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Contra-dating is all about pushing boundaries. rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO ofthe online dating app Quack Quack, lists 10 reasons why everyone should try it at least once.
The latest buzzword in the dating world is contra-dating.
It can easily flip the age-old dating script by 360 degrees.
So what is this trend about?
Contra-dating is a practice where, instead of following the conventional pattern of having a checklist of things one prefers in a person and finding someone who ticks at least 50 per cent of those boxes, people come out of their comfort zones and date those who directly challenge 'their regular type'; essentially, go out with someone whom they usually would not date.
This isn't limited to traditional dating; you can extend it to trying out new activities in the relationship that, as a couple, you normally wouldn't, questioning general societal expectations and/or restructuring the old relationship dynamics.
Contra-dating is all about pushing the boundaries.
And here are 10 reasons why everyone should try it at least once:
1. Break the cycle
Consistently choosing the same kind of person and ending up with an unsuccessful relationship can be frustrating.
People habitually gravitate towards the similar partners because the relationship seems familiar and comfortable but it does not ensure that they are making an ideal match.
Contra-dating can be the best way to break that cycle. It widens the dating pool and allows daters to find quality matches outside the bubble.
2. Alter the routine
Dating can become mundane and routine after a while.
With contra-dating, couples can break free of the routine and try out new activities they wouldn't have otherwise chosen.
Maybe, for the first date, instead of going for a romantic dinner, they can try out a fun walk or find their compatibility through a cooking class.
This trend not only drives people to explore a new partner type but also pushes them to bond in ways that are not traditional.
Stepping out of habits can be liberating and allows a fresher perspective on life and love.
3. Ditch the list
With contra-dating, there is no list.
Daters are just winging it and, if their vibes match, so do they.
It allows more room for pleasant surprises where you may discover each other better.
4. Shatter social norms
Societal norms have dictated relationships for a long time -- how to date, whom to date, who should be your perfect match.
But new age daters are saying 'no' to convention.
Contra-dating rejects this dictatorship and also the 'timeline' set by society.
So, if a couple wants to extend their chatting phase and meet IRL (in real life) later than what's deemed 'normal', they can and they should.
There's no pressure to impress society.
5. Scope for emotional growth
To move out of the comfort zone and shake things, one has to begin by digging deeper; contra-dating needs introspection to be successful.
This road does not necessarily lead to the right relationship but will surely direct daters toward a more emotionally mature dating journey.
It offers the chance to have newer and more meaningful conversations and helps people embrace openness.
6. Make it fun
The moment dating starts to feel like a chore, finding love becomes even more difficult.
Contra-dating brings back the fun in dating.
From ditching the list to spontaneously connecting with someone solely based on your vibes, it injects much-needed excitement into the dating process.
It also helps keep the spark alive in a dater's heart because finding 'the one' can sometimes be a longer-than-expected process.
7. The beauty of being vulnerable
Contra-dating helps people embrace their vulnerability.
The checklist is primarily made to keep disappointments and heartbreaks at bay but it also keeps daters bound to a certain set of expectations.
Contra-dating puts people out in the open -- open to getting hurt and also open to finding the best relationship of their life.
You could be trying out something new, a raw conversation with an unexpected match, facing anxiety and fear. It might leave you a little awkward, a little unsure but isn't that the beauty of the process?
The advantage is that, because of this, contra-dating not only helps build a deeper connection with one's partner but also with oneself.
8. Learn from experience
While contra-dating doesn't always have to lead to the perfect match, it will certainly offer a great lesson -- whether from a conversation with a match who is poles apart from you or an experience that was not particularly positive.
In its defence, dating the wrong people can also be helpful and eye-opening.
9. Embrace a different perspective
More often than not, dating similar kinds of people leads to similar kinds of conversations.
Contra-dating allows for fresh interactions with people who have a different perspective on life.
It certainly offers a unique way to improve one's communication skills.
10. Achieve the perfect balance
New daters can also get stuck with a certain type of person when they are supposed to explore a bit to figure out their preferences.
Contra-dating is the perfect solution to achieve that balance.
While they do not have to compromise on their non-negotiables, they can still date people outside their 'type'.
It is more like expanding the filters rather than being limited to them.
