing with life more realistically.

Having a mental disorder is not a sign of failure. It is a sign of how things can be better than what they are at present.

When we are unwell, we go to a doctor for help. Then why hesitate to see a mental health specialist for the betterment of our mental health?

It is important for us to remember that it’s ok to feel low at times.

It's OK to not be OK. But it's NOT OKAY not to seek help.

Manasi Thakker is psychologist and outreach associate, M Power, the centre.

 Lead image published for representational purposes only.